Kofi Dubai writes from Dubai

Dear Country-folks,
You will no doubt remember my trip to Atlanta, USA last year. How could you forget? That was a rather memorable trip. On that trip, I sent you a photo of my pose in front of the CNN emblem. The very thought of that pose, by the CNN emblem, makes me giddy with excitement. My grin in the photo looked rather presidential,… well, most will say un-presidential.

Guess where I am writing this letter from. Yes, Dubai. That is where I am spending the Christmas holidays with my family.

I didn't want to send a photo this time. I felt that a letter will be in order.

Contrary to what you may be hearing from some of our country-folk, my presence here in Dubai is not all about “play”. I came here with a full work load. Well, not quite a full one, but some work nonetheless that I shall share with you in the course of this letter.

But before I go into the workload, a little about Dubai. Simply put, Dubai is a beautiful city located in the Emirate of Dubai in the United Arab Emirates. Suffice it to say that the government here means business, unlike the kind I have made you accustomed to. Here, it is the citizens that “chop” the meat to the bone, and not the government.

Let me get to my workload now.
First on my list is setting review questions for my ministers. You know they would be undergoing performance reviews/evaluations on my return. You may wonder what is so tasking or difficult about setting review questions if I know what I am doing. Well, that is precisely the point. Do I know what I am doing? Am I not opening a pandora's box with this public gimmick about evaluations? What am I supposed to evaluate them on? Were they not appointed solely on the basis of party loyalty and/or connections to the NDC? Have they disappointed in that department? True, they may have disappointed Ghanaians. I know I have. But they surely have not disappointed me. After employing every accounting and legal “poli-tricks” there are to literally buy an electoral victory, there is no change to spare on anything else. My appointees helped me to achieve my electoral victory. How can I evaluate them poorly? It would simply be unwise to do so. That is one reason why my holiday is not work-free. My main reason for worrying though is that when the public eventually realizes that all this hyped up “evaluation” is yet another one of my publicity gimmicks, it will be no laughing matter for me.

Another task that has me busy working on my Christmas holiday is the matter of the sale of Merchant Bank. The whole deal is so ridden with conflict of interest that I am amazed we have been able to pull it off. Well, on second thoughts, that does not seem so surprising after all. If I could be elected into office after the Judgement Debts saga, Woyome-gate, and voted into office after five months of campaigning, I am yet to see a coup d'etat that will overwhelm me. My difficulty has to do with finding a plausible explanation for the conflict-of-interest question. The conflict-of-interest itself, even I, find it mind-boggling. That my personal lawyer is also the lawyer of my brother. This same lawyer is the lawyer for a company that is wholly-owned by my brother. This lawyer is also the lawyer for the company seeking to by Merchant Bank. My brother's company is reportedly the largest loan defaulter of Merchant Bank. I sat through a meeting to discuss the indebtedness of my brother's company to Merchant Bank. And what did I do following the meeting in my capacity as Vice President and subsequently as President? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Was that deliberate? I don't know. But “I don't know” will not be enough to satisfy those baying for my blood.

Eureka. Writing this piece has given me an idea as to how resolve the “conflict of interest” question. Simply re-define “conflict of interest” or feign ignorance as to what it signifies. Dr. Afari-Gyan successfully did this when it came to the definition of over-voting. Why can't I do same? So, there was no conflict of interest because in all matters involving Merchant Bank and my brother's company, I did not act. Some will say “championing from behind”. When you “champion from the front”, that is conflict of interest. When you “champion from behind”, that is not a conflict of interest. Eureka!

Kofi Dubai
Gilbert Adu Gyimah
Alberta, Canada
[email protected]