Only Alan’s Lack of Commonsense Is Unparalleled, Ohene Ntow

Feature Article Alan Kyerematen - Ohene Ntow
Alan Kyerematen - Ohene Ntow

He was former President John “The Gentle Giant” Agyekum-Kufuor’s Ambassador to the Unted States of America, prior to him being recalled to Ghana for the custom-tailored and, in retrospect, the oversized portfolio of Minister of Trade and Industry and Special Presidential Initiatives. So, in his interview with Mr. Selorm Adonoo on “Eyewitness News,” on Friday, April 5, Instant, one would have expected that the Alan Kyerematen tout, namely, Nana Ohene Ntow, would have informed his audience precisely what “diplomatically unparalleled” achievements the former putative pet presidential candidacy material of Mr. Agyekum-Kufuor had logged hereabouts in the United States of America that compelled the recalling of Alan Cash, as Mr. Alan John Kwadwo Kyerematen is popularly known, from Washington, DC, to Accra for the assumption of the aforementioned cabinet portfolio (See “Alan's contributions to Ghana unparalleled – Nana Ohene Ntow” 4/7/24).

Interestingly, Mr. Ohene Ntow is himself not very well known to have significantly distinguished himself in either the government of President Agyekum-Kufuor or the very institutional establishment of the New Patriotic Party (NPP). Indeed, had he genuinely distinguished himself inimitably and/or incomparably, one would have expected the man who has never won any elected public office to have rattled off the same to a spellbound or an awestruck Ghanaian citizenry and the electorate, shortly after Alan Cash resigned his Trade and Industry Minister’s post from the two-term Akufo-Addo Administration, in which the Agyekum-Kufuor cousin also served for approximately 7 years without exhibiting any signs or impact of the kind of “unparalleled distinction” or contribution to the government and the nation that Mr. Ohene Ntow would have the rest of us believe he had done.

Else, the very first statement of predictable malediction or verbal abuse that Mr. Kyerematen unleashed at his most recent prime political benefactor, that is, the proverbial Leprechaun of Akyem-Abomosu and Kyebi, to wit, Nana Addo Dankwa Akufo-Addo, would not have been to call the entire unarguably impressive national-development record of the present government into question. Rather, Alan Cash would have proceeded to, characteristically, list his “nonesuch” catalogue of achievements as most intelligent and strategically savvy politicians would have done, which would have been to proudly showcase precisely what made the Asante-’Dweso/Ejisu and Kumasi-Patasi native the candidate to beat in the leadup to the 2024 Presidential Election.

Instead, Alan Cash would characteristically rudely come swinging and taking largely nihilistic and politically suicidal potshots at the man who twice decisively defeated him for the Presidential Nomination of the New Patriotic Party. After all, why would a man who has supposedly made “unparalleled contributions” towards the development of Ghana be so caustically and implacably dead-set on witheringly character-assassinating the leadership caliber and the personal integrity of President Addo Dankwa Akufo-Addo, with such patently and inexcusably asinine accusation as the latter’s having made it epically impossible for Mr. Kyerematen to launch a successful 2024 Presidential-Election Campaign?

And were, indeed, the twice-elected Nana Akufo-Addo the quintessential paragon of a grossly incompetent leader (Remember the Alan Cash mantra of “NATO” – that is, “No Action, Talk Only”?), precisely and essentially or fundamentally why would a far more talented and politically competent Alan Kyerematen decide to spend 7 protracted years working under the tutelage of a man who would have been too dumb, by Mr. Kyerematen’s own reckoning, to have qualified to be recruited as one of his ordinary hired hands or employees while Alan Cash was a 22-year-old United Africa Company (UAC) Supermarket Manager?

You see, in so misguidedly going to bat for Alan Cash, as it were, Nana Ohene Ntow, the sometime Media Communications Lecturer at the University of Ghana – Truly Yours promptly stands to be corrected on the latter count – has deservedly made himself look even more foolish and downright idiotic than his present boss and paymaster. None of which surprises this writer the least bit, as right from the get-go, as it were, Candidate Kyerematen had proven himself to be an incurably stiff-necked buffoon who woefully lacked the requisite behavioral decency and the well-cultivated humanity and manners of a vintage political team player of the sort required to ride herd over a progressive and a successful institutional establishment such as the New Patriotic Party.

Put in plain English, Alan Kyerematen is clearly cursed with the primitive mindset of the prince of a feudal monarch or lord who delusionally reckons himself to be “The It,” as New Yorkers are wont to say. Which is why whenever Alan “Cash” Kyerematen looks into the mirror every morning, these days, and every chance he gets, the only image that he sees is “The Humpty-Dumpty-Headed Dwarf from Kyebi New Town,” Nana-Nkansowaa Adwoa Asante-Juaben DehyeE Apeakoramaa’s neighborhood. And, of course, Akyem-Abomosu, as already noted above.

The good news here, though, is that even his own avuncular cousin and former prime benefactor, that is, My Own Good, Old Uncle Kofi Diawuo Agyekum-Kufuor – aka John The Gentle Giant – has since offered his most precious blessings to the 2024 Presidential Candidate of the ruling New Patriotic Party, to wit, Vice-President Mahamudu Bawumia, the former Deputy-Governor of the Bank of Ghana and the widely presumed Next President of Our Beloved Sovereign Democratic Republic of Ghana. That is how the irredeemably defeated Messrs. Kyerematen and his political sidekick, Nana Ohene Ntow, and their psychologically and emotionally unhinged associates have become.

*Visit my blog at: KwameOkoampaAhoofeJr

By Kwame Okoampa-Ahoofe, Jr., PhD
Professor Emeritus, Department of English
SUNY-Nassau Community College
Garden City, New York
April 7, 2024
E-mail: [email protected]