Asiedu Nketia and the Case for a Presidential Fattening Diet

Ghanaian politics never fails to entertain. Just when you think you have seen it all, along comes Chairman Johnson Asiedu Nketia, General Mosquito, buzzing with sharp retorts, clever quips, and a sense of humour that can disarm even his fiercest critics.

For years, he has been the NDC’s chief strategist, forever lean and wiry, forever in control of the political sting.

But now the political rumour mill has taken things up a notch. Whispers are circulating that the General may be warming up for something much bigger than press conferences and party meetings. Could it be that the mosquito has set his eyes on Flagstaff House itself?

A mosquito with big ambitions
If Ghanaian politics were a circus, Chairman Asiedu Nketia would be the nimble acrobat, light on his feet, quick with his tongue, and always able to wriggle out of the tightest corner. His lean figure has become part of his identity, almost as famous as his stinging one-liners and fearless approach to political debate.

Yet the question remains: how will a mosquito measure up in a political landscape where presence and stature have always counted for so much?

The problem of presidential stature
In Ghana, size is not just a matter of tailoring. It is a matter of politics. Our unspoken tradition is that presidents must look the part. The image of a leader is often bound up with substance, weight, and a reassuring physical presence that suggests the ability to carry the burdens of the state.

History is littered with examples. President Kufuor was so amply built that he was affectionately called the gentle giant. Professor Mills, though more modest in his academic frame, carried enough reserves to endure the heavy ceremonial duties of state. President Mahama today combines energy with a reassuring solidity, a leader whose very stature suggests the winds of politics do not easily topple him. Former President Akufo-Addo, meanwhile, left behind a belly so stubborn that at times it seemed to be contesting elections of its own.

Then there was Jerry John Rawlings, the great exception. With his lean soldier’s physique, piercing eyes, and volcanic charisma, Rawlings showed that a flat belly could still carry a fiery revolution. But Rawlings was not just slim. He had presence, voice, and authority in overwhelming supply. Without that level of charisma, it is difficult to imagine a mosquito-sized man commanding similar awe at Flagstaff House.

From mosquito to presidential material

Chairman Mosquito’s wiry build may be perfect for darting around the political ring, but to many Ghanaians, it does not quite scream “commander-in-chief.” Were he to stride into Flagstaff House today, the presidential chair might easily mistake him for a junior officer rather than its rightful occupant.

If his ambition truly lies in that direction, then transformation is essential. He must prepare himself for the ultimate banquet: the presidential fattening diet.

The presidential fattening diet
The meal regime is uncompromising but straightforward. Breakfast would no longer be a light engagement with tea and bread. Instead, the day must begin with three heavy balls of kenkey, escorted by tilapia swimming in palm oil and shito strong enough to make a trotro mate cry. By nine o’clock, his waistband should already be under visible strain.

Lunch would be no gentler. A mountain of fufu would be served, afloat in abenkwan so thick that stirring it would require naval equipment. Goat meat would be compulsory, for no serious campaign can be sustained without it. Supper would crown the day with banku and okro stew, fried yams and chofi, and, for national harmony, a diplomatic plate of jollof rice.

Snacks would keep the momentum alive. Meat pies, roasted plantain, sobolo, and emergency waakye reserves would fill the hours between meals. Ambition, after all, cannot survive on thin air.

And exercise would be carefully calibrated: no jogging, no skipping, and certainly no press-ups. Instead, long siestas would be compulsory to convert every carbohydrate into presidential gravitas. Only when his suits threaten rebellion at the seams will General Mosquito have completed the presidential diet regime.

Towards Flagstaff House
If this roadmap is followed faithfully, Ghana could, within four years, witness a truly remarkable transformation. General Mosquito would become a leader of stature, striding into Flagstaff House not only with sharp wit but also with a physical presence commanding the respect of IMF delegations and foreign dignitaries alike.

Imagine the campaign slogan: “From Mosquito to Commander-in-Chief Proportions - Ready to Lead Ghana!”

Does size really matter?
Still, it must be said that size is not everything. A single mosquito can keep an entire household awake at night, buzzing, humming, and stinging until all rest is gone. And Rawlings taught the nation that fire in the belly matters more than the belly itself.

That may be the lesson of Asiedu Nketia: never underestimate a mosquito. He may be small, but he has always found a way to make his presence felt.