If you have children and are thinking of getting a divorce, this article if for you.
As I worked with Leah with Inner Bonding, she began to learn how to tune into her feelings and take responsibility for them. She learned how to recognize when she was abandoning herself through her self-judgments, through ignoring her feelings with her food and nicotine addictions, and through making Ronald responsible for her feelings with her anger, blame and withdrawal.
Within a few months of starting to work on herself and practice the 6 Steps of Inner Bonding, and with the support of the Inner Bonding membership community, Leah began to feel much happier. Because she was taking loving care of herself, she was able to speak her truth to Ronald with kindness rather than anger. She was able to tell him that when he was taking care of himself and in his power, she found him very attractive, but when he abandoned himself and was needy, she was very turned off to him.
Ronald, seeing the change in Leah, began to work with me to learn the Inner Bonding process. It didn't take him long to learn to take responsibility for his own feelings.
As a result of their Inner Bonding work to learn to stop abandoning themselves and blaming each other, and to learn how to take loving care of their own feelings, Leah and Ronald saved their marriage. They are now having fun together, enjoying their children together, learning together and supporting each other. Leah often finds herself turned on to Ronald.
Most of the couples that I work with are able to save their marriage, when that is what they want to do.
If you are having problems in your marriage, I encourage you to devote yourself to learning how to take responsibility for your own pain and your own joy through the practice of Inner Bonding. If you leave your relationship without learning this, you will take your controlling, compliant, needy, angry or blaming behavior with you. You will take your aloneness and emptiness with you. You will take your substance and process addictions with you, and you will likely create a similar relationship next time.
You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by learning how to take full, 100% responsibility for your own feelings, and you will be helping your children do the same. You will also give them a chance at growing up in an intact and loving family.