THE CASE OF POLITICAL TREPIDATION, CONFIRMATIONS AND DENIALS; ROMEOLEAKS GOES SATIRE

Expected but annoyingly, l have become the talk of town. Market women, taxi drivers, Rasta men beating their Nayabingi drums and chanting down Babylon in a cloudy style, beautiful ladies with heavy 'bottoms' looking for the souls of men to devour, political pundits and connoisseurs spinning and doctoring at their usual best and many a people also got disturbed and excited.lt is a mix bag of feelings, interpretations and reasons all sniffing on the likileaks flu

Some have opined and expressed concerns about my height. Even Efo Zaccheaus ,was it not for the kindest intervention of the Sycamore tree, he wouldn't have seen the Messiah . Look, Napoleon Bonaparte's height was no different from mine, his father Carlo Bonaparte was a lawyer and a political animal just like my dad, seen the connection? D. Coffie of FONKOR, that danger boy is no different either. l met Paul at Corinth on his way to Thessalonica the other day,Peter is by all standards taller than him.We are all fearfully ,wonderfully and uniquely crafted .Discussions about my height as a prerequisite for my qualification to the throne is best defined as pedestrian, moot, whimsical and capricious. Kudos to Kyei Amisah ,the man is doing well oooo, just that his verbosity is unparallel .Please tell him that vocabs don't make laws and pass bills. Well, he is eloquent and smart though.

l love listening to Joseph Hill's “lnternational herb”, Lucky Dube's “ Rasta man's Prayer” and Bob Kwabena Marley's “Kaya”. These songs lift up my soul every morning and evening. Can you conclude that just for the mere fact that my friend Delwin loves country music, he automatically becomes a country boy and loves anything associated with it? lt doesn't add up folks. The two are parallel lines, they can never meet.This is way too ridiculous

Professor Kwasi Onim , my good friend and adviser. Vividly remember how you advised me against adorning myself in the whiteman's dress over our traditional damba and tie and dye during the last year's Assembly elections , of which l stubbornly refused to heed. You must sympathize with me my good friend because l schooled outside this country notably Oxford University. l got very used to their style of dressing .Did l just say l went to Oxford? Well, well, well let's move on. Why did you tell that obroni boy from Obamaland that l like gathering and burning the refuse in the neighbourhood ? l had wanted to make you take over from Gbevlo Martey after my victory but l swear u no go get, you talk too much even though you stammer sometimes .,Woa ye me adea aye miya, to wit,you have caused me great pain. Well l have spoken with the Deutchland watchmen, everything is under control

Recollecting all those special moments we both played major roles in our gutter to gutter demonstrations . Madamfo Kwaku Pratt , why you do me so? You claimed you always see nimbo cumulus clouds around my house every time you visit me, can you swear to the gods of Kwaku Bosam that you didn't inhale some too? Don't push me to the wall ok? lf you don't want to say masa, masa, masa then please shut up if not…..

Can someone please tell The Youngest Patriots to stop their useless and amateurish politicking?. They can misbehave for all l care but definitely not this time round when the likileaks flu is spreading in my direction negatively. Do you guys personally type the words in your press releases, l doubt very much. lf Uncle Atta gets sore throat, let him take original hacks and tom tom for effective relief . His case far differs from mine. You guys have angered Adzo Kum Boafo and that little boy Felix Foli to pour their acidic invectives on me by quoting likileaks. Whats the relevance of all the noise when all you guys do is ranting, puffing, raving, and huffing over the airwaves. Do you guys like Sensimenia ? But you Patriots should take heart, l will take them through the court yard when we are finally enthroned . l pray Tsatsu ,the ant doesn't crawl in there.

Don't mind these third rate diplomats from Obamaland in our dear Sikakrom. Did you know that his new name is Obomber Osama? The man is busily bombing Faddafi's oil farm under the deceit of exporting kabi na mi kabi ,to wit,Democrazy. The man is not one of us, he is as white as the White House. l would cut diplomatic ties with them when l win the upcoming Assembly elections. Henceforth, l cease to speak like them , they can take all their slangs away for all l care!!!!

As for my cousin Ghandi Darko, l have continuously told him to change the name to Darko-Busy-Bobo lnstitute. l like his nicely shaved ,rounded and trimmed beard, especially the dotted grey hairs in there. l like his smiles too just that sometimes his articles and effusions bring me so much discomfort. Did l hear Okomfo say that Abyssinia has no home for visionless leadership ? Arrrghh!!!!!! This man paaaaaa!!!! If only he knew why l did not win last year's Assembly elections , he wouldn't dare mention that. l suffered because of him.

