'Papa no' a song by Barima Sydney has gained a lot of currency since it was released on the 14th of August 2020 on YouTube. The lyrics in the song portrays a big man who allegedly would necessarily sleep with any girl who comes across his way.
'Papa no' is an Akan word which literally means "that man". As to who the term 'Papa no' is attributed to isn't known but many are pointing accusing fingers at our former president John Dramani Mahama. The reason why that attribution is being done, I don't know. But, rumours have it that, a controversy that started between Belinda Nana Ekua Amoah aka Mzbel, Tracy Boakye and one Gloria Kani sparked this whole brouhaha. Their own commentaries in a lot of social media videos seem to suggest that, the 'Papa no' mantra is allegedly attributed to our former president.
I have deliberately spent some considerable amount of time and listened to some of the emotional and unwarranted outbursts from these ladies. And, I must admit that I'm very ashamed and appalled by their unnecessary vituperations against each other. I must admit that I've not heard Mzbel go on that tangent but Tracy and Kani have made some allusion which points to President Mahama that I find highly uncouth, reprehensible and condemnable.
Enter Kennedy Agyapong
Since the matter broke out, I'm yet to hear any high profile personality condemn the unnecessary social media war being waged against some of the prominent sons of our land.
It was only on Monday, 17th of August, 2020 that the Assin Central MP, Kennedy Agyapong condemned Tracy Boakye for allegedly trying to blackmail our former president John Dramani Mahama. According to Hon. Kennedy Agyapong Tracy was very poor and didn't understand why if she has received such help from president Mahama, she would turn round to accuse same person. He dared Tracy to bring out any audio or video she has in possession against the former president and let all see what happens in our country.
While Mr. Agyapong was on Net2tv speaking about this same issue, Tracy was on Facebook reacting to some of the things honourable Kennedy Agyapong has said about her. In her video on Facebook, she claimed she has a boyfriend, and no one should attribute her current status to the former president.
Tracy said among others that, she has no audio nor video against president Mahama and wandered why Mr. Agyapong could say such things against her. She further added that, she isn't a fool to do that and as such Mr. Agyapong who could be his father should leave her alone. She appeared sad that, the NDC which she supported had deserted her and rather some are sending her threatening messages amidst this brouhaha without necessarily hearing her side of the story.
Courtesans As Celebrities?
In the video of Tracy Boakye reacting to what Honourable Kennedy Agyapong has said about her, she admitted sleeping with A plus and Prophet Nigel Gaisie. Indeed she had the moral temerity to admit sleeping with men. "I have never said anywhere that, I'm a virgin so if someone has slept with me so what?" She further added that, she isn't a wife to anyone and even if she has slept with a hundred men, that is her own cup of tea.
Before this Mzbel, Tracy and Kani episode, there have been rumours of so called female celebrities sleeping with big men in our society in order to enjoy from their largesse. Such rumours have come up one and to many times, and are these the celebrities who are serving as role models to our kids? That Tracey can openly make an admission of sleeping with men and daring anyone about it?
Since when did issues of sex become a public matter? That Tracy could boldly claim she isn't a virgin and as such if people sleep with her so what? Impliedly, she meant she has been able to acquire all she has now through sleeping with men? Is that the moral depravity our society has sunk into?
Sadly, in Ghana these so called celebrities be it media personalities and actresses have huge following on their social media handles. If these are the kinds of lifestyles they lead and unashamedly say same on social media then what are they actually teaching our young generation who follow them?
No wonder on 17th of August, 2020 on my show 'love Circles' on GBC Radio Central, George Mensah said that "as soon as you promise love to a woman, she would request for a registration fee". When I asked what registration fee meant in that context, he explained that "Once the lady agrees to your proposal, she would start; I've not eaten this morning, Can you buy me pizza, can you do this for me etc". Is that how we are developing our society? That young girls are seeing a relationship with men as job opportunities?
