The period of life known as singleness, which everyone goes through, has been portrayed as a monster. Many singles have been led to believe that their situation is a disease, comparable to cancer, colds and flu, heart disease, tuberculosis, and ulcers, and that it is useless, depressing, and embarrassing. They are even led to believe that the term “Singleness” implies “Brokenness” – that because you are single, you are broken and incomplete – and they thus require fixing.
Singles, very often, are stereotyped as miserable, lonely, and loveless. They are also generally considered immature and unsuited for certain jobs and positions in society, the workplace, and even in the religious settings. The media, including television, radio, books, magazines, journals and films, and the society portray singleness as abnormal. They all imply that singles must take measures to find a cure to their “problem” by getting married, or at the very least, enter a committed relationship. Because of this, single people are under a lot of unnecessary pressure to discover the love of their life.
A single person, on the contrary, is total and complete. Single people are not ill – their state is not a disease – and marriage is not the cure to it. This is not meant to downplay the significance of marriage, but to underline the fact that marriage is not the ultimate, and that being single can still result in being very responsible, valuable, and content.
Purpose of Singleness
Many contend that being single is never a good thing because God declared, "It is not good for the man to be alone." In accordance with His wisdom, God created Adam and Eve in separate states of singleness before bringing them into each other's lives. This was for a purpose!
Perhaps you should consider why you are in rather than constantly seeking to escape your singleness.
1. Singleness is a time to plan and prepare for the next stage of life: The next stage of life after singleness is a hectic period with its own responsibilities and challenges. The stage of singleness is the time for you to make all the necessary plans and preparations you need to, so that you are ready and avoid being caught off guard.
2. Singleness is a time to build a better you: Singleness is a time for personal growth and development. Instead of preoccupying yourself with finding the man or woman you want to marry, use this season to focus on becoming the person God wants you to be for a spouse. It's the ideal time to develop your personal principles, values and philosophies and start living by them now with all the "spare" time you have. This will make you a better mate when your “Mr. or Mrs. Right” comes along.
3. Singleness is a time to draw closer to God: A humble heart understands that being single is a chance to grow closer to God, to become more like Him, and to comprehend his purpose and plan for both singleness and marriage. Your ability to resist sin and avoid letting someone else into your mess increases as you get closer to God. While God uses marriage to sanctify us, He also uses singleness to save us suffering and consequences and to keep us from bringing other people down.
The Blessings of Singleness
The belief that being single is a "disease" stems from the idea that getting married is the only way to become "complete" and realize your full identity. Indeed, it is the case since such individuals only notice the negatives. Perhaps they should put on a positive magnifying glass to notice the numerous wonderful advantages and benefits about being single.
1. Undivided attention for God: There is no denying that single people who want to serve God can devote themselves to His mission more effectively than married people. Without interruptions or restrictions, they serve the Lord by working and traveling everywhere. Paul, the apostle, in 1 Corinthians 7:32–34, made some very wise observations.
2. Freedom and Independence: If you are single, you have greater freedom and flexibility. It allows for more spontaneity in your life. If you want to take a weekend road trip, you can make that decision independently on the spur of the moment. Being single allows you to be your true self and do what you wish. It allows you to make your own choices.
3. Time: We live in quite a busy society. You frequently hear people lamenting their lack of time, and this is undoubtedly true. Most likely, these people aren’t singles. You have complete control over how you spend your time when you are single. Compared to a married individual, being single may allow you more time for leisure activities, socializing with friends and family, participating in charitable endeavours, volunteering in your community, developing your potentials, pursuing your dreams and interests, and other opportunities.
4. Money: In addition to time, relationships require money, and a lot of it. Being single gives you full financial independence, allowing you to spend your money as it pleases you without making consultations. Nevertheless, being single or not is not an excuse to be irresponsible with your money; you still need to make responsible financial decisions and judgments. As a single person, you will have enough for yourself, to save and invest, and be generous to those who are in need. Intriguingly, research shows that singles are more charitable towards friends and family than those who are married, and that generosity declines after marriage.
5. Self-awareness and Development: Being single allows you to build a whole identity – a deeper understanding of who you really are, the freedom to be yourself and the ability to develop into who you really are – rather than someone as defined by a relationship. It "forces" you to take care of yourself, including cooking and doing the dishes, laundry and cleaning, which is especially true for guys. The ability to be skilled at different things makes you a more complete, independent, and well-rounded person, which is a great quality to have, and one that will be appreciated if you decide to seek a relationship later.
Though marriage has many lovely and beautiful benefits, it isn't any better than being single, as any open-minded married person will tell you. It has its special challenges too. Simply said, it is a transition from one set of blessings and challenges to another. And many objective married folks will probably concur that there are occasions when they wish they could still enjoy the benefits singles experience.
As best put by John Piper: "Both marriage and singleness present us with unique trials and opportunities for our sanctification. There will be unique rewards for each, and which is greater will not depend on whether you were married or single, but on how you responded to each.”
Your self-worth as a single is not dependent on the opinions of others. It is about you and even more what God thinks of you. Your marital status is not a factor in determining your value before God. Live a contented, satisfied and fulfilled single life. And remember, the better you get at being single, the better you will be in a relationship!