22.10.2022 Feature Article

How to deal with Opponents and Enemies in Your Family and Families?

How to deal with Opponents and Enemies in Your Family and Families?
22.10.2022 LISTEN

My first and foremost advice is to assume they are opponents that you may win over through the right steps, but reality is they can be already enemies or grow to be enemies, especially if you /they miss the right steps. Even atheists will agree you may have enemies within your inner family, but both the Bible and Koran also admit to that fact, but the remedies in the two popular books may differ. Considering human family, everyone is your family, but some people are closer Families. The blood family may be very vital, but it is one that comes through the 'fun' branch to be further tested in the learning and working families, then some other fun Families, sometimes including a new blood family . Didn't your parents had fun until they had you as family? As children you may fought unnecessarily, but why do you fight as adult offspring? It is a world of should , can, and want; but humans have different leanings or values on the three, especially on wants. The arrogance of imposing wants, the unnecessary fear of should , can, and want of minorities, etc can bring problems in blood Families, school Families, working families, between citizens, etc. Over expectations are sometimes big issues even in a relationship of just two, so where you expect your family to push with you can be a just, unjust, or tolerable expectation. This is why ch.103 is a consistent huge blessing, but interpreting it requires conscience or ready to grow conscience.

Mathew 10:36: 'And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household.' Well, that is just a 'what', how to deal with them should have followed. Ch. 64:14 of the Recitation (Koran): 'O you who believe! Among your partners and your children are enemies to you, so be aware of them. But if you pardon, and overlook, and forgive -- God is forgiver and Merciful.' Still relatively vague , but have very good hints. 'Be Aware ' is to be cautious and that can mean up to separation. The other words are very self explanatory and is certainly referring to the opponent type of family, not enemies . The root word of enemy in Arabic includes opponents, so translators can choose what they deem most befitting. The very next verse, 64:15: 'Your possessions and your children are a test, but with God is a splendid reward.' Wealth and children are big desires , but acquiring and managing them often include choices God will have to judge. The number of people who over value wealth and children will surpass those who under value them, or why even the LGBTQ are seeking children?

Parents preferring one child over another can sometimes start with gender, and often for wealth. In places like Africa, where communal living is very strong, some parents or even siblings may prefer the richer offspring and find excuses to discriminate , look down, or even abuse poorer ones. Ch. 103 will demand a victim before punishment, and to still fulfil the responsibility of 'Exhort each other to Truth and patience...' Both Truth and Patience are major branches with many sub branches. Sometimes just talking it out and having patience for one to grow, or speak Truth and separate for God to judge?

The school and work Families are largely under government, but even more under God. How we act matters, and how we react can sometimes be most paramount. Majority is not always right, from rules to laws. The family rules at home or company rules at work can ignore 'should ' and biasly or blindly leans on 'wants'. You can also have cliquey allies at work, just like we see countries do at international stages . When I started selling appliances as commission employee, the people I found were not very welcoming and I had to fight in the spirit of ch.103. One Sunday, a group of them went to report me to our supervisor, literally lying that I was being unfair. The fact was God was just helping me, I successfully sold a customer while they were talking to customers, then I went to another customer and successfully sold again. So two sales within thirty minutes and somehow not one of them succeeded with their customers, and jealousy or fear affected them. Indeed I believe in efforts, but luck truly exist and God can give it to you as test for you and/or others. When a group of fairly successful sales people for years report a rookie on alleged malpractices , the supervisor may blindly believe Majority or investigate for evidence? They have blood Families at home to feed, but the work and work family are all vital aspects of the tests by God. After listening to the supervisor, I wrote what happened and the supervisor was seemingly convinced I was right. Eventually, they accepted me and God gave each of us enough sales for years, we became fairly good families, then God returned me to Africa for further testing?

Many Africans suffer a lot on international stage, but sometimes we are guilty at home through the same mindset. Many Africans make too many unnecessary rules and laws, especially against minorities. Many Africans focus too much on wants, ignoring should and tolerance. Like I often said, some of our children of other races are not innocent and sometimes worse than us.

You can study your children at home and make rules that may affect one over another, and claim equal treatment? Similarly, you can see your whites or females prefer alcohol and urge for its legalisation, and ask society to tolerate and pursue super abusers through charges... Fear or sheer hatred may see blacks prefer cannabis and you call for its prohibition, indifferent to the disproportionate effects of the law, and claim equality? The law should not be above anyone, but between creatures and with just consideration of all parties, even before created. Beside intentional wrongs, once you understand humans can be sincerely mistaken, then you should humbly embrace patience where you cannot clearly Identify a victim who needs help. Remember 'don't want ' by one or group of people is not enough to deny others their God given rights or responsibilities. No form of family is above ch.103 and your rules should always accommodate this special chapter, or the family may become lost. People will get angry even over truth, so trying to satisfy the wants of questionable family members can defeat you.

