Bad advice is cheap. Good advice is expensive. This is very obvious in today's world where many of us have been drowned in unnecessary complexities because of some so-called piece of advice we heeded to. Who and what you pay heed to is as important as anything you can imagine because they influence how you think and live.
Especially with regards to dating/relationship, many young people are speedily heading towards the wrong direction because of what is rumored as 'good advice'. They tie their lives to such pieces of advice and waste a chunk of their productive years with the wrong mindset about the opposite sex and life in general. Listen. The advice you listen to determines the life you live; whether good or bad.
A half-truth of an advice is still a lie. Any piece of advice that has no room for morality and common sense is no advice. It may ruin your life… if not now… eventually. Bad pieces of advice almost always sound good until they are tested with morality and common sense. Our lives are too precious to be wasted on pieces of advice that will only leave us wasted.
Just have a look at such bad-pieces-of-advice-turned-good.
“All men are cheats. Just cope with him.”
Really!? Good men don't cheat. All a good man needs is one woman to live his life with. If you haven't met one yet, just be patient. Don't rush for anything in the name of a man. You'll only end up killing yourself under the pretext of coping!
“If you love him or her truly, premarital sex is a proof.”
You don't hasten to be a wife or husband when you both are not one yet. Some things are for married couples only! Premarital sex is not a proof of true love. Sex outside the confines of marriage has never been love in the first place. If your proclaimed love to him/her is still not enough, trust me, they have trust issues! Needless to prove your love.
“Literally fight for your love. Go have a bout with whoever you think they're cheating with.”
Mind you, what you fight to get, you need to fight to maintain. For how long will you have the strength to fight? Do something more profitable with your energy. Fighting for some so-called love is one thing you may forever regret. Well… that's what your household witches whisper into your ears when they want to celebrate your premature death!
“If you want him to marry you early, trap him with pregnancy!”
I wonder how pregnancy ever became a trapping tool. Such bad pieces of advice have unnecessarily rendered many young ladies single mothers today. In their bid to trap, they were trapped. The irony is that you'll end up only trapping yourself. And… you'll be on your own!
“Everyone aborts. As long as you both will end up together, no worries.”
Everyone aborts? Like seriously? Don't destroy your life to please another because you assume you both may end up together. Dating may necessarily not end up in marriage. That's why one should be wary of what they do. Look at the life of whoever advises you as such. You see their life? Advise yourself.
“Don't worry about his/her infidelity. After marriage, they'll stop.”
Well… marriage doesn't cure infidelity. Infidelity is not a disease. It is a character! Unless whoever takes the pain to turn over a new leaf, marriage can't help them
much. Pay attention to character.
“True love makes you do the unthinkable. Empty your bank account for him/her anytime you wish to.”
Isn't it amazing how we sometimes stop using our head when we start using our heart? Use your head to think as you use your heart to love. Love doesn't mean “Stop thinking”. Do you know a boyfriend is not a husband and a girlfriend is not a wife either? Do you know they don't owe you anything should the relationship not end up in marriage? Spend carefully.
“If your man doesn't beat you when you do wrong, it means he doesn't love you.”
Sister, do you have leather for skin? Since when has abuse been a sign of love? Know your worth.
“Even if he's married, it doesn't matter. Men are hard to come by lately.”
Don't underestimate your value. You deserve better. You don't need to play substitute in another's marriage.
“If you love each other, have a blood covenant.”
Don't start inviting demons and principalities you can't contain yet. If you love each other, just go marry! Some needless covenants will forever bring your life to a standstill. One of such is a blood covenant.
Be careful what you accept as good advice. It may only make your life bad.
By: Kobina Ansah
The writer is a playwright and Chief Scribe of Scribe Communications (www.scribecommltd.com), a writing company based in Accra. Get interactive with him on his Facebook page, Kobina Ansah.