Getting A Ghana Card For Jesus

WARNING: this poem has children’s content 
Which may offend many adults. 
This poem is about how to officially hand over your brain.
It will show you how to save your thoughts into folders,
And where to go for thought-rations 
When you run out of thought-coupons
So, you can think properly in Ghana. 
It is about how we garner
Fellow Ghanaians into a thinking box 
That is outside any cultural shocks.

This poem is about saving our minds
From the season’s reasoning
So, we can think alike 
And march forward
In all ways backward
Into the glorious past 
So, we make our nation 
Great and wrong.
This poem is about getting a Ghana Card for Jesus
Before the official deadline
So, we can extend the timeline
Of his lifeline 
For our online and offline 
Services and businesses.

It is about getting a Ghana Card for Jesus 
So, he can touch our hearts and raise money 
To find accommodation for his father
At Ridge in Accra.

This poem is about getting a Ghana Card for Jesus 
So, he can teach our country how to walk on water 
During the Annual Festival of Flood Waters in our Capital,
And glorify his name in the National Cathedral.

This poem is about getting a Ghana Card for Jesus
So, he can finally lift that loin cloth 
And show us the hammer in his Jewish tool box 
And its manufacturer’s manual
That contains instructions 
And examples of all the 
Proper and improper 
Nouns of names and games
And life choices and voices
Of genders whose agendas
Engender or endanger 
Our nation’s health and safety.

This poem is about getting a Ghana Card for Jesus
So, he can download for parliament 
And our contemporary pharisees,
A new app that monitors and sees
Where we put our fingers, 
Whose rod and staff our pussycats must properly play with, 
All spelt out with utmost clarity,
So fellow Ghanaians, out of Christian charity
Shall once and for all, 
Be able to key in anybody’s name 
And travel back into time on their lifeline, 
And scoop all the stray sperm 
From the legs and eggs of mothers 
Whose gifts from God will not become straight.
This poem is about getting a Ghana Card for Jesus
So, he can understand 
The Twi Bible 
The Twi prophets 
Their Profits 
And their prophecies and processes
And procedures and pronouncements
And projects and their powers,
And show him how to lift up holy hands 
And dance properly to the noise 
We make in his father’s house.

This poem is about getting a Ghana Card for Jesus
So, he can use it to travel to Germany
As Africa’s first e-passport 
To do us the honors and present Josef Goebbels 
With the prestigious Bawumia Award
For Lies and Propaganda.

This poem has children’s content 
And may offend many adults. 

By Amarkine Amarteifio. Copyright.14th June 2022. 
[email protected]