Hmmm Sir Jonas too is some way. His performance can best be labeled as stultisfying .Cambodia Tony now owns a printing firm. l hear he printed some ahoukyere wears calling the Asomdwehene names. Unproductive exercise if you asked me but l very much understand him too, Desperation is the definition. Who doesn't know Egyaa Atta is snake under grass. Just recollecting how we both went to the ladies hall when we were on campus. l admired his style of preaching to the ladies back then, he always topped up the Gospel with a warm hand shake and a holy kiss .Then one thing led to another and another. We both had secrets you know? Honestly he even………….nope l won't say it, this is not suitable for public consumption folks. l learned this from Kwaku Pratt

You have forgotten so soon that Ohene Akoto's wife used Aban's bungalow for her shito business .Torshie in Community 9 gave me two balls of original Ga kenkey last weekend when l visited her, l really enjoyed it with the shito. Please don't doubt me because the shito was clean and there was no foreign matter inside. Definitely not the kind we used to enjoy those days in school. l am forced to explain all these intoto because you people always suspect me.

Many a people did not understand our Saviour Jesus simply because he most often spoke in parables. Likening HIM to me wouldn't be out of place . This E.P. Priest from Ho Kpotame thinks l am blaspheming but it's far from that. When l said “all die be die” l was actually talking about we leaving peacefully in Sikakrom. The propaganda boys from the Slave House at the seashore twisted and toasted my otherwise peaceful exhortations . Well, l don't envy them one bit when l hear their sounds of decibels , their horizons would have been broaden if they were leaving in the Jubilee Palace .

Let me take this opportunity to officially express my gratitude to Naa Bedie Ottoo who had gone all the way to Abrokyrie to bring evidence to somehow exonerate me over the many allegations hanging over my head. The fire was almost quenching when likileaks exploded. Ooooh Likileaks. please stop leaking.

Mr J.H. Ansah was also indicted in the likileaks for using the HAPIC cash for buying wines, fried rice, allowances for serial callers etc, wondering whether he gave some to the legal people oo.This Octogenarian paaaa!!! l would have asked for his prosecution but for his age. Sammy also inflated contracts at the Nkrumah Airways and shared them among the Crab family and cronies, he personally awarded himself too. ls this not naked corruption? Paapa Ajasco too was mentioned ooo, he didn't wear his goggle when appended his signature to the deal. That must have explained it,sakawaa company paaa!!!!!! But hey,likileaks also had an expose on Daada J,hmmmmmmm. The man was a former trained and respected Gbadagba so l wouldn't be surprised if we both have similar interests and hobbies, just saying!!!

Who is this Ataa Someone here on Faceblock? l here she talks and writes about me daily on her wall. Please don't attack her ,you all know l am a feminist. But don't you worry because ladies like her kind admire me a lot, they don't care doing just anything to catch my attention. They are the source of most of my headaches. They simply admire me with addiction and class, l just don't know why.

Someone please tell Kweku Mienu that he is simply fantastic. l was so elated when l heard him say the people of Sikakrom should not overrate the contents of the Likileaks. Lante Nii will definitely not buy that .l hear he threw stones at his people in a meeting recently held.Someone please tell him the people of Sikakrom have no relations with Yasser Arafat's land. You should not be bewildered if Mr.Mienu Documentation has documents that suggest otherwise about the releases in the Likileaks. Hail the man, he will prove them wrong soon. Just check his records on the CNTKI competition.

Becoming the Assemblyman for Sikakrom is a prophesy that has to be fulfilled. lf you care to know it is also my birth right .My opponents sense a miasma of defeat hanging over my head in this year's Assembly elections . Tofiakwa!!!!. And who says l am going to retire even if l lose the elections? Ha? How old is Norbert Gambe of Rhodesia? Just do the additions and subtractions and draw your conclusions .

Where is Osikani Belebele Kentucky Agyei Oppong? Likileaks says he and the former headman of Sikakrom used Saturday Night Powder to make money,but how? Are they magicians? But Osikani Belebele has since not utter a bull before even mimimg shit,hmmmmm nsem wo world ooo!! For all these while l thought he had two of the things in between his legs, thanks to Likileaks l now know he only has one testis in his voku. Interesting how men become women this days. But that man is a hard worker, all those doing the hating must stop it now. Shame on you all

Kudos to the guys at Emoney, they are thinking well with the tank Mawu gave them. They sometimes make a lot of sense to me, such displays of intelligence and knowledge on every facet of the economy. How l wish they can officially identify themselves with us. l don't even know what is stopping them, they must stop dragging their feet and do the honourable thing. Someone please tell Kodzo Frankie and Bright Amos that l will need their services to fixing this ahoukyere economy if l finally become the Assemblyman of Sikakrom. With their able support and Aku Kwartey, we can achieve a 1% digit inflation without the help of the Sikakrom Statistics School (S.S.S)

Likileaks is destructive,retrogressive,abusive,insultive, confusiontive-is there any word like that? Likileaks is all the negative sives and tives folks. Treat its contents with all the vehemence at your disposal.l hear Julian Asante is in prison somewhere,it serves him right. Was he given a life sentence?

Romeo Koku Dowokpor
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