THE INTERCOURSE OF TROUBLED THOUGHTS: Excerpts

SECTION TEN
You have your way, I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist: FRIEDRICH NIETZACHE

Chapter Four
LAGOS, NIGERIA.

“Peter Jasper Akinola remains head of the Anglican Communion Nigeria. Voted by Time magazine as one of the 100 most influential leaders last year, he withstood the Archbishop of Canterbury who is supposed to be the global leader of Anglicanism over the ordination of gay priests. At the last but one Lambert Conference, he made life uncomfortable for Williams. At the last one, he stole the show from Williams by staying away! When Gene Robinson was made a bishop in New Hampshire, Akinola went to the trenches, marshalled enough conservative support from Africa, Asia, the USA and the Caribbean and rubbished the Archbishop of Canterbury who wanted the Anglican Communion to let homosexual priests be. Today, many Episcopalians in the USA have transferred allegiance from Canterbury to various dioceses in Africa. You may do well to remember that these rebels control the dioceses with growing populations and thus are the future face of Anglicanism. To my great discomfort, Akinola controls about one fifth of the world's Anglicans!” Fred was alarmed. “By Madonna, this man is a very dangerous number for gays. Anyway, I am happy that he will soon retire. I will watch him before he runs amok against us. Tell me about the next criminal.” Tammy felt for Fred. “Matthew Ashimolowo just refuses to live his age! He's a stubborn quantity. The fool is over 60 years but he functions with the savvy mentality of a twenty something year old nerd. A bastard product of the Foursquare Gospel Church, he mutated into international superstar status as the founder of London based KICC, the largest Pentecostal church in Europe. His church has become the first point of call for many expatriate Africans in the UK. His exploits in Christendom are legendary. His TV teaching programmes are wildly popular in four continents. I was happy when he had problems with the UK authorities but he managed to sort himself out. Infact, he came out of it richer and stronger, wanting to buy a good chunk of the City of London! To God's glory, he failed. Pastor Matthew is in unholy alliance with many top American Pentecostal mandarins like Mike Murdock, Huanita Bynum, Ron Kenoly, T. D. Jakes, Creflo Dollars, the Winnas family and Joyce Meyers. That man just refuses to be his age; he refuses to allow modernity to pass him over! Pastor Matthew continues to poison the minds of gullible youths worldwide with a very flourishing book ministry that sells in the thousands and is very well known as a speaker, teacher and evangelist. He is a danger to everything we represent. I even hear that he has a prayer anointing!”

Fred was highly alarmed. “I thought that oil and fraud are the only products from Nigeria plus its excellent students I schooled with here in the USA. In school, Nigerians along with Jews, Asians and Chinese dusted Americans in all subjects. We will hang onto Pastor Matthew like flea. Please tell about the wickedness of Enoch.” Tammy was unsure, but continued.

“Pastor Enoch Adeboye gives me serious heartache. This man in my view is the biggest danger from the Nigerian General Staff Command of Big Religion but he masks it with a deceptive humility. A brilliant mathematician turned preacher, an academic who decamped to the pulpit, he took a small nondescript first generation home grown Pentecostal cult and re-branded it in his mathematical precision. First, he opened what he called 'model parishes' and after he had sucked in millions of ignorant youths into his vortex, he locked them in! The genius of this academic apostate is that he married the traditional church worship practices with the novelty of his model outreaches and today, it is safe to say that his Redeemed Christian Church of God, RCCG, is the biggest Pentecostal army on planet earth. The CNN credits his dubious programmes at the Redemption Camp with audiences of about five to seven million dupes at each event. Some observers put his December programmes at drawing up to ten million gullibles! With over 80,000 parishes in over 120 countries worldwide, he aims to have a member in every household on planet earth. He is well on his plan to have his church planted within five minutes walking distance in the Third World and five minutes driving time in the developed world. With big book and satellite TV ministries, a well regarded university challenging our way of life, junior and senior secondary schools poisoning youths, surplus cash, zealous master sergeants and a gullible world, 'Daddy GO' as he is deceptively known, is Big Religion's Big Brother gazing on our accursed asses! Adeboye's wife Folu is venerated by his dupes as 'Mummy GO'! He is building a big spread in Texas, about 5,000 acres of New Heaven! The Redemption Camp in Ogun State, Nigeria is one of the biggest settlements in Africa. I heard in Lagos that other camps are being built. The danger this turncoat preacher presents can be gauged from the fact that HRH Prince Charles, heir to the British throne whose mother HRM Queen Elizabeth 11 is the titular head of the church of England, went to the chief UK parish of this cult in London to celebrate his 60th birthday! I was hopeful that the furore over a Gulfstream jet he allegedly bought would damage his person but I am sorry it failed. Recently, in a poll organised by Nigeria's leading entertainment group and a prominent newspaper, 'Daddy G. O.' was voted with a wide margin by Nigerians as the country's living legend!”

