Feminism Or Humanism? Equality Or Equity? What Do We Stand And Seek For?

Are you a feminist? Most often I hear this question a lot because of my point of view concerning what men and women should and should not do. The truth is that everyone is, or should I say everyone who thinks all human beings should have equal rights? Feminism is not men versus women, it is human versus human. Feminism is a wrong term, it should be humanism.

The right question is are you a humanist? Everyone should be. Another interesting question is, is every woman a feminist or should I say humanist? No!! Mothers who treat their sons better than their daughters are not. Women who judge other working women as not being good enough mothers are not. Mothers who think their daughters` greatest achievement is being able to get married to a man and their sons’ greatest achievement as having successful careers are not feminist. Any female who will hear the dreams of another female and say but you are a woman/girl is not a feminist. I mean humanist. A feminist/humanist should be a person who strives for fairness and equal opportunities for all.

Some men will tell you women should know their limits and stay in their comfort zones instead of rubbing shoulders with men, such men are less confusing for their women know where they stand with them easily and some women actually like that, stay home and be domestic. I have no issue with that if that is what such women want. Some will quote feminist books and say women can do anything including flying. Nice in theory, however, in real life they are the same people who cannot handle the woman`s successes.

They say you can fly but when you fly high, they want to clip your wings. What such men actually mean is that, fly as long as you fly beneath them. Other men will love you as a flying bird and want you to fly higher and higher and yet do not want you to have a nest. Some men support their women all out, I commend them, for being open-minded and real believers of humanity. They are the true supporters in women`s rights.

Women want equal rights (equity). Equal rights (equity) means giving women the same rights, not the same things. Equal rights to get what they want, rather than equal rights to the same things men want. Most people think supporting feminism means giving women the choice to choose between career and home and think it is fair. It is still unfair because here is the deal. Do you know what women really want? We do not want to choose. We want to fly and we also want a beautiful nest. We want both. Do male birds tell female birds to choose? Hey, honey chooses to either fly or sit on the nest.

From a man`s perspective, men want a career, they want sex. So let`s say in the name of male rights, men are given a choice to choose between career and sex. If you want career give up sex and if you want sex, worship women all day and give up your career dreams. So choose, we are giving you equal rights. Sex or career. Is it a ridiculous choice? It is actually, the same as the choice given to women- fly or nest. Men want and get both. But a woman must choose. Some will say oh I get it women want everything. To have a lovely home and be a great mother and to also have a chance to shine in their careers. Not all women but for many yes.

The next question is how is it practically possible? Career means long office hours. Home means kids, responsibilities. Have men ever thought of why it is not practical? Because men designed this world. They decided office timings 8:00am to 5:00 pm and five days a week. Women were not in the workforce then. They are now. These office timings work well for men. They do not work for mothers, for instance. What is the world going to do about it? When will we say, let us rejig this to ensure it works for women? Forget rejig, when are we even going to acknowledge and make it an issue. The truth is some men will say they will be supportive yet cannot handle the success of the woman.

Well, some women plan to be more and more successful, how do such men plan to handle it? Other men leave their wives with kids to be with young girls who make them cling to their youth. But those girls will not be young forever. So what will such men do with them when they become mothers as well? That is why I like Rihanna`s half of me. It is like knowing and loving only half of someone. Other women have settled for such but no woman should actually compromise and settle for less. Sometimes you need to find yourself. The truth is any girl does not need a man to define her. You need a man to support, inspire and understand you. To help you be the best person you can be, a banker or a mother or both, and whatever. And until you find a man you trust enough to do that, why settle?

What women actually want and seek for is equity and not equality. The right to do what we want as women and not the same things as men. We do not want the same things as men, never. We just want the world to readjust itself , acknowledge and make provisions for us to be who we want to be without having to choose between one thing and the other when we can have it all. It is not about women versus men. It is human versus human with unique qualities each. So it is not about feminism but humanism. Women want to be treated as humans who also have preferences, needs, desires, wants, will, voices, etc. and the quest to fulfill their dreams without barriers, retributions and prejudice.

I stand for humanism and seek for equity. What do you stand and seek for?

By: Huzeima Mahamadu (Active citizen of Ghana)
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