Choosing Marriage

Why are you working like a slave? You go to work and have to come home to cook and do dishes and other chores. Your freedom of movement has reduced because of marriage, and you always talk about going to the house early to do your wifely duties.

You have to take care of the kids, wash clothes, clean the house, and go to the market for foodstuff alone. Marriage life must be hard for you, I do not envy you at all, and your marriage is not the kind of marriage, I want. My dear married friend is acquainted with these issues, and sometimes wonder why people cannot mind their business.

She listens to all these things daily as a married woman. People assume she is unhappy because of the chores and all that comes with being married in an African society. The truth is, she has always wanted to get married and have a family. So the fact that she is married with two kids means she has achieved her dream.

She is respected by society as a responsible married woman, and that is what is important to her. She cares and lives by the rules of society. Being married and with kids is an achievement, and that feeling, acceptance, and acknowledgment are too great to ignore.

I mean, who does not want to be accepted and respected by society? Not her. She does not have to worry about people asking her questions such as. When are you getting married? When will you give birth? She is free from the endless harassment that comes with being a single woman.

Before you decide to judge her, understand that she is content within her marriage and is respected and accepted by society. She is excited to have a family, and that is all she ever wants. So it does not matter to her if she has to work tirelessly for 24 hours. It does not matter that she is the only one that does the household chores even though she equally works and comes home at the same time with the husband.

She does not worry about washing her husband's clothes, cooking for him, serving him food, and cleaning after him. She knows and understands it is part of marriage and therefore is willing to go through it. It is her life and if she finds nothing wrong with that, who are you to tell her how to live her life? She may not want the same things as you, but that does not make her less human.

Appreciate that not everyone perceives life the same way you do. You have to understand that different people have different dreams, goals, interests, and priorities. So when you are happy because you are achieving your dreams and goals, do not presume someone with different interests and goals is less successful and unhappy.

For all you know, they are satisfied, content and happy with what they have. Therefore being married is a choice worth pursuing but not an achievement. You should decide the kind of marriage you want and let other people do the same. She has no regrets ever making that choice. She is happy being married, so all she asks for is love and acceptance from her loved ones.

It is her life, so anything concerning her should be about her, her happiness and choices. Nobody has the right to take anything about her life personally. So instead of being concern about her life choices, if you have the time, worry about yourself and stop dictating to people how they should live their lives. Remember that it is their lives and not yours.