Sat, 13 Apr 2024 Feature Article

Pursuit Of Sudden Windfall Is The Root Of Weird Hedonistic Tendencies

Pursuit Of Sudden Windfall Is The Root Of Weird Hedonistic Tendencies

It is a gesture of honor and respect when friends trust you to marry their matured daughter. Late President Shagari was given two beautiful youthful girls during his visit to Rivers State then. Many people implored him to send them to school, he did. They did not become his wives. We never knew what became of those girls after. Though accepted in some cultures, many cannot tolerate or imagine their 19 year old son or daughter in a relationship with older folks.

There was a story of a young lady rejected by her school mate. She promised to get back at him by pursuing a relationship with the dad! Ouch! Young girls may be irrevocably damaged if they cannot pursue education or capabilities early in life when they are more vigorous and stronger. Their child bearing age is also limited compared to that of older men.The euphoria or infatuation that starts with sexual attraction always ends in disappointment for one reason or the other.

What do we expect when we leave well educated ladies desiring husbands for teenage wives because their parents approve or bless the act? Look, there is nothing more titillating than the precocious move of a youthful beauty queen. But older men and cougar ladies on ego trips use younger people as trophies to prove their virility to the world. The community we lead by selfish ego and salacious acts extends to politics and would come back to haunt us and the community.

While many men would be flattered by youthful gestures, they might not be up to the task ahead. Men have these exaggerated feelings of their sexual prowess when in fact most ladies could outperform most of them. The hedonistic tendencies enjoyed during leadership reign becomes difficult to let go because of the accolades and everything that comes with power. Africa has witnessed Presidents that appoint their family members and ethnic groups into strategic positions to preserve their interest.

Any form of corruption can be damaging but we must differentiate between those that affect the community and the unborn generation by the unprecedented greed we see in Africa today. We were supposed to be our brothers’ keepers where it takes a village to raise a child. Since the face of poverty changed from Asia to Africa, we have become me, myself and I. Even extended families are no longer welcomed as before.

On the other hand are corruptions that affect two matured consenting partners in a relationship. It goes beyond the hedonistic tendency to acquire ladies or boys. After all, some African countries encourage or make it mandatory to marry more than one lady. The justification for polygamy is the number of women that outnumber men. Just as the justification for polyandry is the number of men outnumbering women.

Matured well educated ladies intimidate some matured men. Great men have fallen by the wayside in the hands of young beautiful women. Women are not saints either, they are just more discreet in the pursuit of younger men. Many young men got their first shot with an older lady as a teenager but would not even think of a long term relationship with them.

Though both older men and women cannot keep a deep, interesting conversation with Youths. There were rumors that the son or the nephew of a President impregnated his step mother or aunty as the father figure became too old to perform on his youthful wife. One has to wonder how such relationships started. It would take one hell of a bold boy to approach a woman old enough to be his mother or aunty.

Unless deep friendship and caring is involved. Be real, pure sexual fantasy wanes with time. As couples with deep friendships are advised to spice it up. But variety may create another problem and become an anomaly out of weird curiosity. One partner must know when to stop and put a boundary to variety. You may wonder why good looking people that can attract a partner would go awry into sexual aberration.

Parents always advise the youths to delay sexual encounters they will have the opportunity to enjoy later. Early sex only leads to reaching the peak of fulfillment earlier in life leaving many future years of enjoyment unfulfilled. Even women of virtue and promiscuous men peak early, wondering about other ways to explore new sexual behavior. It does not make sense to get a painful experience and ruin an immature sensitive organ preventing later enjoyment later in life.

Friends forever means regardless of different views sometimes, reasonable people can agree to disagree. Sexual relationships go beyond that. It creates an entitlement mentality between both partners. No matter the situation, even if one party is wrong. We are expected to be there for one another. One is supposed to forgive and forget. Easier to forgive than to forget. Otherwise, the same thunder would strike twice if you forget to change your spot.

Laziness and easy monetary windfall leads to idle hands looking for one high after another without which boredom leads to mischievous behavior. Some Africans have found their way to leadership by any means necessary in order to loot the treasury dry. There are coup d’etat within the military governments in the form of palace coup. Usually, disagreements over sweet pots disguised as fighting against oppressors and colonial masters.

Unfortunately, after acquiring power it becomes difficult to leave. Both inside and outside Africa we have seen how elections are manipulated and rejected to prolong leaders' hold on power. Even democratic elected leaders become strongmen just to retain power. Popular votes no longer guaranteed leadership. It has to be ratified by the Parliament or Electoral votes. The people's votes are no longer trusted to choose their leader.

There is no substitute for perseverance and hard work. No pain, no gain. There is an African saying that those with absolute power lack humbleness or forget to think deeply: Alagbara ma mero. It is not surprising that other cultures, mused by Lord Acton, also come up with power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely just as despotic power is always accompanied by corruption of morality. This is why dictators crave absolute moral immunity.

If men only realize how they would end up after the children and their mothers become independent in their older age, men would be more prudent in their pursuit of power and ladies. It is more important for men to save some of their money for their older age than to spend most on ladies in their younger days. It is even better to be able to buy candies to enjoy some moments with grandchildren than to spend it all on grown children.