Is It Necessary To Talk To Your Partner About Your Exes?

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Why talking to your partner about your exes could be a good thing and tips to help have a succesful chat about your exes.

Don’t ask a question you don’t want the answer to.

If knowing about each other’s sexual history is going to make you feel uncomfortable or insecure, don’t talk about it. What happens between you two matters the most, so place value in your current intimacy.

Don’t compare yourself to the exes.
In the world of social media, all you need is a person’s name to discover what they look like, how they dress, where they went to school, etc. But none of that matters. Your partner is with you now because it didn’t work out with their ex. You’re obviously more amazing than the ex is.

Preface your questions.
Why talking about your exes could be a good thing
Sometimes, the question doesn’t matter as much as why you’re asking the question. Do you want to know about the past in order to get to know your significant other on another level, or are you looking for drama?

Be willing to have a safe space.
Not all relationships get the closure they need, and sometimes feelings from your past relationship can stay with you. I don’t necessarily mean that you still have feelings for the person (that’s another issue entirely), but maybe you’re watching a movie that reminds you of something tough from your past relationship. You want to be able to safely and openly talk about it with your SO without making them feel insecure.

Be careful not to over-share.
While it’s good to let your current partner know what you experienced and learned in past relationships, it’s also very important to keep your focus on the present relationship. That’s your priority. Don’t let yourself get caught up in the past wondering what could have been. Be present with your partner and intend to build what you have together.