Miss Malaika Ghana 2010 was not exactly an African beauty pageant

Ama Nettey,winner of Miss Malaika Ghana 2010

Although I am unrepentant in my belief that beauty pageants are necessary as they inject some fun into a stressful life routine throughout the year, I have never won an argument with my friends on the subject. Some 'interesting' things that happened at the finale of Miss Malaika Ghana 2010 are not enough to break my resolve on beauty pageants but a few things need to be pointed out for posterity sake.

I got there with a pretty huge Panasonic camera with a battery, the size of a phone. I thought I was well dressed, at least for an event which will start late in the evening. A blue jeans and a brown long sleeve shirt with a white t-shirt tucked underneath: I was not out of place.

Just what I expected when I got there; a bevy of ladies dressed to kill and to perhaps, have fun. Guys who came to help their ladies get better guys, and a few men dressed like women, talking like women and walking like women. I did not say what you are thinking!

I asked around for the official in charge of the media but it was not until I had gone to sit on a VIP seat when a light skinned lady walked up to me, bent towards my face, as if to whisper in my ears and says, “these seats are reserved”. I felt a bit uncomfortable but it was the truth. I mean, I am not a movie star or a musician or even Agya Koo's competitor.

The lady graciously pointed to a bespectacled lady, just like yours truly, who seemed to be welcoming guests. The extremely courteous lady told me what arrangements have been made for the media.

So I went to take my seat on the first chair on the second row at the left side of the dome.

A very known comedian on television took his position right in front of me and received his share of homage from all who passed. Just then two ladies: Wait a minute; I will give you a vivid description.

One was light skinned and as though she was saying “watch but don't touch”, she strutted her things in a golden African print adorned with spots of silver glitters. I am sure the attire was sewn with a cloth not longer than half a yard. Just picture what she looked like in half a yard of a cloth. No, not a skirt!

The other was neither light skinned nor dark. She was in a black apparel that stopped just below her hip and the back of the dress had been cut in a V-shape with the lower portion ending just above her butts. I sighed at the sight of this but my thought was ferried away by the sound from the PA systems heralding the arrival of the beauty queens.

Just when the event was about to start at 21:16GMT, there was a deafening boom and “Aboagye da Silva's” voice which was introducing the programme went dead for another 38 minutes. The engineers run around to solve the technical hitch and the programme took off at about 21:54GMT. That is normal in Ghana, right?

Our Indian Queens












Miss Malaika doing the Hindi dance







Our Malaika delegates arrived in a horse-driven cart and were ushered out by a guy who could have done better with his blazer. He looked like a bouncer without the finesse of a special escort (I don't mean a prostitute).

The first Ghanaian crowd reaction: “eehee” reverberated in the audience as the first delegate to come out of the cart almost twisted her legs whiles trying to catwalk. The second was soon to follow.

My first reaction when I saw the damsels was, hell no! For the life of me, are we depicting another country's heritage or we have become Indians. Yes, the choreography at the beginning of the programme was good but throughout the show, the ladies were made to dress as Indian movie stars in their haute couture. Admittedly, they looked great but do we notice that we are selling some other country's fashion? I am not sure the organisers thought about the repercussions of such a move.

They danced to Hindi tunes and wriggled their waists, albeit amateurishly, like Indians.

Brain Power
Then the time came for them to showcase their intelligence. I admit that stage fright can be very troubling especially when you are facing a hostile audience made up of very opinionated Ghanaians. They will boo at you at every single slip and will make sure you are discouraged. Funny enough it was exactly what some of the ladies faced. Even Naa Ashorkor had a fair share of the audience's holier-than-thou posture.

In any case, what in God's name is wrong with the Ghanaian audience? They will not applaud after a performance and when they are implored to do so, you will hear only pockets of applauds. At some point I thought the audience was scorning Naa Ashorkor. She also made matters worse with the overemphasis on words and phrases and the loud voice. But I was really impressed as it was her first big stage performance as a compere alongside Chris “Fine Boy” Attoh in front of a 3000 crowd.

If we want our pageants to be more exciting, the ladies need to be groomed well to handle heckling better than they did on Saturday night. You can put your last penny in a bet that a Ghanaian audience will heckle and laugh at any individual on stage. Go ask Attah Mills what the Ghana lawmakers did to him in Parliament. Leave me out of this controversy.

Who is an African
Then came the one-on-one champagne-question segment where Chris Attoh dressed in a shinny black suit would engage the girls. They were nervous and tensed. It was evident in how they held the wine glasses for the champagne. What the heck was that guy doing on stage and who is in charge of his costume? I mean the guy who was pouring the champagne. No further comment.

I was appalled by the answers to the question:
“Who is an African, and what makes you an African, country of birth or colour….”

As Chris kept reading out the question to delegate after delegate, It dawned on me that, the girls were either too nervous to listen to the question or they were unintelligent. One delegate even had the nerve to describe an African as someone who is black. And what is it with “belief and values” that some of them kept mentioning?

Ama went close but did not really exhaust the question. Understandably so, some comments received after the story about the new Miss Malaika was posted, clearly showed how angry some patrons of the programme were. After the show, I asked a couple of people what they felt about the event and one thing run through the answers provided. People were not happy with the quality of answers the ladies gave to all the issues.

Did I hear John Dumelo say “explain your answer with an explanation” after asking one of his questions, or was he reading? Was that written for him or it just came out.

All in all, I think Miss Malaika Ghana 2010 was more of Miss India 2010 without the brain that we have seen from past delegates. The music was more exciting than the performance of the ladies. For me Mr. Capable was the best act of the night. He had enough energy and style and got the crowed cheering to a song that is largely unknown. I would not entirely blame organizers for the dull presentations of the ladies. I think the ladies should have done better on their own.

I know Miss Malaika is not another version of Ghana's Most beautiful but it could be a lot more African if they are projecting the values of the continent.