5 Things You Should Never Say To Your Pastor

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Listening to the gripes of the Lord’s people is standard fare for ministers. They ought to teach courses on it in seminary. Someone please tell the newly ordained to get ready.

The primary nerve center for griping and complaining in the church house has always been the carnal and the worldly. This includes two groups of people: the unsaved (represented by the infamous mixed multitude of unbelievers and hangers-on who went up from Egypt with Moses and Israel) and the unspiritual. The latter group is saved but has taken a seat just inside the front gate and gone no deeper into the spiritual things.

We all have our list of pet peeves in life. We pastors have our list of expressions people use to manipulate others so they can get their way. Here is my personal list of the worst things I’ve heard said in church.

1. "The pastor is not meeting my needs"
He’s not there to meet your needs. Jesus does that. The pastor is there as a shepherd to watch over the entire flock and to see that healthy food is available and safe procedures are in place. He’s there to make you holy, not happy.

2. "I’m not being spiritually fed"
Babies have to be spoon-fed. Adults can feed themselves. Since I’ve been able to read the Bible for myself and study God’s Word independently, I’ve not depended on the pastor to burp me.

3. "I have a right…"
The Christian faith is about the grace and mercy of God. We thank God He does not give us what we deserve. Faithful believers show the same kind of dedication and love to one another. But at no point is a child of God to insist on his rights.

If we got what we deserve, we would all be in hell.

4. "I’m not one to gossip, but…"
That’s always the prelude to gossip.
When I was a young pastor, one lady in the church would confide, “Now, I know you would want to know….” It was her way of passing along gossip.

Stifling the urge to pass along the latest trash on someone in the church is one of the hardest skills to acquire. Only the mature can pull it off.

5. "Now, I’m not saying who, but some people are unhappy about…"

Anonymous criticism is one of the most cowardly things ever concocted in hell. When the pastor asks, “Who exactly is this you say is unhappy?” his critic answers, “Well, I’m not at liberty to say.” (At that point, the preacher should then get up and show his visitor the door. “This conversation is over, friend.” And if they don’t leave, the pastor should.)

Lay leaders should teach the membership never ever to bring anonymous criticism to them or to their ministers.