4 Ways To Ensure A successful Online Dating

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1. Out of town—and out of touch
The scenario: “A guy sent me a message saying that he wanted to meet up for a drink, but when I asked when he was free, he said he was ‘going out of town’ for the next two weeks and that we should schedule something after.” — Andrea, 31

The problem...and the solution: If you tell a girl you’re “going out of town,” she’s going to assume you’re busy dating other women. By the time your date comes around, she’ll already have lost interest or have found someone more attentive. If you really are going away, wait until you get back to ask her out. A good rule of thumb: if you aren’t available for a date within 7 days of sending the message, don’t send it.

2. Not-so-smooth operator
The scenario: “I recently received a message that said, ‘Damn you’re a pretty white girl, you into muscular black men?’” — Kristen, 27

The problem...and the solution: Aside from the obvious inappropriate nature of the comment to a complete stranger, men should never mention their physical characteristics or their own body parts in an introductory message. Women are easily scared away online, so you should avoid saying anything remotely controversial or predatory. Stick to neutral subjects — like mentioning a common ground you share based on something you read in her profile.

3. The insecure online dater
The scenario: “It’s so annoying and a major turn-off whenever a guy has something in his profile like ‘still not sure about online dating but...’” — Randi, 25

The problem...and the solution: We get it. A lot of you are self-conscious about the fact that you’re on a dating site. But obviously if she’s on the site too, you’re both in the same boat. By pointing out your hesitations, she’s bound to assume you’re an insecure person. Just don’t bring it up. If you feel so inclined to explain yourself, wait to do it when you’ve met in person — and be confident about your reasons for joining.

4. The gambler
The scenario: “I got a message that said ‘Obviously you’re cute, but I’m just having trouble believing that this is actually you because you seem too good to be true. My buddy thinks you’re real and now we have a $20 bet going. Am I about to lose 20 bucks?” — Kristin, 26

The problem...and the solution: Aside from the fact that this is a pathetic pickup line, it’s certainly never going to work. A lot of women are looking for something serious and have no interest in participating in your immature wager with friends. Flattery is fine, but not to this degree. Try telling her she has a nice smile instead.