A marriage is a covenant not a contract. A contract has terms and conditions. It can expire and it can be breached. On the other hand a covenant is for life, it is not temporary. It ends when one part dies. It is sealed by blood and it is a life and death issue. A contract is written on paper. A covenant means each party give in their life for the other. Hence each side contribute 100% in order to produce something that is 200%! This is something much better that before. It’s not fifty-fifty; it’s one hundred plus one hundred percent. In a contract you give your abilities according to the terms of the contract, but in a covenant you give your life.
In the New covenant Christ as the groom gave his life for the church, the bride and we respond by giving our life to him. Therefore we are saved by Christ 100%! It is not a fifty-fifty. Hence in a kingdom marriage, you give yourself to your spouse regardless of what you get or do not get. This is the God kind of love. This is what glorifies God. That’s why the Bible say, ‘the two shall become one.’ It does not say half of each will be joined together to become one. No, its 100% plus 100% being joined together.
The covenant of marriage is a life and death issue. It is a blood covenant.
If your heart is not established and settled on God’s covenant of salvation it is difficult to understand or accept the covenant of marriage. God loved us as sinners and he commanded husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the sinful Church. God did not love us to get something out of us. Even if we rebel against Him, his love for us is unchanged. So, we love our spouses because it’s a command that we obey.
Unconditional love is full of grace. It is forgiving and longsuffering. It is humble and selfless. As we obey, God commands blessings over us. Unconditional love is the most powerful things in existence! That’s why the Bible says God is love!
The Marriage Vows
“To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.”
These are the words that you promised in your marriage vow. This is a covenant pledge. You promised your spouse. You did not give terms or conditions to the pledge. This is an unconditionally pledge promising unconditional love. This unconditional love pledge can only be sustained by Love Himself, that is, God.
Because you vowed concentrate on keeping your side of the covenant. This is how you get notice by the covenant maker. No not blaming your wife or husband. When you do your part of the covenants, God will bless you, because you are obedient. If you cannot obey your own words in your marriage vow, how can you obey God’s Word? The world is broken and your spouse is also broken. Do not expect your spouse to be perfect or nice to you all the time. Instead look to the perfect God and ‘make your request be known to Him’ [Phil 3]. Why do you waste your time on the imperfect when the perfect one is right in front of you?
Now on the day you made the marriage covenant, you did not say, ‘If you stop loving me, I will leave you or if you misbehave l will ask you to pack your bags or if this or that happens, I will do this and that.’ No. You said, “To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.” This is serious stuff.
Keep the words of your vow, not just to your spouse, but also to GOD. If you do this, God’s grace will cause things around you to change for your good. Stop trying to change your husband/wife because you can’t. It is God who can change people, and before you ask God to change your husband or wife, make sure that you have kept your side of the marriage covenant, “To have and to hold, from this day …. 'till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.” You will be surprised to find that the change that you want to see in your spouse coming after you have changed first.
This revelation will change your marriage. Stop being his or her ‘policeman,’ because it is simply not your responsibility. Just do your part and leave the rest to God. ‘What? Yes, you did not marry your spouse to change or manipulate him/her. You married your spouse to love with unconditional love. Just give your spouse some love. This is what you must do. This is your primary commitment. This is your side of the covenant.
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© Copyright 2016 by It’s My Footprint, www.itsmyfootprint.com .
Taka Sande, www.takasande.com is an author, an entrepreneur and development activist. He has a passion for making a difference by influencing and adding value to people’s lives. He is the founder of the blog It’s My Footprint, http://www.itsmyfootprint.com /.