Dear Nana Ama,
We were friends for almost two years and we had plans of getting married. We are both gainfully employed and although I still live with my parents, he lives in his own rented accommodation.
My boyfriend introduced me to his parents and he encouraged me to do the same.
My mother in particular liked him a lot and she was very nice to him, doing everything she could to make him feel welcome any time he called at our place.
He asked me about three months ago to ask for the list of items we needed to buy for our marriage ceremony which I did and we started acquiring those items.
We had not quarrelled or had any major challenges during our friendship so when I learnt last month that he had married and even had a wedding ceremony in another region, I could not believe my ears because I was seeing him regularly.
I tried to call him to find out the truth. His line was switched off for a while and later when I got through to him, he refused to pick my calls. I used another number to call him later and he picked it up.
When I confronted him, he confirmed he was indeed married and Nana, I nearly died. I’m still hurting and my heart is broken.
My parents, siblings and friends have all been very supportive providing me a shoulder to weep on, but I just don’t know how to make the pain go away.
One of the best ways to begin mending a broken heart is to talk about it.
Talking about the pain you feel helps in accepting the reality of the situation while guiding you along in the healing process.
I’m glad you are not trying to heal your broken heart all by yourself and that you are willing to accept support from your family and friends.
Continue to talk about your pain to those who care about you.
By pouring out your broken heart to those who care about you most, you will be speeding up the healing process.
Then also, I’ll suggest that you try to forgive the young man who has so hurt you, because there is an amazing power of healing in forgiving someone who has wronged you.
When you consciously decide to forgive him from your heart, it means you have decided to let go of the past and are ready to start a new chapter of your life.
Also try to stay active by taking care of yourself. When a person’s heart is broken, this puts a lot of stress on his or her physical and emotional well-being.
It is, therefore, important to eat right, drink plenty of fluids, exercise and find time for relaxation. Force yourself to do these things, even if you don’t feel like them as doing so will help you overcome depression and feelings of low self-esteem.
Finally, try not to enter another relationship immediately because while trying to heal emotionally, you are in a vulnerable state and can easily make very serious dating mistakes.
However, please don’t close yourself off to the possibility of romance at a later time.