Cease the One-Size-Fit-All Attitude to Solving Cases Brought before You – Nhyira FM Obra Programme
I find it very admirable and a render of unqualified service to the poor and needy persons, the Nhyira FM Obra programme hosted by Mama Efe and her co-hosts. Similar programme is hosted on Oyerepa FM by Maame Naa. I have cultivated the habit of listening to these two programmes when they are hosted, and if I have time to spare.
Much as the programme is tailored towards assisting persons in difficulty, there is a detection of near one-size-fit-all solution to the cases brought to the radio studios for arbitration, or be solved, by the hosts.
As an adage has it that, "It does not belong to he who is leading to redirect their steps", I would like to comment via this publication, on a case brought before the hosts of Nhyira Obra on Wednesday, 18 November 2020. It was about a lady whose parents are cunningly objecting to her proposed marriage to her lover. The parents are not being frank with their daughter about their objection to her marrying someone outside their tribe or Ashanti extraction, if I can rightly put it that way. Sorry that I am putting words into the parents' mouth. They have not disclosed their real intention but their dilly-dallying, deferring scheduled wedding dates, tells volume.
Be that as it may, I found it concerning the harsh remarks made by some of the studio panellists in condemnation of the girl's parents. Their audacity to order the parents to appear before them to explain themselves as to why they are slyly objecting to their daughter's marriage to a man of the northern extraction, does depict them as exceeding their remit.
The whole case unfolds in the video below. The video is of 2 hours 17 minutes duration. The case about the girl or woman starts from the 25th minute into the recording to its 1 hour 43rd minute. The end remarks by both men are not appreciable. One is saying that the girl's mother will die of her alleged heart problem for behaving so irresponsibly toward her daughter's marriage. He seems to allude that the mother was faking ill to avoid talking on air to explain herself.
The other man, claiming to be a northerner himself like the girl's lover was hyperemotional. He took things personal; felt hurt by the girl's parents' actions. He was near-insulting and ordering the girl's parents to appear before them in the studio.
Frankly speaking, I found the panellist being very irrational. The way he was behaving was rather infuriating. It could not help matters but make them worse. The girl had gone to them to seek help to persuade her parents to agree the choice of her future husband but not to put asunder between her and her parents, I should think.
The parents are entitled to their views, whether it's right or wrong, but only blameable for their dithering and the loss of money unnecessarily incurred by the lovebirds. However, they cannot be arrested for their action by the stipulations of any law. Their behaviour is not a prosecutable crime, although morally wrong.
Let me cite, or narrate, the following case references to buttress my contention that it is not unique to the parents under discussion to disagree with the choice of their daughter or son's future partner. It happens very often.
In the early 1970's, one Mr Owusu, a cocoa purchasing agent, working away from his hometown, rented a room in my father's house for his wife, Madam Adwoa Moshie. Both husband and wife were 100% Ashantis. The woman had two young children (Afua Senya about 10 years and Kwasi Ofori, 7 years) from her previous marriage. Her mother never agreed with her choice of marriage to Mr Owusu, for what hidden reason I can't tell until today.
It was following her mother's burning anger and aversion to their marriage that the man moved her out of her extended family's house to rent her a room in my father's house. Within about two years of the woman, an industrious trader, moving into her rented room, she died. How did her death come about, the public may want to know? She learned about her husband falling seriously ill where he lived and worked; in another town in Ghana. She decided to visit him. On her way going, the bus she was travelling on had a road accident, and that was her end. We heard about her involvement in a lorry accident and a week later, her death. She never returned to Kumawu alive from her trip to visit her sick husband, but in a coffin. Her mother was not perturbed.
I know of a Ghanaian male in Europe. He married a very, very beautiful white lady. They managed to have two children, a boy and girl. The children may now be within the region of 30 years or thereabout. Prior to giving birth, she visited the husband's parents in Ghana. The long and short of the story is, the siblings and the mother of the whitewoman could not stand the fact that their sister or daughter is married to a black person, and so to speak, an African. The woman could no longer stand the pressure being exerted on her with her near rejection by her family. Therefore, she divorced her Ghanaian husband over a trivial incident, using it as a chance to get out of the marriage to appease, and reconcile with, her white family.
Finally, do you think American President Donald Trump, of all doubtful character, will ever sanction her daughter or son's marriage to a black person? It will be over his dead body, I should think. However, for what reason I can't tell but you should know better.
Therefore, don't say that in this modern world or day and age, intermarriages should not be disallowed hence seeing the Ghanaian parents in discussion as odd hence must be treated with disdain.
Yes, the Asante Overlord, Otumfuo Osei Tutu II, is on published video claiming that in the olden days, his Ashanti forefathers went to the northern region to bring over their stout males to sleep with the Ashanti female royals to give birth to tall men to occupy the Ashanti traditional stools. This response came so evasively to a challenge for DNA test raised by one Osei Kwabena, to prove a point that his own nephew, the now self-styled Kumawuhene Barima Sarfo Tweneboa Kodua (Dr Yaw Sarfo), is not the blood son of a man who was claiming at Manhyia Palace to be the father of Dr Yaw Sarfo. Osei Kwabena was insisting that Dr Yaw Sarfo's father was one Salifu from Wa in the northern region.
Since this unfortunate answer by Asantehene to walk over the sensible issue raised by Osei Kwabena in relation to the Kumawu stool, many a person from northern Ghana has cited it to support their arguments of claim of equality, if not superiority.
Nhyira Obra, you can cite Asantehene's view to support your argument, nevertheless, the girl's parents have their right of say. The girl can ignore her parents and does as she wishes, who cares.
This case should have been discussed with the girl's parents in private to arrive at an amicable solution, but not on air for the public to insult them. You have made matters worse hence suggesting that you judge each case on its own merits.
Monday, 23 November 2020
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