The challenge before most guys today is: “How can I escape from the trap of immorality, stay in accountable relationship and refuse to see any girl behind closed doors?”
Many guys are lured into immorality by poverty, wrong choice of male friends who influence them, greed, selfishness and lust. More importantly however, our society has a lot of bound men.
One of the characteristics of a bound man is that he is carrying wounds that are still expanding. The truth about life is that the boys will soon become men. They are wounded boys and upcoming wounded men. If you meet a man who behaves badly, he was once a boy who behaved badly. It doesn't start in one day. It is possible that something was not dealt with, at the tender age. For instance, if he grew up to see his father beating up his mother everyday, then, you as the wife or finacee should get ready for daily beating. If his mother cheated his father and rendered the man very poor to the extent that it affected the man's ability to sponsor his education, he will grow up seeing women as enemies. He will desire to marry because African culture says a man should marry-not because he loves any woman. How about if his late father was a known womaniser and he shares this view that such lifestyle is unchangeable?
Bound men carry wounds and the wounds keep expanding. A bound man has not grown out of childhood folks and childhood feelings and expressions. Selfish collectors of toys become selfish collectors of toys even when they are men. They will rather take care of their car than feed their families or take care of their children. They prefer to stay with that car every Saturday shining it, polishing it, kissing it.
So, a guy that gives more love to his car, his male friends, his laptop and any other third party to the relationship, more than the love he shows you fiancee or wife, has the tendency to cheat on you. If he can for instance, change the subject to discuss his car's problems when you try to express offense for his lack of concern for your feelings or issues of the children's school feels, then, he can possibly give his heart to another woman. This is why you must as a lady, dig into a man's background before you give your heart to him. It is not that you may still not be deceived despite all your investigations. Yes. The heart of man is desperately wicked. But it is wrong not to make any effort to investigate, just because you feel it is not possible for you to gather information. This is also why it is important to marry a truely born again Christian. This will work out if you are born again yourself.
Unfortunately, many ladies don't know a bound man even if they see one. They rather look at height, financial status and other less relevant factors. This is why it is risky for a single lady to say: “Let me just marry him. Once, I do, I will change him.” Well, good luck to you but remember, marriage is more of a decision than a mere feeling. Have you decided to live with these things all your life?
Deacon ALBINUS CHIEDU
Coordinator, MARRIAGE CAN WORK Project
...TO BE CONTINUED (Questions Are Welcome)