BITTER TRUTH ON MARRIAGE (Part 17) Married Woman
Of course, the man needs to catch the vision. If he does not catch the vision, she cannot affirm the vision. For instance, she says:
“Excuse me darling! This is January 1. What are we going to do this year? He says
“I don't know. When I know, I shall tell you”.
She comes back in July or August to ask the same question. He says again that he will tell her in December. Again, as a woman, if he tells you the vision; even if you have problem with the vision, still show belief and affection. Then, a good man likes you discuss a vision and he listens.
A man sometimes may be strongheaded when he has a vision that is moving him. As a wife, encourage the vision first. Then, you can come back and say “Have you considered the other side of the vision?” Most likely, he will say “No problems. It's a good vision”.
Do not take his ability to provide for granted. Let the children know that daddy is trying his best. The children may complain
“The car is not big enough. It's not like Janet's daddy's car. Mummy, we don't have so and so car”. Response should be “Well, they can afford it at the moment. We can't. We are glad for what we have”. The children may ask:
“Daddy, when are we going to have the kind of House Jane and Janet's parents have? They have five bedrooms and a swimming pool. We just have two rooms on the 10th floor”. The woman should stand by the man and say “Thank God for what we have. As a wife, let the children know that you are excited by what their dad has provided. Let them see something unique about it.
Express abundant pride in his person and work. If anyone would be the supporting club of a man, it should be the wife. Show interest in his work and say “Can I see the work? Let me see what you are doing”. Give positive feedback. Yes! You may be the type that has an eye on works. When the man is coming, you can see the mistake from afar. But don't talk mistake first. Even though you saw it from afar, you have to praise that work so much. Start with “My God! Did you do this yourself? This is world class. Michael Angelo couldn't even do this. I tell you. After a few minutes, you can then say “Next time, you could just mix the colours more neatly”. Talk abundantly of the qualities he has that touches you.
Something attracted you to your husband. Remember! Don't always tell him what he didn't do right. There is a big statement that hurts a man; when you tell him “I knew you never loved me. You never really loved me. Infact, you don't love me at all”.
My God! That is too far reaching. It is too unacceptable.
Sometimes, it is the man that likes to discipline the children. You don't come and interfere between the father the child. If you disagree on his approach, why not say: “Dear, can I see you in the bedroom?” He comes to the bedroom and you discuss it behind closed doors. Don't disagree in the presence of that child.
Deacon ALBINUS CHIEDU
MARRIAGE CAN WORK PROJECT
...TO BE CONTINUED (Questions Are Welcome)