I am not by this trying to allude to the fact, a man shouldn't assist a woman when they are in a relationship. Men should assist the women they are in a relationship with but this situation where young ladies deliberately find their way into the hearts of men of substance in society for money, is very disturbing. Such ladies most of the time known as 'slay queens' can appropriately be described as courtesans or better still prostitutes in a disguised form.
But, that notwithstanding, I also blame some of our big men in society. I blame them not for having concubines but the type of girls or ladies they decide to associate with is my worry. Why go for these so called slay queens or courtesans or 'ashawobrities' or 'vaginapreneurs'?
I don't use issues concerning men and their concubines against them when the matter becomes a public issue. I wouldn't do that not even against my bitter enemy. On this one, I praise Hon. Kennedy Agyapong for his bold defence of President Mahama on this matter.
I believe I don't hold the moral yardstick against anyone. When such issues crop up, we shall make our informed judgement on them but get very surprised when I see other the men use such things against their fellow.
Men would continue to have amorous relationships with women and such relationships may have issues depending on what happens from time to time. Such an amorous relationship doesn't end whether men get married or not.
Some married men have had extramarital affairs with ladies and that didn't start today. There were religious personages who had concubines even though they had wives. Concubinage isn't a new phenomenon in the world or in Ghana and history is replete with many such stories.
In contemporary times some leaders and personalities of the world have had their own fair share of problems with women. Silvio Berlusconi, Prime Minister of Italy has had his own fair share of problems associating with women. Dominique Strauss-Kahn, a former IMF boss in 2011 was accused of attempted rape and assault which eventually cost him his job at the IMF.
Even in the USA, a country where bigamy is a crime, some of their President's have been embroiled in sexual misconduct. Their current President Donald Trump has been accused by Stephanie Clifford, who claims she had an affair with Trump at a Lake Tahoe celebrity golf tournament in 2006 and this story was published in 2018. While President Trump's case is very current, similar stories of infidelity on the part of some presidents in America abound. Some are discussed below:
The first president of the USA, George Washington who ruled from 1789 to 1797 was alleged to have fathered children with a slave named Venus who lived on his family's Virginia estate. In 1999, The New York Times reported that the slave's descendants were seeking a DNA test to prove they were related to Washington.
Similarly, Thomas Jefferson, third president of the United States who ruled from 1801 to 1809 was also accused of fathering children with a slave, Sally Hemings, during his first term in office. A 1998 DNA test linked two Hemings descendants to Jefferson. Again, Andrew Jackson, the seventh president of the United States from 1829 to 1837 came under fire for his marriage to Rachel Donelson Robards because the two wed before she was legally divorced from her previous marriage.
William Henry Harrison, the ninth president of the United States in 1841. He is known in American history as the shortest-tenured president. Harrison was believed to have possibly engaged in a relationship with one of his slaves, Dilsia. Her ancestors claimed she had six children with Harrison, who died after serving for 32 days as president. Another president who has sexual relations with his slave is John Tyler, tenth president of the United States. He ruled from 1841 to 1845 after briefly serving as the tenth vice president in 1841. He served following Harrison's death. He was also was accused by an abolitionist writer of fathering children with one of his Virginia slaves, The Washington Post reported.
Further, James Abram Garfield, the 20th president of the United States was alleged to have carried out an extramarital affair in 1862 while he was a Civil War general. He is another short-tenured president who was assassinated six and half months after being president. Garfield served from March 4, 1881.
Stephen Gover Cleveland, the only president to serve two, non-consecutive terms in the Oval Office, was faced with quite a report during his first campaign for the White House. He was the 22nd and 24th president of the United States, from 1885–1889 and 1893–1897. The Buffalo Evening Telegraph broke a story that Cleveland, 10 years prior to his presidential bid, had a child with a woman named Maria Halpin. Halpin was then sent to a psychiatric asylum while the child was adopted by another family.
