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21.04.2007 General News

Are Ghanaian men romantic?

By myjoyonline

One area of great interest in animal behaviour studies is courtship. While some birds are known to jump on tree branches for hours, displaying their ability and colourful feathers, others sing beautifully, build artistic nests and decorate them just to attract female partners.

It is also known that some animals stay as partners for life and continue to display their deep affection openly by gestures.

Love thrives on romance and without it our love life ceases to function. We show true identity and love through romance as we celebrate the mystery of two people becoming one flesh because romance connects lovers and confirms us as true lovers.

Romance and women

Romance is especially important to women because they identify themselves by their friendship, relationship and emotions. Women love warm, comforting and sharing relationships. They hunger for emotional connection, intimacy and love.

These can be found in small intangible and non-sexual activities like hugging, comforting words, holding hands or sharing quiet moments with a lover.

On the other hand, where romance is absent, a woman shows greater hurt and even depression. She detaches herself and her sexual attention decreases.

Are Ghanaian men romantic?

In all talks on relationships, our women complain that Ghanaian men are not romantic at all. Many add that anytime most Ghanaian men show signs of romance you can guess what they are after and that after getting it they slip back into their boring state. Many Ghanaian men appear to totally ignore their wives.

How many Ghanaian men hold their wives' hand as they cross the road or take a pleasure walk with their wives?

Why Ghanaian men are not romantic

Studies across the world indicate that most women in relationships feel they are not getting the kind of love they deserve. The situation is worsened in Ghana where traditional and cultural practices make it hard for men to show open affection by gestures.

A man is expected to associate with men and those who show open romantic gestures may be ridiculed. Some may even add that a spell has been cast on such men by their wives.

Thus at social meetings it is common to see husbands and wives sitting separately, with no communication. It appears almost a taboo for a Ghanaian man to show open affection to his wife. The cold attitude of Ghanaian men is more pronounced in those who grew up in broken homes or homes devoid of affection.

If such men never learnt how to show affection by reading or going through counselling, they find it extremely difficult to show affection to those they love. It is also known that most Ghanaian men are more interested in the sexual act and our tendency to link romantic act to sex is high. We don't know how to handle women.

We start relationships on wrong notes. It is money, mobile phones, physical materials in exchange for sex. Simple deal.

The way forward

A relationship without romance is not worth it. Women must know that no man is born romantic. It is the special treatment men get which opens them up to express their true love openly.

Hug frequently

Scientists tell us that hugging produces a chemical which sustains lasting relationships. We must spend quality time just to connect to ourselves as we speak words of appreciation, motivation, love, comfort, kindness, hope and acceptance.

Allow your wife to express herself and her emotions freely and remember to use the magic words - "I love you, thank you, sorry, you have been good to me."

In addition, you can create signs and terms understood only by the two of you. You can make your home romantic. Hang a family picture. You can listen to your favourite songs or watch films together as you share a drink.

A man can join his wife to cook and do other house duties. We can also send small gifts and love notes. A walk, a drink or weekend travels are helpful. Above all, we must be honest with ourselves and ensure that our actions are real and not deceit or flattery. This is because in some instances romance doesn't guarantee true love.

Fink, a relationship expert, asserts that all relationships require romance or they dry up. We must therefore oil our relationships with true romance as we show gratitude to our Maker that He put us together for the purpose of true unconditional love.

Credit: The piece was written by John Boakye and culled from The Mirror.