Being Good In Bed Is Not A Criteria For Marriage -Counselor Frank Adofoli
How do you become good in bed before marriage when you are not supposed to have sex before marriage? Being good comes with practice. So the notion of people that one must be good in bed before marriage is just telling people to practice prostitution to qualify for marriage.
It’s very wrong for any man or woman to think marriage is all about great sex; To think honeymoon or the first night as a couple is all about sexual ecstasy. It will take as much as a year for couples to enjoy sex in their marriage. Again sex is not the need of the woman but rather the man. So the man has a responsibility to help the woman serve him his need the way he wants it.
As a married man, you are not just a teacher, a head or a leader but also a father. Fathers are initiators. It is your responsibility to teach your wife how to satisfy you in bed. No woman who is a virgin enjoys the act of the first sexual intercourse. It is mostly a painful experience, but with the case of the man, it is not so.
It will take a man who is gentle, patient, understanding, caring to help his wife enjoy such an act. It is not about the strength you have, or how strong you are but how you can focus on your woman, making time for her, learning to understand her emotions and needs and rightly meet them.
That is why the Bible says ““When a man is newly married, he must not be sent into the army. And he must not be given any other special work. For one year he must be free to stay home and make his new wife happy” - Deuteronomy 24:5 (ERV).
If women are to practice and master the act of sex outside marriage with different men before they get married, then the husbands of such women cannot satisfy her sexually.
It will still take the equal number of those men to meet her sexual needs, which means without God’s intervention, she has to sleep with more men to meet her sexual satisfaction in the marriage. What it also means is, such a woman will be unfaithful, she is likely to get back to the Ex or try other men.
Every man is different so is their manhood; the size, length etc. The first manhood a woman knows is enough for her and that is all it takes to meet her sexual needs. But if the woman has to know more men, it's makes it difficult for her to get her sexual satisfaction from one man.
If a man is used to one food, when he is hungry, it is that food which comes to his mind, but when he is exposed to different foods with different tastes what it means is anytime he is hungry, he has to choose from what he is exposed to. Such a man is able to miss a particular taste. You can always miss the food you have tasted or eaten before. You carry a sense of expectations because of your past experience.
So exposing the woman to different sexual partners before marriage only puts her up for confusion and complication. Let's stand for what is right, do what is right, not driven by every desire.
Men should not be having sex with women they are not married to, even if they have an intention of marrying them one day. They might end up destroying someone marriage or wife when they do that.
In conclusion, "Do your best to be the kind of person God will accept, and give yourself to him. Be a worker who has no reason to be ashamed of his work, one who applies the true teaching in the right way" - 2 Timothy 2:15 (ERV).
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