Intentions versus effects: the saying, 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions...' is simply telling you intentions may not be enough, although very vital. When some African parents wanted to over protect their daughters and chose FGM, they had good intentions, but how was the effects even on earth? Hell. When the u.s prohibited alcohol, they probably had Good intentions, but the effects was hell or worse than legalising it. So your family rules at home, social media, workplaces, etc may have good intentions or trying to over satisfy a questionable majority, but if it misses ch.103, then brace for a nasty surprise, unless you learn... If you separate, God will likely judge and those who cannot tolerate even beneficial things due to worshipping of desires or wants are in gross errors...

Unity versus harmony, versus tolerance: I have often said 'fools love for unity brings disunity.' This does not mean I hate unity, I think training our minds to value harmony and tolerance is safer than unity. A macro example is how the states in the u.s Identify where each state decides on some issues and the federal decide on others. It is largely brilliant, but the person have rights that the state or federal family should not violate. You cannot make the laws out of fear, greed, and arrogantly expect people to follow. One day, God will inspire someone to say the law is wrong, educate others, and bravely fight to success. The majority may count on visible powers, ability to oppress minority, or indifferent to expelling the 'Edward Snowdens.' Too long, too much, of a wrong thing cannot make a wrong thing a right thing. Whereas the word tolerance largely means imperfection, the tolerated may be better at times. The Bible tells us: 'the rejected stone has become the head corner stone'. The Koran tells us, 'the people of heaven where looked down upon as fools...' My point is tolerance is an aspect of kindness and humility, it is largely for others to learn and grow, but the one tolerating may also learn and grow. We can co-exist diversely in the world of fun+, so remember Truth, tolerance, and patience as super good deeds, while unity as good deed. Where the 'can' is one choice, then majority have to choose; but where 'can' can be multiple choices, then avoid asking minority to sacrifice for majority? Families must tolerate to grow, or separate In peace and search for a family or God. Blood is not the primary family in the sight of the God of the Koran, or why Noah was told his blood son 'is not his Family. '

So when I am defeating my u.s family on marijuana legalisation and trying to defeat my SeneGambian+ families, ch.103 becomes a crucial tool. What kind of a family will support a law that wants to put me or my type in the worst place on earth, prison? Opponent or enemy, you force me to report you to God and confront you on world stage, Internet. Everyday my prayer is for my opponents to change or God's curse be upon them. I did no wrong to the Gambia or xyz, so laws that are based on wants will be confronted from every corner, blood family level to world and God's court level. May God bless us with Showlove Trinity : Let's learn, let's work, let's have fun, as family and families.

By Jarga Kebba Gigo

An Activist and Transformer

Optional note :

Although you have family members who will shoot you with a gun or poison you, they are very minimal and not worth to be the focus. There are other Verses in the Koran that warrants killing siblings who attack you in the battle field, because faith divided just like Jesus famously said, 'I come to set brother against brother...' It is not only faith that may divide, but you can have divisions on faith and not fight, but exercise patience. Seeking the good deed call money can divide people, but can also unite, or some will employ patience where it divides. The biggest divider is truth, it is aspects of truth in faith that divides, but even secular truth can be very divisive, but uplifting in a family willing to learn. The primary purpose of truth is not to divide, but rejecting truth In arrogant desires is the problem. So cowards who lean on unity cannot like the responsibility 'to exhort each other to Truth...', which does not mean fighting, but certainly far from pampering language. Ch. 17: 'Truth has come, falsehood must disappear, for falsehood was meant to disappear...'. This is like a guarantee that truth will always or often win, if you were to marry the Verses to ch.103. When truth comes, it may conquer immediately or be tested with patience. So when you discover the truth, even as a minority, speak it as you want to save the majority, but also strong enough as you are ready to fight the majority until they accept truth and where patience is due... Remember, patience can be very dangerous too and have many branches for different purposes. Act and act enough before you employ patience, and the patience you give to disbelievers and hypocrites are actually for earthly peace. It does not stop you from speaking truth or refusing to learn where need be, or doubting the surprise that may await them.

You must gauge the choice on the guarded bog or WWbogBB: Worst, Worse, bad, OK, good, Better, or Best. So if your close sibling make a good choice, how hard do you have to beat him or her as a perfectionist, coward, or greedy and arrogant rectifier? If a far sibling make an OK choice in the workplace, how will you advise or report to supervisors? The worse and worst are sins between creatures, and the scriptures said love truth and justice even against your parents, siblings, etc. Blood is sweet, humans tend to side with blood ties, but exhorting them to truth and patience will help at least one group, and may hurt only the rejecters of truth.

Truth is like the Bridge of Separation on the day of Qiyamma. The word Qiyamma is often translated as judgement day, but the root word means what you stood/stand for, among others. When you come to truth or bridge of separation, and you stubbornly hang on to faith, faith, faith; or tolerance, tolerance, tolerance to reject vivid truth, then your few aspects of good deeds may gradually disappear... Believe in intelligence, especially faith; believe in good deeds, especially prayers and charity; Believe in truth, especially in conscience and reciprocal law. Then may God ease your part of patience and reward us immensely than those who have billions or even helped millions of poor people...