He Wants To Leave Me

I am 29 and my boyfriend is 35. We've been in a relationship for the past eight years. He is my first guy and I love him a lot.

He has two kids with another lady and that has been a source of worry for me.

Sometimes I ask him whether he will marry the two of us because of all the time he gives the other lady but he has assured me that I am the only woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

I'm someone who doesn't like sex and he always has to force me before I give in. I've told him it is a sign from God that we are not meant to be together and this looks like being proven right because lately the messages that I've been seeing on his phone tells me he is dating another girl.

I have confronted him but he has denied it. He has now turned around and told a friend of mine that when he needs me, I don't make myself available and that I should change my behaviour because he can't marry me with that attitude.

I feel he just wants an excuse to leave me. I really love him and I don't want to lose him. 

Mercy, Accra

Dear Mercy, are you sure you do not want to lose your man? It seems you guys are just not compactible. He likes sex and you don't and he has to virtually force you to get it.

I guess this has taken a toll on him and he just doesn't want to know. No wonder he is satisfying his desires elsewhere. You can't blame him.

I want to know if you are the type who frowns on sex before marriage or you just do not enjoy it.

If you are the former, then you will have problems since your man would want to make love to you. Thus you will have to date someone on the same wave length.

If you subscribe to the latter who do not enjoy sex then how do you expect to play your role as a wife when you get married?

Well, all I can say is that you should be yourself. If you do not want to have sex, you should not allow anyone to force you into it. It is your body and you have a say in what you want done to it.