My deepest self-reflections come when I slowly bring the bowl of “Hausa Koko to my lips and narrow my eyes as I stare far into the distance of thought.
While performing this ritual today, I mused over the many friendships that I have ended over the years.
I watched with imaginative grief at the slain friendships decorating my past.
Many were rightfully cut short due to their level of toxicity, lack of value or manipulative tendencies.
Today I took the time to ponder the friendships I ended due to a very common plague that I’m sure has ended many of your friendships.
And that’s what you’re not willing to swallow. So instead, you succumb to the urge to do something drastic to make yourself feel in control. You fail to see the bigger picture.
People have their own stage to perform on, honey. Think about it, you wake up, yawn, brush your teeth, have breakfast, go to work, meet some assholes who threaten to ruin your mood, go for meetings and discuss your ideas with your team, have lunch, browse your Facebook feed and pause on my rant because I spit good prose once in a while, casually glance through your messages but not reply any of them, go watch a movie with friends, actually live. Think about all that, and think of Exhibit A, imagine that he/she does the same. We’re all trying to live our lives, make a point out of our existence. We’re all worried about when we’re three years older if we’ll still be the same as we are right now. We’re all whisking a pen in our mental hand or physical hand, writing down goals and game plans to achieve said goals.
Then, at different points of time in each of our lives, we get some downtime. When we’re tired, staring at the ceiling, drinking a cup of beverage actually not “Hausa Koko” lol, staring at the waves of the beach in a Google picture because we’re too lazy or don’t have the resources to go to the physical place… We remember friends then. We remember how good the conversation was the last time we talked to them. We wonder how they’re doing. We wonder if they still are doing the same business they told you about. The only problem is, this happens at different times for each person. Sometimes, downtimes coincide. But there is a time when while Exhibit A gets his/her downtime, you’re far away furthering executing your game plan. And when you get downtime, Exhibit A is back on his/her grind. Instead of spending that downtime to mark against the calendar how long THEY have not thought about you, get a pin. Like right now. Grab a pin and slowly sink it into your ego. Is it hurt yet? Good, then you’ll be just fine when your ego gets bruised as you enter the “I’m first to say hi every time” mode. Find out how they’re doing. If they’re doing good. If they’re doing bad. Find out how their life is going. And when they hit you up, repeat the process with the pin and this time, sink it into your nose that automatically turns itself up when you see a message from a person you have not heard from in a while.
The point I am gently trying to make here is that people live some chapters of their lives in which you have not been listed as a character. It can be a friend, a best friend, or a life partner. Some chapters must be lived alone. And that should be something that you should be okay with.
Enough of the writing off of people from your lives. It is important to protect your energy and cut off people who are bad for it but do not sever ties with wonderful hearts just because they’re living. When you happen to float into their minds and they say hi, say hi back. Have a conversation. And then get back on your grind. Make the most out of whatever time you have. Don’t wait to give a heart-tugging eulogy about how nice they were. Let your intuition lead.
My “Hausa Koko” is cold now. I think I’m coming down from my high. Bye.
PS. Exhibit A, I miss you. I'll hit you up with a heart-tugging message and we'll both cry. Or I'll cry. Either way, I'll spam you.
Article written by: Osei Agyemang Rajon
Facebook: Osei Agyemang Rajon