"Do What You Love": A Rhetoric That Is Losing Significance?

My mom seems to have never forgiven me. She used to ‘fight’ me at the least opportunity for not ‘listening’ to her. What didn’t I ‘listen’ to? I went to pursue a degree at the university against her ‘advise’ to go to the college of education. The choice to go the university was essentially a brainchild of my elder sister anyway.

Like most parents she wanted her son (last born for that matter) to be what she was. She wanted me to ‘inherit’ their careers (both my mom and dad are teacher retirees). None of my five siblings had trained to become a teacher and I’m sure it was a big deal for mom.

But that’s not what I really wanted to be. Of course I found teaching exciting; getting others to understand what I know wasn’t challenging for me at all; I was empathetic to other’s ignorance and found passing on knowledge something I wanted to pursue as a career.

Unfortunately, there was one basic problem I’m sure my mom didn’t recognize. My challenge with her incessant push for me to become a teacher was that she didn’t give me convincing reasons to pursue her kind of teaching as a career.

The only reason I could deduce was that completing college of education guaranteed automatic employment. Employment? Was I just hoping to be employed after school or I wanted to be ‘gainfully’ employed?

I’m sure I wanted the latter. And I didn’t find teaching (especially at the basic level) to guarantee that. That’s my exclusive opinion (with all due respect to our teachers). But mom wouldn’t understand and I don’t really blame her.

The truth is that knowing myself and the life I wanted to live I’m sure I would have experienced burnout very earlier if I followed my mom’s advice. I would have been busy looking for other means to supplement my ‘meager’ salary at the expense of other people’s futures.

I would have been easily angered by my students’ or pupils’ low comprehension of contents. I would have quickly labeled my students or pupils as smart or daft without recognizing individual differences and those with special learning needs.

So I went to the university to read a programme that wasn’t related to teaching at the basic levels. I graduated with a bachelors degree (with honors of course). Securing a job after national service wasn’t easy. And mom was somehow vindicated.

The freeze on public sector recruitment was in full force. Hence, my brother in law helped me to secure a low paying job with a private company. Luck and fortune found me and I was promoted to a junior management position barely six months after commencing.

I worked hard, smart, and diligently to make myself proud (perhaps to shame my detractors). After nearly three years working for this company a close friend introduced me to another career in consulting (for a civil society organization).

This new role somehow put my mind to rest as I found it rewarding and fulfilling. I hope you get my point. It came with flexible working conditions, pays relatively well, and provides me a solid foundation to what I want to do as a career - teaching at the higher level.

In the wake of graduate unemployment which didn’t seem to reduce then or later mom again advised me to pursue a diploma in education to qualify me to be a professional teacher. My stubborn self again told her that unless I got appointment as a teacher I would rather pursue a master’s degree than ‘retrograde’ to a diploma. So I pursued a master’s degree (still defying mom’s advice). Interestingly, I didn’t choose these paths to necessarily disobey my mom. I only decided to understand where she’s coming from; and of course where I want to get to.

We’re mostly advised to do what we love. In other words don’t pursue a career if you don’t love doing what it entails. This sounds like everyone should stop doing what they do for a living if they don’t love it. Or perhaps start chasing what they want even if they don’t benefit (economically) from it.

I don’t exactly agree! Whereas it’s essential to do what you love it’s equally important to learn to love what you do. Not everyone can even identify what they love doing early enough in life to be able to develop a career around it.

So it’s not too late if this eluded you. Maybe you’re like me; you didn’t know what exactly you wanted to do but you were very certain what you didn’t want to be. Perhaps you were forced to accept what you’re doing because of circumstances.

There are only two good options for you: either leave what you’re doing to pursue what you love OR learn to adapt, enjoy, and love what you do. Both requires good appreciation of yourself and your environment; and sufficient confidence to choose what makes you happy (which may involve compromising). Don’t forget people’s lives depend on your choice! In other words, doing what you’re not exactly interested in may lead you to ‘killing’ other people for a living. And I’m not sure you want to deliberately make it your life’s mission to be killing other human beings to survive.

Most people don’t do what they love and haven’t learned to love what they do. This mismatch in what people actually do and what they would have loved to do is the reason why some people frustrate and mistreat their customers, clients, friends, students or pupils, coworkers, families and so on. They are simply passing their frustration to others.

Actually, I don’t regret the path I chose and I hope you don’t regret yours too. So I’m sorry mama! I didn’t disobey you deliberately. I know your advice was for good. I didn’t want what I do to cause pain to people I’m supposed to make happy. I believe you prioritized my education so I can be greater than you were. That education has taught me to strive to be the best at anything I do. And that’s exactly what I’m doing!

By: Mustapha Bin Usman
The author is a writer, entrepreneurship expert and coach, entrepreneur, farmer, trainer, and teacher. You may contact him via email: [email protected] or on Mobile/ WhatsApp: 0246134798 or visit his Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/theusmanconsulting/