What Do You Do When Life Turns Sour

Stacy M. Amewoyi

A feeling or an expression of resentment, disappointment or anger can be termed as sour. A life gone sour or a sour life could also be when life become less enjoyable, pleasant or good.

When there is enough trouble at every angle, when the love you look so much forward to comes to an abrupt halt and the relationship at the work place begins to go bad, one’s world could look hopeless at that stage. These are stages where you would hear the common phrase of, “I now believe my life is gone sour.”

They are moments of mistrust and misjudgment; a period of disgust and hatred, frustration and bitterness, unhealthy competition and enviousness and at worst the contemplation on suicide.

One common mistake we make is the fact that, we think we are in charge, but in actual sense we are not. We believe to have made the perfect plans but on the scheduled day, there goes a heavy downpour.

We are bugged with this unknown sickness all of a sudden, or our reliance absents himself, or even the lights go off. Terrifying is the traffic jam. I just want to remind you that you are never in charge of anything in this world, not even your life.

The good book says that, though we may make all the plans, it is our good Lord who perfects them all. So you can plan all you can, get all the links, but if it’s not in the will of God, your plans will come to ruin.

No matter the backup plans you make, just come to an understanding that, you live in an imperfect world. Circumstances go awry and people do stupid things, that’s life, and that’s how it is.

The adventures of life are to learn. The purpose of life is to grow; the nature of life is to change. The challenges of life are to overcome the essence of life is to care, the opportunity of life is to serve, the secret of life is to dare, the spice of life is to befriend and the beauty of life is to give.

Let’s learn to give glory to God in all of these by picking up the pieces left and making a better return from learning from our mistakes. Another thing is to surround ourselves with people who uplifts our spirits not dumping them. It is a perfect choice. It could be your spouse, siblings or parents.

Healthy friendships are built on mutual good will, so it’s not unreasonable to feel hurt by inconsiderate behavior, but it is unreasonable to feel that your friends are obligated to you.

If a friend lets you down, it’s disappointing for sure, but you’re not entitled to some sort of emotional compensation. If you are in a friendship with someone who repeatedly takes more than they give, the purposeful thing to do is to stop giving so much and re-evaluate the friendship. Not get angry and seek reparation or retribution.

The more you know who you are and what you want, the less things upset you. You have to let people go, everyone who is in your life is meant to be in your journey but not all of them are meant to stay till the end.

Men marry women with the hope, that they will never change, women marry men with the hope that they will change, invariably, they are both disappointed. Albert Einstein. Therefore, don’t rely on someone else for your happiness or self-worth, only you can be responsible for that.

Pain changes people, it makes them trust less, overthink more and shut people out. Hence, when you find no solution to a problem in life, it’s probably not a problem to be solved but rather a truth to be accepted.

With that notwithstanding, if uncertainty is high, the constant internal churn of thwarted desire can curdle into resentment. Elation turns to anger and instead of pleasant daydream fantasies, rumination becomes more bitter.

But responding by giving in to those resentments is a big mistake, and a major barrier to recovery. You are only hurting yourself, it robs you of your agency making a belief that, the sourness has power over you, but no. Your giving in, has rather rendered you powerless.

A thousand words will not leave so deep an impression as one’s deed, meaning actions have a greater impact on a person. “They hurt me so I’ll hurt them back” is a pretty toxic thought.

It can lead you to do things that compromise your integrity out of misplaced indignation and the belief that it’s okay to punish others for their bad behavior. Escalating revenge is a spiral you don’t want to get caught up in.

Who you used to be no longer exist, so stop reliving the past. Though the pain may cause so much damage, disallow it from taking center stage of your life. Focus on those that brighten you up and move on. Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass but learning to dance in the rain.

You were never created to be depressed, defeated, guilty, condemned, ashamed or unworthy. You are victorious. Seek to be the best, not arrogantly or in a crooked manner, but what refreshes your own soul.

If you can’t love and respect yourself, no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are completely, the good and the bad, and make changes as you see fit not because someone else wants you to be different.

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. It can be helpful to take those feelings of anger and frustration and use them to realize that it isn’t this hugely desirable person.

Recognize that, the sick feelings of resentment are coming from your decision to stay connected to them. Come to terms that if you continue to indulge with that obsession, those gross feelings are going to carry on.

By choosing to continue a relationship with your sourness, you are inviting in these awful feelings. You can use that to teach yourself that being around pain makes you feel bad.

The solution, of course, is to stop being around things that put you down. Relief from your sourness means liberation from those bitter thoughts and feelings. It’s the classic message of recovery: don’t look to them to save you, just go ahead and save yourself.

Obstacles bind us together, strengthening the foundation of disallowing it overcome you and having the urge to moving on without looking back at the faults, introduces you to a more optimistic and happy life. Lean not on your understanding either but put God first.