I am a lastborn. Last in a family of six. As known of many lastborns they are hardly responsible for other members of the family but everyone is responsible for them. Can we blame them? They usually enjoy assorted support from parents, siblings, and everyone in the family. This ‘pampering’ sometimes gets the better part of lastborns.
I wasn’t so much of an exception even though my situation was so different. My family tried to prevent the ‘benefits’ of being lastborn get in my head but nature and socialisation would not allow me to fully adhere. In simple words, my family tried to ensure I don’t become a swollen headed irresponsible last son and I’m sure their efforts didn’t go waste.
Throughout my life and in most endeavours people have seen leadership and other talents in me. For whatever reasons friends, schoolmates, teachers, and family have mostly identified something in me I wasn’t so sure about. In primary school, I was almost always the choice for class prefect.
When I was moved from my hometown’s public school to a private school in Kumasi to continue junior secondary school, my mates 'forced' the class prefect position on me in spite of my unreadiness and disinterest. Actually I joined them in JSS 2 so I was surprised how and why I was their choice. There were ‘better’ choices, I guessed; but my mates wouldn’t agree so I accepted the challenge and literally struggled my way through it.
In senior secondary school, I had been tipped for class prefect and school prefect positions among others. But this time I was ‘bold’ enough to reject the school prefect position after handling the class prefect position for some terms. I had developed some passion for computers so the computer lab was my dormitory.
My point here? I tactically swerved several opportunities to develop myself in several facets of life. One reason for this could be that I wasn’t confident about my abilities or didn’t even know those abilities existed. Another explanation may be that I was afraid of failure. In a nutshell I failed in all those years as far as developing myself is concerned.
Enough of the background, let me go straight to the point. I have learned my lessons over the years and have realized that my capabilities (and I’m certain yours too) are unbelievably unlimited. The only thing that limits our capabilities are our own thoughts and beliefs.
What people usually think and believe they cannot do are usually things they are not comfortable doing. Not things they really cannot do! In my experience of trying out new things and motivating others to do same I have come to the realisation that few things fall beyond the ability of those who prepare and persevere. And even for those who do not exactly prepare, doing or trying out something sets the preparatory stage for something totally different.
Laziness, complacency, and irresponsibility tend to coil us into our comfort zones and prevent us from doing or trying out things we think we cannot do. I’m not saying everyone should be a jack of all trades and master of none. I mean never say never unless you won’t. You have the choice.
Albert Einstein notes that “The important thing is not to stop questioning [your seeming weaknesses and inequities]. Curiosity has its own reason for existence. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery each day."
I read somewhere that discipline means doing what needs to be done when and how it has to be done whether we feel like it or not. And F. M. Alexander notes that “people do not decide their futures, they decide their habits and their habits decide their futures.” By cultivating the 'right' habits, eschewing laziness, and accepting responsibility nothing could be beyond our reach.
No dream, career, skill, knowledge, ability, activity, task, decision, and so on would seem impossible or unachievable. But it all begins with preparation and discipline which eventually culminate in the development of right habits and self-confidence.
We're in a part of the world where confidence is misinterpreted as arrogance, smartness confused with stubbornness, laziness rewarded in unnecessary religiosity, and change doused by blind respect for culture.
Clearly, the forces against creativity, innovation, and change are more than the attempts at them. It is therefore important for anyone who wants to change to admit the opposition and work at surpassing them. That's all that change is about!
I end with a quote from John F. Kennedy: “Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.” It’s never too late until we want it to be. You were born for bigger, better things so don’t limit yourself. Challenge yourself, learn, explore, learn, and learn; be the best version of yourself.
Mustapha Bin Usman
Writer | Entrepreneurship expert | Entrepreneur | Farmer | Trainer | Teacher
Email: [email protected]
Contact/ WhatsApp: 0246134798
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