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Dear Husband, Don't Pack Out...yet

By Helena Adutwumwaa Bonto
Dear Husband, Don't Pack Out...yet
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Husbands packing out of their matrimonial homes to be with other women for one reason or the other has always been there, but getting out of hand lately as social media and internet as a whole has made cheating even more easier.

Many times these husbands who PACK-OUT on their wives and children out of the blue regret their actions and want to PACK-BACK-IN years after when they have 'smelt pepper'.

But do today's men learn from the mistakes and wrong moves of those men?

Hmmmm I must say that it is extremely saddening and worrying to hear and read about a number of wives whose husbands have packed-out of their matrimonial homes to be with another woman in recent times.

As a married woman whose husband hasn't left but who has been through a serious marital challenge before, I wish such women nothing but the Love of God, Patience, Comfort, Calmness in their spirit, and of course Love again.

As a 'Counselor' counselling and helping guide a lot of family and friends deal with their marital and family issues, and as a married woman myself, I have these to say about men leaving their matrimonial homes to be with other women.

Most of these men (through no fault of theirs) are;

1. Immature and Impatient: By observation, many men are immature and impatient in family affairs, especially when children come in. Personally, even as a woman, I go through so much stress taking care of my own children. And it is worse for many men. Going to work and coming home to meet a 'chaotic' house stresses one so much. So many times you see the husband venting his anger, tiredness, and frustration on the wife. They criticize their wives for the tiniest of things, and that leads to quarrels and fights many times. These lead to some men seeking for 'peace and tranquillity' in other women. So they start to keep late nights and eventually want to move in or elsewhere with those 'single-childless' women with 'neat and peaceful' homes.

When they don't read or get counsel or guidance about patenting and managing stress, they get overwhelmed and carried away by anything that seems to give them less stress- ( and that is actually just for now).

Patience and learning on the job (being a husband and a father) is key. Husbands should try to understand children automatically bring a 'chaotic' exhaustive difference in the home. Yes, children are blessing from God but raising them is never an easy task. You will learn to shout, scream, spank, punish, separate fight, resolve issues, etc once in a while. You will also most like not be able to go straight to bed like you used a bachelor or new husband without children. You will be meeting the house with toys and books scattered all around your house, your TV smashed or sprayed with water and screen blinking, your laptop or desktop screen smashed or keyboard parts scattered, and so on.

Don't take it on your wife. Don't get too stressed-out. Don't take it too personal. Don't vent your anger and frustration on your wife - after they are your children too, and you also take pride in telling your friends and family how you have a son or daughter or two.

Be patient. They will soon grow and stop the mess.

If anything, love and appreciate your wife for being the vessel through which God blessed you with those children you love and are proud to show off.

2. Dwelling on the so-called faults of their wives, aka "She is growing too fat, she was slim when I married her". "She nags".

It is absurd for any man or woman to think that a woman will carry another human in her body, go through hormonal changes nine solid months, go through delivery, breastfeed, take care of a vulnerable baby 24/7, have sleepless nights, etc and still look the same as she was 'when you married her'. The other woman you have turned your attention to and looking at now with fresher and slimmer looks will bloat too and have her children scatter the house too when you have them with her. She won't always look like this.

Until a man comes to terms with the fact that that is highly possible, men will continue leaving their homes for fresher and slimmer child-less women and all their efforts and years of building a family will be wasted.

It's a pity for any husband to think that it is only the wife whose years will be wasted and will suffer when they leave them, Men also do cry- when they go and hit the rocks.

"She likes nagging"? About what? Your keeping late nights? Finding solace in everything in skirt apart from her? Drinking excessively? Wasting money on unnecessary things without thinking about your family and your pension years?

I bet no woman likes to nag about unimportant things.

Many times the insticts of women are accurate.

And oh! personally if I would nag my husband for keeping late nights and chasing anything in skirt, that would be for his own safety from robbery attack, contracting STDs, getting someone pregnant, or finding himself in some kind of trouble.

What many husbands do not know nor appreciate is the fact that their wives watch their backs for them. No woman want her husband in any kind of trouble, after all WE ARE ONE. Ɛkawo a na aka me. So if you feel your wife nags you a lot, CHANGE YOUR WAYS! it is for your own good and safety.

And if you think packing out to go be with another woman is your best bet, WAIT UNTIL THE OTHER WOMAN HAS A STAKE IN YOUR LIFE, AND SHE WILL ALSO START NAGGING YOU TO SAFETY.

If she doesn't nag you when you are going wrong or overboard, she doesn't love you ENOUGH!

P.S. About 90% of men who leave their homes because of other women regret it after some time. Mostly when they're penniless or bedridden or face some kind of trouble or when those women eventually show their true colours.

Are you going to pack out of the other woman's house when she also starts stressing you🤔?

How many women would you have packed out on by the time you are old and grey? What will your like be like?

Think about these if you are planning to pack out, receive wisdom, and change your ways.

And if you have already packed out, may you receive the wisdom of God and have a change of heart.


Counselor Adutwumwaa