Sass Pocket, No Sass Pocket

Kwesi Biney When I was in the primary school, we used to play a game we called 'Sass pocket'. It was when I got to the Middle School that it dawned on me that the “Sass” indeed is 'Search'.

And the game went like this; if I first saw a fellow school boy with whom we play this game, all I had to do was to shout 'SASS POCKET'. Once I was the first person to shout 'sass pocket', he was obliged to raise up his arms after which I had the right to search his pockets and pick whatever I found in his pockets.

On the other hand, if I saw him first and I had something in my pocket which I would not want him to take all I needed to say was “no sass pocket”. In this case, I became immuned to “pocket sassing”. I am wondering how many of my contemporaries enjoyed this type of game.

Last week, the President, His Excellency John Evans Atta Mills, was reported to have engaged in a 'sass pocket' gimmick at the Kotoka International Airport on his way to the English Queen's country. An action which has been described by some of his spokespersons as a symbol on his pledge to deal with the issue of drugs in this country, I find this so-called symbolism in the fight against the use of our land for the narcotics trade very funny and insinuating.

First, is the President imputing that previous Presidents (at least we have two living presidents all of whom did make foreign travels while in office) who did not subject themselves to that kind of search he exhibited, were couriers of drugs? Secondly, why did the President limit the “sass pocket” game to only himself and not to all his entourage accompanying him?

Where was his luggage at the time the immigration or the CEPS were searching his body? Did they search only his pockets or did he go through a scanning machine to determine whether he per chance swallowed a few pellets, with the intention of discharging them at the point of disembarkation? I beg you ooo, this one ebe just questions I want answers for.

Just imagine our President having gone through the searching process in Ghana (I hope the person who did the searching did not touch the old man's John Thomas which I am sure is already preparing for retirement, if it has not done so already) and on getting to his final destination, a scan was made on him on the basis of the symbolism he exhibited at Kotoka.

Then something like a cube of tate and lyle sugar was found stuck somewhere in his intestine, would the people in the U.K had allowed him to go to his hotel to discharge it or he would have been given a chamber pot in a small room to discharge under supervision?

Haba, Egya Fiifi Atta, why do you want to engage in such demeaning populism when you have very serious issues to tackle in this country?

You see how the number of your entourage has become such a major issue for discussion instead of the gains that are likely to emanate from your travel?

It is because of those falsehood and the unrealistic promises you made to the people of Ghana about what you would do and not do if you were voted into power.

I bet you Mr. President, you cannot control some of the things that go on around you, and do not listen so much to superficial socialist pundits, who live a life of extravagance behind you while preaching humility publicly or at least, using your humility as a cover to do so many bad things that will satisfy their individual egos.

You see how your administration is suffering?  Can you tell us what you take for breakfast, lunch and dinner since many of the people who voted for you can hardly put one meal on the table in a day, according to your campaign message? What does your dog eat for breakfast and dinner?

Lest I forget, in your usual modesty, did it occur to you that the hotel given to you as an accommodation was too extravagant and ostentatious par excellence in the midst of the homelessness of many of the people who voted for you because you brought out those problems during your campaign?.

Na wa oo, President say ino do stay in the Jubilee House because e too expensive and hospitals no get better facilities. But when igo London, and they give am expensive hotel, i forget say im people them hospital no get better facility.

Who talk you say good things no sweet, if you no get money you say you no like Whisky. I sabe some politicians wey before them get political power them dey drink malt.

They say dem no like alcohol. As power come sweet for them small, dem start drink wine. Better one oo, ino be yeye wine. If you ask them say ah, but alcohol dey inside wine, dem go tell you say red wine good for the heart.

Which Doctor prescribe wine to a heart patient for this country before?

Oh how wise are the sayings of sages who are not recognised by their people until they are dead and gone.

One of such sages of our time is the late Prof. P.A.V. Ansah who said in your own language that “Se ememen asekan dze kedze hen a, nyimpa a obedzi w'adzi bere, na wara so eroko tsiefi a, ebere”, that is to say " if you accede to a throne by swallowing knives, your successor runs into problems, and you yourself have a hard time when you have to empty your bowels”.

In your case, you did not swallow knives but spewed out untruths to accede to the throne and you are having a hard time making those untruths come true.

Now your Spokesperson says the number of your entourage or better still, Presidential entourage should not be an issue at all. Do you agree? Which other issues in future will not be worth discussing?

The Beautiful Ones Are Not Yet Born, And The Ugly Ones Refuse To Die, So Weep Not Child.

  By Kwesi Biney