'I Feel Like Killing My Husband'...Distressed Wife Writes To Relationship Coach Victoria Beeko Danso

Victoria Beeko Danso

Dear Victoria,
I've decided to kill my husband for what he's done to me.

I'm so angry and hurt.
We've been married for fifteen years with four kids, all boys.

I had all four of them through CS, upon my fourth pregnancy, my doctor adviced me not to attempt another pregnancy again as he didn't want me to endanger my life.

After talking it over with my husband, he suggested I should go with the tubal ligation method, so I can have peace of mind.

I initially, balked at the idea, since I've always known he wanted a girl child, he told me he was happy with our four boys and so I shouldn't worry.

Very well, I signed the consent form and they tied my tubes after I delivered our fourth born.

Vicky, would you believe that five years later, I had an anonymous call that my husband was having a naming ceremony at a particular place?

I didn't believe it, so I sent a colleague of mine to go and check, lo and behold, it was true, he had impregnated someone else and the woman had given birth to a girl, he named her after his mother.

His mother was in support of what he was doing; This is someone whom I treated like my biological mother, but she joined her son to stab me at the back.

I confronted him and he told me it's no big deal, am I still not wearing his ring?

Is he not taking care of the home? So what is my concern if he should decide he wants more children? Can you imagine that!

A man I stood by, who had nothing when we were starting our relationship, now feels he can treat me anyhow because he's made it in life.

I will make sure I destroy him.
Honestly, I'm so broken.

Victoria's Advice:

My dear Sister
First of all, I would entreat you to calm down in light of what has happened, never take a decision when you're angry.

Only your husband knows what he's looking for, that's making him do what he's doing.

But killing him will not solve the problem, you'll make your children suffer for nothing, because if anything should happen to him, you'll be the prime suspect, have you thought about imprisonment and what will happen to your beloved children when you're taken away?

I would daresay your kids need you more than your hubby.

Concentrate on them, your career and any other thing that can help you rise above the pain.

Discuss it with your pastor, if possible let him talk to your husband, but the thing is, the harm has already been done, and there's no need crying over spilt milk.

Just focus on your children and leave your hubby to his own devices.

May God strengthen you.
Follow and connect on Facebook @Victoria Beeko Danso