Basic Table Manners Rules You Should Not Ignore This Holiday Season

1. Watch yourself
At least once—and I know this is painful—film yourself eating and talking. Yes, even if you're doing the thing where you sort of shove the unswal- lowed food to the side. How is all that looking from an outside perspective? Optics, y'all. Optics.

2. Napkins go in your lap as soon as possible
Remember they're there for you! Supporting you! Helping you achieve the goal of not having sauce on your face or your white pants. They serve all sorts of useful functions including discreet removal of inedible things from your mouth, like fish bones or gristle or, I don't know, whatever you want out of your mouth immediately. It goes into the napkin, then gets sort of rolled in and around. At a restaurant, feel free to ask for another napkin

3. Wait to begin
It's immeasurably better to start eating 20 seconds later than everyone than 5 minutes before. Different people and situations have different etiquette, but unless instructed otherwise, you should not start eating until everyone is seated, everyone is served, and the host picks up his or her fork.

4. Line up your bread and drinks
QUICK! Touch both your index fingers to your thumbs. On your left, you will see a lowercase b, which stands for Bread Plate (yes, this is why the universe gave us opposable thumbs!), and on your right is a lowercase d for Drinks. Your bread plate is to your left, and your drinks are to your right.

5. Get your utensils in order
Generally speaking, implements are arranged with forks on the left, then a plate, then knives, then spoons. Daniel Post Senning suggests remem-bering FO(r)KS as an acronym: Forks, O (for a plate), Knives, Spoons.