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10.02.2017 Feature Article

Car “Stealers:” Politicians Should Learn from Prez Limann

Car “Stealers:” Politicians Should Learn from Prez Limann
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**Akadu N. Mensema is every suffering, marginalized, and benighted Ghanaian who is ardently looking for change and renewal in President Akufo-Addo and Vice President Bawumia's Ghana. Let us speak truth to the killers of our postcolonial aspirations, optimism, and progress. Truth is bitter, but heals!

Hmm! Aging and poor Limann had one car
He never stole or demanded for a state car
The state never gave him a car
Saintly Junior Jesus never gave Limann a car
Limann had one car
His aging and poor 404 Peugeot
Aging 404
Decrepit 404
Oh! And at high noon
Sweating bystanders pushed Limann's 404
Pushed hard to jump-start it
And honorable Limann looked on
And his car died
And Limann died

The “STEALERS”
The PEN-ARMED ROBBERS
Think about car
They don't care about
Decaying hospitals
Collapsing schools
Dilapidated roads
Putrefying environment
Chinese-galamsyed watersheds, rivers, forests, and farmlands
Impoverished jobless youth

The “STEALERS”
The PEN-ARMED ROBBERS
They are the KILLERS OF THE DREAM
Of the postcolonial dream
Of our collective dream
They are vultures worse than white imperialists
They are vultures who eat their own carcasses
They steal, pilfer, poach, appropriate, swipe, burgle, rob, brand cars
They are CRAFTY PEN-ARMED ROBBERS
They steal, pilfer, poach, appropriate, swipe, burgle, rob, brand cars
Special Cars for market to buy diapers
Special Cars for saloon to buy fake hair for girlfriends
Special Cars to rent porno for underage girls
Special Cars to purchase cocaine in Tudu
Special Cars for concubines to visit their home-towns
Special Cars to take dada mma to expensive schools
Special Cars to go to the beach
Special Cars to go to KFC
Special Cars to pick up prostitutes
Special Cars to buy alcohol

The Mulatto preacher
He preached to and for all Ghanaians
His theology of equality
Ah Holier than thou chapters
Chapter One and Verse One on Cars
And he quoted “ONE GHANAIAN ONE CAR TYRE”
He closed Chapter One and Verse One
He requested for 16 cars
Today he owns a fleet of posh cars

The owner of Hotel Tetteh Kwasi
He never liked Kejetia Chrysler
He liked Americano Chrysler
He liked 10 Americano Chrysler
Different colours
Different engines
Different seats

The Seer of SADDENED Akomfem that flew to Burkina
He never liked American tractors
Ha haaa! He received a gift of American Fiord via Burkina
Yes Burkina Pito on wheels
Ah the Akomfem came along in Burkina Fiord
Burkina Fiord is not made in Burkina

In Ghana
Na life be car
Na sun be car
Na moon be car
Na rain be car
Air too dem de call am car
Na bus be car
Na van be car
Na articulator be car
Na airplane be car
Na train be car
Na boat be car
Na canoe be car
In Ghana na life be car oh

Self-appointed prophets want car
We pay tithes with our stolen money
Political party executives want car
We help the misappropriate state funds
Vice Chancellors want car
We engage in thievery tender processes
Chiefs who never work want car
We promise to vote for every political party

Oh Ghanaians na everything be car, car
Car be status symbol
Car be for state thieves
Car be for pen-armed robbers
Car be for chopping university girls

Na government policy be car
Our governments dey use their first three months
To investigate car tyres in Fante Nyankumasi
To investigate car engines in Osu Alata
To investigate car break-pads in Anloga
To investigate car bolts in politicians pants
To investigate car corpse in Mills' Osu Castle
To investigate engine oil in Flag staff House workers' mouths

Officials claim they need 4-wheeled cars
To overcome potholes they created
The MPs claim they need $50,000 cars
To find where their constituencies are located
Retirees claim cars to stay away from work

Our social standing is based on cars
Our wealth is defined by cars and cars
Ah! The latest BMW
We love the latest Mercedes
Ah! By any crooked means
Ah we call one THE RANGE
Ah! That is Range ranging for respect
And Hummer to hammer our potholes

Retirement policies on cars
But school buildings are collapsing
Police no get state cars for dem work
Border Guards no get state cars for dem work
Prisons no get state cars for dem work
Fire Service no get state cars for dem work
Hospitals no get ambulances for dem work

The thievery elites have a fleet of state-loaned/owned cars
Na wa oh, cocoa farmers no dey get wheelbarrows
Teachers no have bicycles
Nurses no dey have motor-bikes

Cars oh cars cars oh cars oh cars
Our cacophony of car progress
Deceit of democratic equity
It is all about Car-Crazy leaders
Lording it over Car-Crazy masses

*AKADU N. MENSEMA [email protected]

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