A friend called Jezebel

“This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD. No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn.” (Isaiah 54:17)

Once upon a time I had a friend let’s call her for legal reasons Jezebel, I met Jezebel in my first year of university as I was trying to navigate myself and find God. Jezebel became a huge stumbling block in myself development and my relationship with God. Jezebel had the spirit of Jezebel, she was just evil in a way I still cannot comprehend. Jezebel was unkept, with a bad style and people just generally stayed away because she looked like a grandmother even though she was young, dressed like one and said the strangest things, Jezebel though seemingly quiet and in the first days of knowing you pretending to really like and then compliment you over the top, had the evillest intentions.

I began to notice Jezebel after helping her with her problems (trust me there were many, many were conflicting stories and she never really wanted to open up or be honest) she was never real and that was my first mistake trusting someone who withheld information, but I wanted to help her, and she had been nice in the beginning, and I felt so bad for her. Then I began to see glimpses of her anger, now I can get angry but hers came out of nowhere and it was like someone taking of their mask after pretending to be composed, she looked possessed and in rage, it was even more scary than the incredible hulk transformation. Everything about her was pretence, as time went on, I noticed all my good news was horror to her. After me being the only one kind to her, she told me she was jealous of me, saw everything good I had and wanted to take it and hated all the things she praised about me. She said she only wanted to be 1/10 of me and wanted to be a superhuman being. Totally crazy. She mimicked me and told me she went home to practice my speech and my hand gestures, that she wanted to become me. I had become her God, and I am not God, so I didn’t particularly appreciate her idol worship. I found it extremely scary. She also said when I fell in love or dated someone, she would try her best to steal him doing everything I wouldn’t do with them. She tried to one up me in everything I did and was just totally obsessed with making me unhappy. Whenever I was upset, she would be happy, whenever I was happy, she would be upset. She tried to figure out what upset me and do it. She was what Satan is to God to me.

I struggle with unforgiveness and after I did her good and, in my opinion, upgraded her. I became so mean and spiteful to her because I wasn’t about that. She even asked me if I would still advise her regardless, I cursed the living daily lights out of her. It made me not really want to share my ideas or really help people much because of the payback she gave to me and how twisted she was. I didn’t even know people like her existed. So instead of focussing on myself and totally forgetting her because she didn’t deserve my thoughts. I went on a revenge plan and tried to make her quit copying and mimicking all the good things I taught her and to make her upset. The truth is being myself was already the biggest pain to her.

I didn’t even want her to mimic me and get anything good out of it, I am quite a quirky unique character, and I don’t even want a photocopy of me around. However, you cannot control other people and there’s only one me. Now I think about it, it’s quite hilarious to have a copycat, I wish I responded with laughter rather than anger. I wish I just forgave not that I think what she did is right, or I like her but because she isn’t worth any energy for me to have carried hate against her after doing her good for years. If the good things I did for her helped her improve her life I may not be happy about it because she didn’t deserve my goodness however, I am sure God is happy with me and it’s a beautiful thing to help someone who was so down improve a little and she lost a beautiful friend, who she will never be.

I have met quite a few Jezebels in my life. From girls I was kind to in secondary school who stabbed me in the back, to people I helped in a political organisation who stabbed me in the back, it’s easy to not want to love, to not open yourself up to people, because they seem so nice in the beginning before they hurt you. Nevertheless, the bible says do not be weary in doing good. Yes, I have lost opportunities due to my good heart, yes it may have caused me pain, but you know what I am not going to let bad experiences with broken cruel people stop my good character. Now if I see signs of being used, I depart quickly, however there are so many beautiful people in the world and people who desperately need an open heart. I will not deny the world of my goodness or those people, or God because people who didn’t deserve it threw it in my face. Some people step over others to get to their destinations, I cannot pretend to know why they do it, however I don’t even care anymore.

I know God says no weapon formed against me shall prosper and I pull down every stronghold that exalts itself above goodness and mercy following me, every tongue that rises against me in judgement I shall condemn. This world is a beautiful place, filled with spectacular people and you can miss it if you cast your pearls before swine and they trample on it. That’s what swine do. I guess the lesson is do not cast your pearls before them, they do not know better. I am sure many of us have met a Jezebel that left us heartbroken, do not be like Elisha and because of them lose yourself and run in a cave away from the world and people who need you, face them head on, heal and continue to do good works.