Forgetfulness, Remembrance & Relationships

By Shadrack K. Datrey Akrofi-Quarcoo
Forgetfulness, Remembrance & Relationships
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Did you know that, ‘forgetfulness’ and ‘remembrance’ are twin activities that go a long way in determining the outcome of THOUSANDS of relationships daily? The sad news maybe is the reality that, only few realize the extraordinary impacts of these twin virtues on our day to day engagements in life!

For the purpose of today’s discussion, TO FORGET implies 'FAILURE to remember' or 'ABILITY to lose sight of someone or something'; TO REMEMBER on the other hand implies 'FAILURE to forget' or 'ABILITY to recollect someone or something'!

Friends you see, from the definitions above, we could notice two (2) key words (i) failure (ii) ability; and both words ‘failure & ability’ applies to definitions of ‘to forget’ and‘to remember’.

It’s quite sad to notice the extent of damage done to relationships due to inability/ failure to remember or inability/failure to forget. Relationships throughout history have been plagued with the vengeance of this two edged sword(remembrance& forgetfulness). To avoid been at the mercy of this same double-edged sword, lets reflect on the following:

  • Are you forgetting things you ought to remember about your friendship(s)???
  • Are you forgetting a ‘simple’“thank you” for a kindness shown you by a friend?
  • Are you forgetting a promise you've sworn to keep?
  • Are you forgetting a day you ought to commemorate in your friendship(s)? etc.

  • Or rather still, are you remembering things you ought to forget?
  • Are you remembering past hurts?
  • Are you remembering long apologizedand 'repented of' behaviors?
  • Are you remembering past-times with long gone friendships to the detriment of present friendship(s)???

Whichever way answers go, it’s quite important to note that, what we forget and what we remember are twin edges of a same sword and could cut either (i) for our benefit (ii) against our benefit (iii) both ways!!!

Since we can hardly do away with either REMEMBERING or FORGETTING, let us see some great ways to use this powerful God-given facility to our benefit and that of our relationships:

  • Decide consciously and repeatedly confess/note down things you must remember/ dare not forgetin order to keep your relationships alive and well. Great examples of such moments may include the following &and many others. Events like special days, eateries, comic relief spots, shopping centers, favorite color etc. You may write a list that works well per your specific relationship!

### Thisfirst point usually goes for MALES (especially when it comes to remembering important events/ dates of their partners)

  • Decide consciously to FORGET things that are inconsequential to the present state and future condition of your relationship(s)!!! Why try remembering faults/flaws of the past which has been repented of by someoneyou call your partner? Why remember hurts/ pains of past-relationship (s) and allow it affect new relationships? Why NOT remember strengths of those you call friends? Why not remember a favor shown you while all hope was lost? Why not remember a gracious protection granted you by a friend from impending evil?

### This 2nd point usually deals with LADIES; ladies, try to consciously remember the good things or consciously fail to recollect scenes of the past that may not serve the present condition of your relationship well!

Effectively, our relationship(s) is/are ruled by these Siamese-twin conditions of (i) remembrance (ii) forgetfulness.

Both remembrance & forgetfulness arise from deep within hailing from the configuration of our emotion& thought settings (gently reflect on this: Selah)!!!

FUD4TOT: When God made man, He put in him both ability to forget and remember. A man who remembers without forgetting becomes at least frustrated/stagnant (just imagine remembering everything CONTINUOSLY& NEVER FORGETTING till death: lol). On the other hand, the person who forgets without remembering would likely turn out ungrateful/disloyal/treacherous(imagine forgetting everything CONTINUOSLY& NEVER remembering what friend(s) do for you. Hehe, waoow!). God gave both out of love, so that we can be balanced and build very effective and healthy relationships: SO USE THEM BOTH WELL

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