What If I Told You That You Failed Because You Were The Best?

Would you believe me if I told you that things are not right in your life because nothing is wrong with you? As a job seeker, would you believe me when I tell you that you lost the interview because you were the best candidate even for future big positions in that company?

As a hardworking and disciplined person, would you understand me when I tell you that everything seems to be wrong in your life because you are doing everything the right way?

If you are an entrepreneur, would you believe me when I tell you that you did not get the funding because you had a life transforming idea and the best business proposal?

I know it’s hard to believe, but it can be the truth which can save you from anxiety, heartbreak and suicidal thoughts.

Have you ever noticed that countries that have an abundance of the most precious natural resources are quite often poor and sometimes war-ridden? Do you think there is anything inherently wrong with those countries? The answer is NO. It’s just a Resource Curse!

The resource curse phenomenon as described by some thinkers helps us to see that sometimes you are prevented from fully benefitting from your natural endowments by those who are unscrupulous enough to unjustly benefit from you. You are made to suffer for being excellent

Such resource rich countries which are poor and quite often at war are just like you, there is nothing wrong with them except their abundance of precious resources, in the same way that your giftedness and abilities rather than your weaknesses has made your life difficult.

In my published poetry anthology called General Emeritus –Wisdom, Mysteries and Dark Sayings, there is a poem titled My Beautiful Weakness.

This poem narrates how sometimes things go wrong because of the positive qualities which you possess than vice versa as shown in stanza 1 and 6.

It is meant to give me joy, it is meant to bring me glory

But what shall I call it when it repels that which I must attract?

Shall I not then say my strength is my weakness? A beautiful weakness for that matter?

Yes, it makes me beautiful but it also makes me stressful

Yes, it makes me to stand out, and yet, it also automatically gets me cast out

Surely, what shall I call my gift, when it endangers the very life that it must promote?

Shall I not then say my beauty is my weakness? A beautiful weakness for that matter!

You must understand that, in some environments, it’s dangerous to be the best at what you do whether through effort or natural giftedness because you disrupt the status quo, and interfere with the balance of power, and hence, the resistance you encounter in all your endeavors.

In a book which I wrote titled, Managing Your Gift, I explain that your gift can be described as your Natural Adaptive Advantage, especially, if it helps you to easily adapt and to make progress or to prosper in a given environment or situation.

I further explained in the same book that, when your gift is developed, it is important that you know how to price it and then look for environments and people whose inadequacies may be solved by such giftedness that you possess.

As such, when you believe that you are doing everything right and yet you continue to move from one tragedy to another, you must not rush to blame yourself but you should rather consider changing the environment.

Unlike a country which cannot move from one place to another, you are free enough to look for new environments where your abilities are well sought after with minimum competition since there is likely to be less use of dirty tricks in achieving your goals in such areas.

In another book which I wrote, titled, The Hidden Hand Influence, I explain that sometimes, we end up being in certain unfortunate situations not exactly by accident or misfortune, but as a result of purely calculated decisions and actions by some unscrupulous people around us.

You must therefore understand that the display of your natural giftedness or your mere ability to change the status-quo can dim the shine of some people who want to enjoy the limelight alone and hence the perennial sabotage which continues to rain in your life.

For example, as an entrepreneur, when you bring a better or superior product (service) to the market, it means that in most of the cases, you are going to interfere with the one who was offering an inferior product and thus there is an automatic shift in the power dynamics.

As such, you need to exercise caution in the pursuit of your dreams by analysing people and circumstances that may interfere with your success before you commit resources, energy and time to any project since the failure to do so will always bring you untold suffering.

Indeed, we still live in a wonderful world, but in it, also roams some unscrupulous people who may secretly undermine the full utilization of your abilities to such an extent that you may not even benefit from your gift and end up thinking there is something wrong with you.

You must always remember that you are qualified enough to occupy your own space and make a difference in your own life but sometimes things do not go according to your expectations because you naively believe that everyone is excited to see you win in this world.

According to Desiderata, a piece of wisdom that I was recommended to read by Priviledge Matizanadzo, you have to be cautious in your engagements with anyone and you must be gentle with yourself.

“Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let not this blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere, life is full of heroism.

…..Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.” - Desiderata

As such, in order to help you in making critical decisions about whatever you are going through even in the most trying times, I have developed a Smart Decision Toolkit called The Fundamental Congruence Checklist adapted from The Smart Decision Handbook.

This checklist helps us to be an objective and open minded thinker who make better decisions and take informed action about any issue under the sun.

The Fundamental Congruence Checklist is basically made up of a set of ten questions which helps you to process the information which you have about any subject in order for you to understand it better so that you can make informed decisions in life.

It is a multi-versatile decision making tool which can be used to gauge the relevance, effectiveness and impact of anything in life through answering the following ten questions:

1. What is this thing? Who is this person?
2. What does he/she/it do and how? – What are the key result areas or objectives and how are they accomplished?
3. Why does he/she/it do so? – Why are those the key result areas, objective or purpose?
4. What happens if he/she/it does do not anything or does not perform as expected?
5. Where is this thing or person situated in the whole matrix – what position does he/she/it occupy?
6. Why is he/she/it situated there? – Why is he/she/it occupying that space?
7. What happens if he/she/it is completely removed, moved somewhere, misplaced or even altered?
8. Who is in charge of him/her/it and why? – Who makes he/she/it work as planned?
9. How is his/her/its effectiveness assessed? - How do I or other people know if he/she/it is effective or not?
10. What happens if he/she/it is effective or not – What are the related consequences?

By using a Congruence Checklist, you will be able to clearly define the purpose and effectiveness of anything, and then determine its relevance and interconnectedness to other things which are dear to you in life before you commit your energy, time and resources to it.

When you don’t ask yourself these ten questions, you are most likely to make impulsive decisions out of emotions (excitement) and do things that are very costly and regrettable.

The ten questions in the Congruence Checklist gives you a broader perspective of anything you can think of when you want to make a decision on a certain matter.

Brian Kazungu is an Author, Media Practitioner and a Technology Enthusiast. He has written and published several books covering various aspects of human life including leadership, entrepreneurship, politics, personal development as well as poetry and travel.

These books are found on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/author/briankazungu