Breast Sucking... Rules Or No Rules

My Lord, when I go to church these days, my mind goes to only one thing- sucking the breasts of a sexy woman. Why? I see too many exposed breasts�the church girls seem to hide only the nipples these days.

The thought gives me a mild erection. Not the type that can adequately 'pump' a woman to satisfaction but certainly one that would give clear signals to any female that there is trouble in the offing.

My Lord, I cherish the breasts of my woman. I guard it diligently and do not allow thieves to go near it. I hear cats also enjoy milk a lot and for that reason I have never liked our cat in my bedroom.

That naughty cat has a lazy way of looking at my woman's naked breasts and I have always suspected it thirsts after the milk.

Pussy cats love milk and so do many people. But I prefer breast milk because of the statistics. One - no need to add sugar.

Two – no need to boil it or store it in a fridge. Three – pussy cats cannot steal it. Four – it is tax free. Five – it has no expiry date. Six – it is available in a beautiful packing and seven – when you buy one, you get another one for free.

My case is a simple one My Lord, that there should be rules about the sucking of the breasts of a woman.

I am not talking about some toothless toddler using his innocent gums to sap milk from the nipples.

What I am talking about here is the type of breast-sucking that is done by bearded men who are about to enjoy bearded meat. Did I hear someone say 'order in court?'

Rules are necessary here because an elderly friend of mine, Uncle Frank the Sexy Prophet, once told me that 'men never get weaned of breasts sucking and the older they grow, the more appetite they have for putting erected firm nipples in their mouths.'

My Lord, because there are no rules on breast-sucking, many men have rendered the breasts of their women useless and make them look like banana leaves or the leaves used in wrapping 'waakye'.

Just like an idiot friend of mine, Chuku, would to his wife before sex. Instead of taking his time, he just commands: 'Akos maame�.move to the bed.' He is a man of few words but a lot of actions. Once he enters the room, he inserts straight.

No curve, no bend. After the action, he leaves and orders a keg of palm wine to replace the lost fluid.

It has become public knowledge that some men do not pay attention to the breasts of their women.

They handle it 'rough, rough' and handle it for only a few minutes. What they forget is that the owner of the breasts also needs to be turned on by the sucking, thus it must be done passionately.

My Lord, let me share my experience on breasts sucking with this honorable court so we have a module sort of to follow.

I do not just grab and squeeze. I hold them gently and give her a breast massage. I make her lie on her back with her head on my lap.

Or she sits naked in front of me. I then cup her breasts and stroke them gently with rhythm. I move my finger anticlockwise on one breast and clockwise on the other.

My Lord, there is some level of heat in every man's palms so I cup the breasts in my palms and cover them with my hands as if I was using a microwave oven to warm them.

Once the nipples get firm and erected, I cup the breasts in my mouth and start a gentle pull and once in a while use my teeth faintly on the nipples.

There was this time fortune did not smile on me. An old girlfriend did not tell me she was a lactating mother when we got in bed.

I had gone through my ritual of breasts sucking and when I finally started my gentle pull, my entire mouth got filled with an acidic tasting breast milk.

But I am not the type who gives up easily. I could not swallow the contents and could also not move out of bed to spit it out because 'things were in things'. I kept it in my mouth and kept pounding my weight on top of her till the unexpected happened:

When I was about to climax, the orgasm got very high and I could not bear it any longer...I closed my eyes as my whole body went ablaze with passion�.I started to moan 'ahhhhh' just when I was releasing. Two things came out of me.

I rest my case for now.