Warren Gamaliel Harding, the nation's 29th president, was long believed to have fathered a child out of his marriage. Harding was said to have done so with Nan Britton, whom he had an affair with while in office. Again, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, the 32nd president of the United States from 1933 until his death in 1945. He is known to have carried out a longtime affair with his wife Eleanor's secretary, Lucy Mercer.
Dwight David Eisenhower, the 34th president of the United States from 1953 to 1961. He carried out a lengthy affair with his driver, Kay Summersby, who would later detail the relationship after his death. John Fitzgerald Kennedy, 35th president of the United States from January 1961 until his assassination in November 1963. Before his untimely death, he had a number of high-profile, rumoured affairs, most notably with movie star Marilyn Monroe.
Lyndon Baines Johnson, the 36th president of the United States from 1963 to 1969, and previously as 37th vice president from 1961 to 1963. He assumed the presidency following the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. He reportedly had a number of affairs, including one of 21 years with Madeleine Brown. A Johnson biographer wrote that when "people mentioned Kennedy's many affairs, Johnson would bang the table and declare that he had more women by accident than Kennedy ever had on purpose.
George Herbert Walker Bush, the 41st president of the United States from 1989 to 1993. The first Bush president faced allegations of affairs with two women, one being a White House staffer during his administration and another being a woman he allegedly carried out a relationship within the 1960s. Bush denied both allegations
Bill Clinton, the 42nd president of the United States from 1993 to 2001. His sexual escapades and the allegations of misconduct against him were the most notable in recent memory prior to Trump.
The most high-profile incident involved his affair with Monica Lewinsky, though women such as Paula Jones, Gennifer Flowers, Kathleen Willey, Elizabeth War Gracen, and Juanita Broaddrick all levied accusations of sexual misconduct against him.
George Walker Bush, the second of the family and the 43rd president of the United States from 2001 to 2009. He was alleged of sexually assaulting a Texas woman who later committed suicide. He was also alleged to have engaged in an 18-month affair with a former stripper, with the affair concluding in 1999 (Smith, 2018).
From the foregoing and with reference to our recent history, I don't see why 'Papa no' should be an issue especially where men are using against their kind.
Dr Richard Anane, and Hon. Kennedy Agyapong has had children with other women apart from their wives. These matters came into the public domain and these men have admitted same.
I can say with all certainty that, most men have fathered children outside their marriage, but such issues are yet to be made public. In addition, most married men in Ghana have concubines which is normally called a 'side chick'. With this, I cannot fathom why some men would join the bandwagon to do more damage to another whose extramarital matter has been a matter of public opprobrium.
I sincerely think that what men should do when such issues come up is to stop denigrating but rather support our kind. Because with the current happenings none of the women have alleged that they have been raped. That presupposes it was a consensual relationship they had with these men. So, why are they disgracefully exposing themselves and tarnishing the image of such men on social media? We cannot support such nonsense and entertain same.
Going forward, I posit that should any man decide to have a concubine, he should not go for these so called celebrities who have nothing serious to offer. Most of them have no moral upbringing, no proper values and have no shame. There are a lot of decent ladies who are well brought up and wouldn't do any of the things Tracy and Kani are doing.
The men who are up in arms just because 'Papa no' matter has come up should watch out. They should stop pointing accusing fingers and rather show solidarity with our fellow men. If the criticism is geared towards the fact that, they suspect that some of our leaders are lavishing state resources on their girls, then that debate can ensue.
Men should not and must not be seen supporting ladies to bring their kind down for whatever reason. King David of the Bible who had wives still got attracted to his soldiers' wife and made sure he had her. That brought him untold difficulties as captured in the Bible. This should awaken all men to reality that, such things can happen to anyone.
Let the 'Papa no' episode be a guiding post for all high ranking men in society. Let all men emulate the example of Assin Central Member of Parliament, Kennedy Ohene Agyapong and condemn all ladies who decide to use sex to soil the image of men in our society.