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04.04.2017 Feature Article

Four Things Every Student Will Miss After The Race Is Over

Four Things Every Student Will Miss After The Race Is Over
LISTEN APR 4, 2017

That awkward moment when every student is being slapped right in the face with all kinds and styles of greetings in every nook and cranny of campus. That ungodly hour when you hear a knock on your door even though you never booked an appointment with anyone. You are hit from all angles with their good news when you are even in the shuttle.

Whilst you are busy going to a lecture, you may not see them but they will still introduce themselves to you. Sometimes, they will deliberately divert to your path in order to talk to you. They have abandoned the wearing of “bend down boutique” products and have resorted to sophisticated style of dressing even if the sun is terribly scorching. They look nice in such dresses though. They have signed an unbreakable covenant with “executive wears”.

Funnily enough, those who are noted for always speaking Twi try to even display their amusing ability to rattle in the “Queen’s Language”. On such occasions, many students are tempted to carry along their Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary when going for lectures. You know why? It’s all because these guys will come and speak some impeccable English that need to be checked from the dictionary before one can understand.

I believe by now you know the guys I’m referring to? Well don’t drag me into trouble by thinking that I am referring to Jehovah’s Witnesses. I will not take delight in keeping you in suspense forever. I am referring to the aspirants who are vying for the various portfolios on campus.

In no time, elections on various campuses will come to an end for the aspirants to know their fate as will be determined by the electorate. By 5th April, elections on UCC campus will also come to an end. In these moments, most aspirants become restless especially when they see their opponents working so hard to win the votes of their colleagues. A quick word of advice! Please take it easy in order not to contract high blood pressure. To be sincere with you, there is a long queue of patients waiting to be attended to at the school’s hospital. Please we are also not ready to register the first suicide case in UCC.

In most people’s opinion, aspirants in this year’s elections have been very slow, reserved, relaxed and most importantly spend less on the students. Well, is it that they don’t have much money? Or they have taken a lesson from the demise of “Team Democrat” who was massively disappointed by the only “Royals” on the land of UCC?

I will let sleeping dogs lie by not resurrecting this issue of unfair treatment meted out to “Team Democrat” by the Royals of UCC.

All in all, there is always something spectacular about these aspirants that we will always miss right after the elections. Let’s go through some of these things which every student will soon miss right after elections on campus.

1. The “father Christmas” attitude displayed by aspirants will be missed by every student on campus. The aspirants’ ability to distribute items is always amazing and amusing. This ranges from the subsidization of the prices of sachet water, free distribution of “in-your-nose” which is always complemented with fresh yoghurt, free shuttle services for students down to the distribution of past questions even if we don’t ask for past questions.

We sometimes wonder whether they are Mother Theresa or Father Christmas. Wait ooo, many students are asking of where you always get the money to do all these benevolent deeds. Come on, don’t be offended because that is not my beef for today. Well, we aren’t complaining. So we even wish you could strengthen this philanthropic deeds. The bottom line is that this kind gesture from the aspirants will be missed by all. Lest I forget, most of the level 100s are concerned whether these sweets will keep on coming. Hmmm, I will not like to get ahead of my shadow. Next semester is not far from here so you shall see for yourselves.

2. The unfailing smile from some ladies who need positions. Generally, ladies on campus seem to be in frantic race who are always busy. Apart from some selected few, most of them wear some weird faces which are not very accommodating. We are tempted to believe that you only smile to us because you need our votes. Rumour has it that some ladies smile twice in their stay on campus as students. Thus, they smile when you are able to provide them with past questions and their second smile comes when they need your vote. Like seriously? I nearly mentioned a name in my department. So guys, enjoy all the smiles because it will be over soon. They will go back to their old state. I’m just writing what people are saying oooo.

3. Always knocking at our doors to check on us. Aspirants always have the funny attitude of always checking on students even if they are not in any trouble. You ask them why? And their answer is, “oooh it’s just a casual visit” well, that is quite kind of you. Kudos! Please we will need more of these gestures whether you win or not.

4. Motivational messages from aspirants. Virtually, every aspirant becomes a motivational speaker. Almost every student’s social media account is constantly flooded with motivational messages from these aspirants during every electioneering year. All of a sudden they turn into self-acclaimed ‘Joel Osteen’ and ‘Emmanuel Dei Tumi’. Ayeekoo! ‘Massa’, did we tell you that we are extremely heartbroken? I will give you some credit . Who knows? Maybe that is why no suicide case has been recorded in UCC.

I mean no harm. This is just on a lighter note. The very best of luck to all aspirants in this year’s students’ elections. A 21 gun salute goes to all aspirants.

THE WRITER IS EFFAH ELVIS, A STUDENT OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CAPE COAST

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Elvis Effah
Elvis Effah, © 2017

The author has 29 publications published on Modern Ghana.Column: ElvisEffah

Disclaimer: "The views/contents expressed in this article are the sole responsibility of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect those of Modern Ghana. Modern Ghana will not be responsible or liable for any inaccurate or incorrect statements contained in this article."

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