22.01.2003 Feature Article

Who The Stamp Fit!

Who The Stamp Fit!
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Rhapsodies On 'Kindness' - Verse 12 The apotheosis of Wofa Jak has begun. Its only two years into his highly mobile globetrotting presidency, and His Excellency is already seeking immortality. And what a backdoor route he chooses. He has quietly slipped behind the UN Secretary-General as if to say, he is the Man behind Anai's success, and together they have put themselves on a stamp. But we say, Who the stamp fit, Let them lick it! Anai deserves to be on a stamp. I wouldn't mind licking a stamp with Anai's head on it. He has become, easily, the most popular Secretary- General in the history of the UN, and he leads with such a quiet, almost magnificent, moral authority. But Wofa JAK wants Ghanaians to cultivate cassava and boil into starch for foreign exchange. Then he puts himself on a stamp. And still we say, Who the stamp fit, Let them lick it. Even Junior Jesus did not put himself on a stamp. That's why he is trying hard to stamp his authority on the NDC. Kutu, the alumnus of SWEBUSCO, never cared about stamps anyway. He stamped a pledge that he had no belief in, into the memories of Ghanaian school children. But Wofa Jak who presides over the 'Golden Age of Business' in Ghana, an LDC, which is also HIPC, tells Ghanaians to engage in his PSI in order to reap the benefits of AGOA. Then he puts himself on a stamp. But why not? The goldsmith's son put himself on the cedi, on stamps, in books and built statues of himself; they named an airport after Kotoka after he removed the goldsmith's son, and so with not much ado Wofa Jak slips behind the Secretary -General, and slap, he is on a stamp! And always we shall say, Who the stamp fit, Let them lick it. The question of who or what should be on a stamp is a vexing one. Generally images from nature, famous buildings, bridges or other architectural landmarks, landmark events and men and women, whose lives and deeds have raised the bar in humanity's search for advancement and nobility, make it to the stamp. Wofa JAK is neither an image from nature nor a famous building. Is he then a landmark event, or, has he been able to raise the bar in our quest for advancement and nobility? Such weighty questions must be answered to judge one's right to be on that little piece of paper, the stamp. Firstly, let us examine the occasion that is commemorated by the aforementioned stamp. It was the Nobel Prize awards night. Now that is definitely a landmark event. A gathering of some of the loftiest intellects and sprits in the world. But those who make it to the stamp are those who do the Nobelling, and we know Wofa JAK was not doing the Nobelling, yet he made it to the stamp. Call it stamp-by-osmosis or Stampede; it is quite easy to overrate one's talents and abilities when you are in such elite company. As to raising the bar on our quest for advancement, a description of Ghanaian workers' life by the TUC Secretary General, Kwesi Adu-Amankwa, says it all. He said the picture of the working poor in Ghana is a real and grime one. "The majority of working families in Ghana earn very low and inadequate incomes. The reality of households with incomes that enable families to meet the demands of decent food, accommodation, health and education is a harsh one in Ghana". He said it is widely known that approximately 40 per cent of Ghanaians earn less that $1 a day." Source: The Insight. Certainly not a convincing case for raising the bar on advancement! Certainly not a candidate for the little piece of paper! Wofa JAK should have tried bigger pieces of paper. Maybe splash his photographs across office walls, just as Kutu did. That's more exposure, you know. Kutu had such a down to-earth homespun logic to him. Why splash your image on a small piece of paper that have to be purchased, when you can splash it freely on large photographs, looking resplendent in Army ceremonials, 'waniase koooo' from some serious Black Label Whisky. I think we should put Junior Jesus on a stamp. Maybe place him behind Wofa Jak and Anai. Junior will surely look like the Man behind them all. But then he will be raining on their parades. Maybe he deserves his own stamp. We could have a before-and-after picture of JJ, one behind the other, the front one with his military fatigues and his sunken cheeks, the back one in his tailored suits and Jaguar. He would be behind himself, his own Man, as he definitely is. It would be a fitting reward for the profound statements that he is making these days. After he refused Wofa JAK's Fanta at Christmas, he was known to have remarked that, "whilst he can drink from a gift of justice, he cannot expect to get justice from a gift of drinks". That's very deep, coming from Junior, and, so long as he understands what he said, I think he deserves a stamp. Then, and still then, we shall say, Who the stamp fit, Let them lick it. Licky! Licky! While we are at it let's put Wofa Jak's wife on a stamp. While Wofa Jak was busy importing vehicles left, right and center to solve health care problems and improve the image of the buga buga, her own buga buga was busy dishing slaps to a humble Army Major who had better things to do than wait hours for her motorcade to pass. Much like the wife of Moustache Akuffo, who was known to break her drinking glasses after lesser people had drank from them. The wife of a chief executive has standards to uphold. Seriously, I think we should all get our own stamps. That way if you don't want to lick someone's stamp, you lick your own. It would even help in courtship. If you love someone, you simply lick her stamp. Until then, we say, Who the stamp fit, Let them lick it. For the sake of national consciousness, it might be a better idea for all Ghanaian to be put on one giant stamp. We could have National Licking Conventions (NLCs) when the sons and daughters of our country will get together to lick the giant stamp, in Accra or Kumasi. Maybe every forty days, just like the Akan Adae Festival. Or, a yearly Lick-fest, same as Christmas. But knowing Ghanaians, tribal stamps will start flourishing, and Anlo and Mamprussi stamps will start surfacing, and adulterate the joys of national licking. So, Lets ban stamps! No stamps, No licking!

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