Life is a Journey: Live it (Part 62)

The other autobiography
So, I was down on my knees. Down as someone can be. While I moved in with my mother I was unable to think about the past nor having plans for the future. At that time I had my cat Moritz with me all the while. I got him aged three and at nineteen the vet in Sülldorf took him down. Under a tree in the back yard of Sülldorfer Landstraße 306, he found his final resting place. A friend so dearly missed.

One day I walked from Wittenbergener Ufer towards Blankenese passing the campsites along the beach. I put my feet in the water. I was about to end my life. Nothing in the world worked for me. Was the world waiting for me to perform a miracle? Why live? What for? People like my sister Heidi Jürgensen would have loved to see me taking my own life as still today they have never stopped wishing me to die long before them. Today I know as I slipped so often out of the hands of the dead man the devil my enemies will die long before me. At that moment on the beach, I did not know what I know today. Nothing made sense. My soul cried out for justice. For lasting peace. For harmony.

As I kept my feet in the water I thought of my mother and my cat Moritz. What would my mother have thought? What would have happened to Moritz? Would I have caused the untimely death of my mother? And Moritz who would have loved him. In the end, these two people saved my life. When my enemies would hear it now they would for sure curse my mother and Moritz.

I often think of that moment on the beach with my feet in the water. Looking back, would I have changed something? In the past…I would not have changed anything as all steps in my life needed to happen exactly as they did to bring me to where I am today. And today…I would never want to miss where I am today. Do not exchange it with anyone else. What do I do differently? I only do what I really want. No fake compromises. I am loyal to myself and my life. I listen to God’s word spoken or seen in the spirit. What others think about me is not my business. I can stand alone and do and think what I do and think. I am too old to live the life of another person. In business, I know first to decide what is in my best interest and can boost the idea and company I stand for before considering how others fit into all of it.

As I know of my future I am more than relaxed. This future is bright, very bright indeed. As long as someone lives he can achieve greatness. When you listen to the standards of people on how to behave at a certain age or to slow down because of age…don't listen to such fools. All these stupid people want is to slow down getting ready to jump into their coffins to be eaten up by worms into nothing, only the smelly of the worms after having digested you .... ”

Susanne Fröhlich looked at me reproachfully, saying:” Terrible…and the end is near.”

“Such people hate to see you overtaking them while both of you hit old age. They are about to end their lives while yours is just beginning. Their past is now at old age, your future. They had their glory and are satisfied while you see life as a chance of constant growth and chance. While they rest to die you live the best years of your life to overtake.”

“Could it be…,” Susanne Fröhlich looked at me suspiciously,” you one day…just maybe…possibly,” she laughed and hesitated to come to the point,”... you want to finish unfinished businesses…”

“The enemies are all around us. They listen to take action…,” was what I was advising her.

“In Africa?”
“Psst…let's confuse our enemies…let them go the other way of thinking. Pssst…let's keep our secrets among ourselves. Enemies can hear…see…read…and watch. Let's play with their minds. Let's have a bit of fun!”