Kofi Dubai writes from Davos, Switzerland

Dear Country-folks,
I am writing to you from my hotel suite in Davos, Switzerland.

Our elders were right when they said: “travel and see”. That is precisely what I intend to do. Travel. I intend to do a lot of that over the remaining years of my Presidency. Whether I will “see” or not is another matter. The country folks have already started to complain that I am becoming a “traveller President”. Well, I've got news for them. To quote Ronald Reagan, “they ain't seen nothing, yet”. I am not called Kofi Dubai for nothing. They knew I was already the most travelled Vice President in the history of Ghana and yet they voted for me. What else were they expecting of me as President? To stay at home as H.E. Kofi Asomdwee did to pray for peace for Ghana while his ministers and aides threatened fire and brimstone on their opponents? Tweaaaaaa.

I flew into Davos on the aircraft purchased for Ghana by H.E. Kofi Diawuo. Talking of Kofi Diawuo, I am told by Davos historians that he did Africa proud anytime he participated in discussions in Davos. In fact, the picture of Kofi Diawuo on Wikipedia was taking while he was participating in a discussion here at Davos. I do not believe H.E. Kofi Asomdwee and H.E. Kofi Gyato ever had this opportunity. I shall find out from my Aides. Trust my aides, they will say “yes”, even though I am sure the answer is “No”. Talking, of aides, I am already regretting my appointment of Ben Dotse Malor, my chief propagandist. Well, I shall leave that discussion for my next letter.

Davos is a small town of about 11,000 people nestled in the Swiss Alps. Since 1971, it has been the usual venue of the World Economic Forum (WEF). The WEF is a Swiss non-profit foundation that describes itself as an independent international organization committed to improving the state of the world by engaging business, political, academic and other leaders of society to shape global regional and industry agendas.

I shall plan my next Christmas vacation for Davos. Just do not re-christen me after that. The serene atmosphere here is ideal for strategizing on the next winning slogan after “E Dey Be-e Kur Kur”. The next slogan must be something a little bit more sensible as some Ghanaians have long memories and may remember that the only thing that was real about “E Dey Be-e kur Kur” was “Yε Be De-e Kur Kur”. One clear manifestation of “Yε Be De-e Kur Kur” is that Merchant Bank as we knew it is no more. Then there is GYEEDA, SADA, SUBAH, etc. Oh, what have we done to Nkrumah's Ghana?

Kofi Gyato will not have understood nor cared for half the discussions here in Davos. Of course, as one who enjoys luxury and enjoys hobnobbing with the rich and famous (as he does with ordinary folks, especially when they are “giving him fans”), Kofi Gyato would have appreciated that side of Davos. Kofi Asomdwee preferred to stay at home to mind his own business. What that business led to was money going out waa waa to pay judgement debts, party financiers, Heroes Fund , and maintain a propagandist infrastructure which I have inherited and boosted its capacity tremendously. The NDC has indeed produced some interesting Presidents. Tweaaaaaa.

Yesterday, I made what I thought was a brilliant presentation at the Forum. Since then it has dawned on me that it was anything but that. Our Nigerian friends will describe my talk as “beautiful English”, but lacking in substance.

In the course of my talk, I saw some shaking of heads. I thought they were not comprehending my beautiful Ghanaian accent. As it turned out, I could not have been more wrong about my thoughts. I had spoken about windfall tax that my government had contemplated for mining companies operating in the country. The windfall tax sought to make countryfolks like you benefit more directly from the rather high price of gold on world markets in the course of the last several years. The mining companies had kicked against it citing that reduced profits from the extra tax might mean job cuts. I capitulated. On that basis, I concluded my otherwise “beautiful English” at the Forum by saying that the mining companies were not being fair.

I have since received some flak for my supine position on the issue. That was also the reason why some participants were shaking their heads in grief. That I should have been more presidential standing up for the poor African instead of the whinnying show I put up there. Indeed, this will not be the first time that I have been accused of being whinny. I must be careful lest it becomes my trademark. Other than speaking “beautiful English”, I just can't seem to get anything right as President. Of course, thanks to my excellent showmanship and communication skills, I have been able to hide my inadequacies rather well. The question, is for how long will this charade hold?

Well, let me push this can further down the road. I shall address it later as I do all other issues. For now, let me take in the breath-taking beauty of Davos.

Kofi Dubai (His Excellency in Showmanship)
Gilbert Adu Gyimah
Alberta, Canada
[email protected]