Tue, 31 Mar 2009 Feature Article

Kasoa Liberation Army

Kasoa Liberation Army

Kasoa Liberation Army, what type of a crude joke is that?

What do you mean crude joke! Walahi, we are serious!

I think jokers like you ought to be locked up in a mental asylum and the key thrown into the darkest pit of hell.

Ah, me! Na you be craze! Don't you see that my people are marginalized? What do you say to that?

Marginalised? And who the hell are your people? You live in Kasoa and so do thousands of other good citizens of Ghana. Who appointed you their spokesman?

I think that you are a government reporter. Or you may be NDC journalist proper, proper?

Get the hell out of there. I am a freelance writer. I just don't believe that lunatic like you should be allowed to waste anyone's valuable time or disturb the peace of this country.

For your information, we have freedom of speech here, ok?

That doesn't mean that malicious jokers like you should be allowed to abuse it. You have billions of brain cells, but you have only one mouth.

It meant that you should do more thinking than talking.

Hey, you mean that we should accept the pile of indignities on Kasoa without protest?

Kasoa is not the only city in Ghana crying out due to neglect. There is simply is not enough resources to go around, that doesn't give every miscreant the license to threaten the peace and stability of the nation. In fact, if the law enforcement agencies are up to their duty, you should be in jail by now.

For expressing my freedom of speech?
No, for constituting a public nuisance, disturbing public peace, for treason, for felony etc, etc.

I am sure that the government has bribed you. Otherwise you'd perform your duty of reporting events instead of acting like a paid government agent.

A great pity you felt that way. I'll gladly report your event if it makes any sense.

So you agree with the monumental neglect of Kasoa which is easily the largest growing metropolis in Ghana? So you agree that the three or four million inhabitants of this great city should have no representation in Ghana? So, you…

Where on earth do you conjure up the figure of four million?

Ok, say three million. Let's say three million. So, you believe that the government is right to neglect the rights of three million Ghanaians? Why is there no minister from this great city? What on earth did we do to offend government? We contribute so much to the economy of Ghana, yet we do not have a decent hospital or a university?

You really have a knack for nonsensical effusions. Three million people in Kasoa alone! I thought the population of the whole of Central Region is two point something million? Where do you expect the country to get enough money to build a university in every hamlet?

Kasoa is no hamlet; it's the fastest growing metropolis…

I don't know from where you get your figures from, other parts of Ghana are not static, for your information.

Do you know how much Kasoa alone is contributing to the Ghanaian economy?

I am sure that you have the figures at your finger tip.

Sure, sure. Look at the highway alone. This is the only international road in the whole of Ghana. Should we close it down; do you know how much revenue will be lost to the state?

That's all you can say, 'Oh.' Now you see why we should be taken seriously?

No, I don't see why you should be taken seriously at all. People going to Burkina Faso would hardly pass through Kasoa…

Ha, how many people go to Burkina, tell me? This is the only major international road. From Nigeria, Togo, Abidjan, Dahomey, Gabon and Cameroon, everyone passes through Kasoa and the government collects taxes on all of them. How about our market, do you know how much Kasoa market contribute to the national economy of Ghana?

Why do I have the feeling that you're dying to tell me?

Don't you know that the Kasoa market is the only international market in Ghana? Don't you know that the name Kasoa means market in the Hausa language?

You have a propensity to throw nonsensical figures around. If you and your drunk followers are inebriated enough to believe in those types f nonsense, that doesn't give you the right to bring them into the public domain.

So you don't believe me?
I don't believe you and I don't believe your nonsense. Yours is like the child who hasn't been to another farm, who believes that his father's farm is the biggest.

What do you mean?
I meant that you and your lunatic fringe should go out and do some reading. There are other big markets in Ghana that no one will even notice if you shut down your Kasoa market.

You lie bad! Where else in Ghana do you have so many nationalities as in Kasoa, tell me? We are important component of the country and we shall make the government reckon with us?

By threatening fire and brimstone? Every part of Ghana is as important as another. We all suffer whenever any part of the country suffers. It is our collective money that is used to quell riots and put out the fires of ethnic riots all over the country. That explains why I believe that the media should desist from giving wackos like you any platform to promote your outlandish ideas.

How about the other people agitating for their people's rights?

The same goes for them. We have only one Ghana and we are only one people. Our efforts should be geared towards building a better Ghana. The only rights we ought to fight for are the rights of every single Ghanaian to live in peace, harmony and prosperity.

PS: The unity of any nation, Ghana included, is not written in stone. The mindless wannabee ethnic champions should get this into their silly heads. There are state institutions constitutionally mandated to address and redress grievances. Our efforts should be geared towards strengthening them where necessary. The so-called youth associations springing up like locusts should channel their energies into developing their places of abode. Instead of making obstreperous noises on the airwaves, they should mobilize themselves for some community works. Gutters need to be de-silted, streets need cleaning. These youth should query their leaders for selling their land, their patrimony and wasting the money on funerals and second-hand jalopies. If these agitators care so much about their communities as they want us to believe, they need to address themselves to the pursuit of positive actions to make their communities better places.

A stop should be put to the situation whereby every scalawag can just wake up on the wrong side of his bed and start threatening the unity and stability of the country. If they don't call themselves to order, the security services should do their jobs and get them to behave like every responsible citizen.

By : Femi Akomolafe

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