Sikaman Palava The big society wedding wahala
The big society weddings that used to fascinate brides and bridegrooms is gradually becoming unpopular because there is no cash! Short and simple! No court case. There is no cash!
There is a 'crunch' which means money has become hypertensive, a condition that is likely to lead to one of two things - internal bleeding of the average bridegroom's bank account or financial stroke that cannot be cured by a single-spine salary structure.
The average young man in Sikaman wants to wed his bride, but before then, he must submit himself to the study of macro-economics and austerity budgeting. He must also develop himself into a financial wizard and ultimately learn borrowing skills otherwise his wedding will have tragic consequences.
His biggest problem is how to communicate to his mother-in-law that he would prefer a quiet ceremony of only close family members to beat down cost. Of course, the mother-in-law who has lofty dreams about her beloved daughter's wedding is likely to reject the idea outright.
But the groom must all the same convey his idea of a small wedding and the meeting between the two parties is likely to degenerate into chaos. The mother-in-law will insist that she doesn't want her daughter to be married to a church mouse. The groom's father will issue an instant rejoinder and ask the hard-talking woman to repent and believe in the gospel woman to repent and believe in the gospel.
In such verbal encounters, the groom's father-in-law is not likely to express his inner-most feelings. He is probably more interested in what he will be getting in terms of the net and not the gross. He'd ordinarily wish for a big church wedding for his daughter, but will not insist on it if it is likely to jeopardize his net earnings as far as the spoils are concerned.
It will all depend on the financial circumstances of the man. If he is well-off, the spoils will not be of any immediate concern. If he is a common hustler, then he might be tempted to sacrifice a big wedding on the altar of the weight of his backpocket. It is simple mathematical economics. He'd call his son-in-law indoors and swear him to secrecy.
"Don't spend too much on this wedding," he'd whisper into the ear of the bewildered groom. "Make sure there is some reserved cash, so that when everything is over you can balance me. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
The son-in-law is likely to agree to such an arrangement and his mother-in-law can now go to hell. Now, having secured in advance his share of the spoils, the father-in-law will have the task of cajoling his wife to accept a quieter wedding.
"You see," he'd say. "We don't have to overstretch the youngman or else he won't love his bride. Let's go softly softly! These days, money is scarce, so let's bear with him."
The longevity of any wedding has nothing to do with the cost of organising it. There is no correlation between the cost of marriage and its tenacity. Big weddings have ended in divorce in less than three months. Go and check Hollywood marriages! Some go for only two weeks and it is over with.
People have all kinds of formula for the sustenance of marriage. Obviously, they must be joking. The only formula is in the Bible. Read Colossians. There is no other formula. People keep prescribing chocolates. Marriage is something more than a sweet-tooth. Marriage that is not in the Hands of God cannot subsist. It will flounder, it will stumble and crash.
It is not about how big the wedding is. The ultimate is this - is the wedding blessed?
Everything that is blessed weathers the storm.
It brings to mind the foundation of every marriage. Is it founded on love and mutual respect, or on lust, money, power or influence? Unless it founded on love and mutual respect, it cannot be blessed, and it must ultimately dissolve.
Credit: Merari Alomele [Email: [email protected]]
Source: The Spectator