Kapic's treatise here is similar to what Will McRaney, Jr., deals with in his book The Art of Personal Evangelism. Involving in people's life is messy. That is why Jesus used the analogy of farming in many of his teaching especially, the Parables. Not only that, Jesus also demonstrated this principle in His dealings with people. Let me give you at least three examples. The first one is Zacchaeus. Jesus loved Zacchaeus but hated his sin of being a crook and a greedy tax collector. The second example is the Samaritan woman (John 4). The disciples did not want Jesus to waste His time with this woman of bad reputation but Jesus loved the woman and revealed Himself to her. The third illustration is the man born blind from birth (congenital blindness) (John 9). The Pharisees on one hand hated such people but Jesus on the other hand loved them and saved them. The truth is that we are to hate sin as Jesus hates sin but we are to love the sinner as He still loves sinners. A typical example is the woman who was caught in adultery and brought to Jesus for condemnation. Instead of condemnation and imminent death, Jesus offered forgiveness and a reprimand. That is what we need to do as followers of Christ.
How old was this pastor? I believe that he did not use wisdom and tactfulness. These are some of the mistakes that bring about church splits. These things can be prevented if pastors and spiritual leaders would overcome pride and self-centered attitude.
Do you think that Jesus, the early church, and the Apostle Paul would make such a statement that this church is not for everybody? On the contrary, Jesus said the Son of Man came to seek and to save those who were lost. Paul said that I have become all things to all men so I may win some.
I believe that there should be other means of spiritual growth for believers besides the preaching on Sunday. In my local church, we have small group meetings outside the church in various homes.
What I differ with you is that of infants in the main service. I don't think that it is appropriate for infants to be crying during the middle of preaching by the Pastor or a guest preacher. That is child care is provided for mothers with children.
You have identified one of the common dichotomies in the local church today. What you have stated here is similar to salvation by works versus faith alone. However, both should walk hand in hand (Eph. 2:8-10). We should endeavor to avoid both extremes. There should be a balance between good works and faith.
You are dealing with an important issue that has been the downfall of many young preachers today. Many young preachers in their enthusiasm enter the pastorate with a mind full of new ideas. However, what they don't realize is that it takes time for people to change. There is nothing wrong with tradition. However, what is wrong is traditionalism and there is a difference.
The knowledge of God that does not lead to a true worship of God becomes idolatry. Seminarians are often warned to be careful that they do not become too focused on the academic side of theology that they forget to worship God. For instance, a seminary student can become too pre-occupied in learning how to parse Greek verbs while he neglects having his quiet time with God in His Word and in prayer. There should be a fine balance between the two.