If Heaven Was Physical Prelates Will Be Cashiers

“We have to take our corpses for burial in neighboring villages since Archbishop Tonye Bakot imposed FCFA 700,000 as cost of owning a tomb at the Mvolye cemetery.” Said Bruno Olinga

I have been visiting Bruno Olinga in Yaounde since 1987 when I first got to the University of Yaounde. He is husband to my cousin Ijang.

In October 1987, we went to the Mvolye cemetery to polish the graves of Bruno Olinga's mother and father. This Ewondo family was fervent Catholics and believed burying theirs in a cemetery close to the church was consigning their departed to the care of God himself.

My colleagues at Yaounde University in the 1980s used to wonder how I was able to cohabit with a Ewondo family speaking mostly French. Well we managed to live together though our relation degenerated at times. We patched things and I managed to graduate from Yaounde University. As a people in private life, the Ewondo are a formidable people, ready to share even their wives and daughters with you once they called you “mon frère”.

Back at that time, when Ijang's husband and myself tended to his parents' graves, space for burial at the cemetery cost FCFA 10,000. Today, during and after Archbishop Tonye Bakot, the cost of space for burial at Mvolye has jumped to FCFA 700,000. People were suffering quietly while burying their dead.

This leads one to ask how much space will cost in heaven if heaven was a physical destination.

It is certain from this trend that space in heaven would be very expensive going by what prelates are forcing down the throats of Christians. All denominations tax and perhaps overtax their followers for services.

Baptism in Catholic Church is FCFA 100,000
Confirmation and first communion cost FCFA 150,000
Wedding depends on the purse of the couple but at least FCFA 300,000

Sacrament of last ointment is FCFA 200,000
Funeral mass and burial space over FCFA 800,000
The VATICAN Bank indeed draws savings from all over the world depending on the aggressiveness, albeit greediness of the prelate over a parish or diocese.

The Catholics should not take offence if I do not mention the other denominations.

Presbyterian churches tax their followers a percentage of their monthly earnings as tithes, building fund, and so forth.

Underlying all work in God's vineyard, claiming that God needs money, prelates become more corrupt embezzlers than Biya's ministers. Cameroon ministers, be them church ministers or government ministers have a very fat appetite for money, property and the things of the world.

2013 was a landmark year in Cameroon as the Archbishop of Yaounde was fired for being worldlier than working for God's kingdom. Tonye Bakot is accused of selling church lands, properties and putting the money in his private accounts. He sold most lands around College de la Retraite.

Some Francophone apologists would charge me with targeted defamation because Tonye Bakot speaks their language. Perhaps they need to remind themselves of how often I have taken on His Grace, Archbishop Cornelius Fontem Esua of Bamenda for attempting to dispossess 300 Mbororo and grab their land. He also caused the administration to destroy 9 Bambili houses to create space for the resettlement of the Mbororo.

Tonye Bakot may also index Christian Cardinal Tumi from Kikaikilaki, North West Cameroon for leasing Catholic Land to PMUC in Douala. The discussions for this lease were public with church lawyers playing a key role. The account to which the money is paid is known and it does not go to Tumi's pockets like proceeds from church estates in Yaounde.

These greedy mass and wine servants once more need to be kicked out of church for transforming the house of God into a market. The birth of the money changers, the nemesis of social economics and equity! These church boys make it clear that if God's Kingdom was physical very few people will qualify for heaven.

Fon Christopher Achobang
Social Commentator, Human rights activist
Mbengwi County
The Cameroons
Tel, (237) 99365954
(237) 74211066