A whistle of shock escapes from Fred's mouth. Dizzy, he staggered a bit. Dry lipped, he stammered a little. “Jesus Christ! Prince Charles went to this abominable RCCG for his birthday thanksgiving service! Rowan Williams ought to be out of job now! If Buckingham Palace and Canterbury is hypnotized by Pastor Enoch, well I am not! Why must Akinola, Ashimolowo, and Adeboye be left in peace to run riot all over the United Kingdom? These three 'As' are the three unholy tenors from Nigerian Christianity and we must make them loose their repertoire! Please spill the beans on the next culprit, you called him a David.” Tammy quickly gave her report. “Yes, David Oyedepo is his name. The crazy baldhead who is a trained professional in the building industry was already on his way to professional excellence before he went mad! He founded Winners Chapel! But the madness of this prolific writer and suave preacher worries me. Within twenty five years of teaching abomination which he parades as the message of prosperity, he built the largest single church in the world! The 50,000 seat Faith Tabernacle at Canaanland; the headquarters of Living Faith World Outreach Centre A. K. A. Winners Church in Lagos is as much a feat of evangelism as of social engineering. I hear that worshippers are now overflowing onto the grounds because of under-capacity in his two Sunday services! Like his brother criminal Pastor Adeboye, he runs secondary schools through his wife Faith. The self-appointed deliverer of the down-trodden is the Chancellor of Covenant University owned by his church. I heard that his sons are in the top management of his ministry. Personally blessed with prolific writing gifts, Bishop Oyedepo runs a flourishing book ministry and other ancillary businesses all powered by one the most sophisticated computer system and business models. Dr. David Oyedepo is in league with global Christian terrorists like Dr. Myles Munroe, Dr. Mensah Otabih, the Copelands and the Haggins families to pollute the grounds that gays walk on. Brazenly; Canaanland, the international headquarters of his burgeoning ministry is of undeterminable large acreage in Ota, a town which the Yoruba ethnic group of Nigeria call Satan's headquarters! Oyedepo has survived serious crisis in the Ghana branch of his church that challenged his leadership traits. He emerged from a serious affliction that almost claimed his wife's life with new strength. Some pundits put him as the second richest pastor on planet earth after Kenneth Copeland. His acolytes who call him 'Papa' are a worldwide cult of rich confident dupes who go about in fashionable wears, flowery tongues and confident gaits. His wife and children's high profile positions in the church give it the colour of a family owned business.” Frederick lost some colour. “Why have we wasted time in the gay community with the terrible dangers these Nigerian faith warriors present? This explains why all Christian terrorists of note in the USA are always on flights to Nigeria! I will definitely keep busy with events in Nigerian churches. Please tell the offence of that Daniel something!”

In growing discomfort, Tammy adjusted her sitting position. “Dr. Daniel Olukoya is the name of this incinerator! Holy Ghost fire, thunder of God, blood of Jesus and all the sulphuric elements in-between, from the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah to the coming Armageddon, is the DNA of this unusual prophet. His fiery trademark judgement is death by pure liquid fire of his God! Fortunately for him and to the great peril of gays, Satan and hell has no fire service to stop the destructive binges of this bespectacled mad prophet. His simple mien conceals the fact that he an unrepentant spiritual killer, an undiluted prayer assassin, the Holy Ghost's hired gun, God's favourite terrorist and Jesus' cold consigliore.The world is yet to awake fully to the great dangers this fasting machine portends. Like Paul the Apostle, he has turned Christendom upside down with his unique prayer points, fervent mode of praying instant death on his enemies and deliverance sessions marked by wind, fire, hail and brimstones. His church is 'a-do-it-yourself prayer ministry, devoted to the revival of apostolic signs and wonders, where your hands are trained to war and your arms are trained to fight.' And my dear friend, witches, wizards and all workers of sin {read sodomy i.e. gays} are the subject and object of his unceasing holy war. Gays are high on the list of infidels and satanic agents that must 'die by fire'! He is a homosceptic of the first order! For this angry prophet, 'enough is enough!' To tell you the truth, I won't like to cross path with Dr. Daniel Olukoya. Even in a dream, I won't ever go near his church, the Mountain of Fire and Miracles Ministries, MFM. I will get electrocuted instantly! I have heard from very reliable sources what that horrible church did to its enemies. Once they shout 'what are you waiting for, fall down and die,' fiery judgement comes on their unfortunate victims. MFM members resolutely refuse to make accommodation with the trappings of modernity seen in the other cults. To my great sorrow, their dangerous way of prayer is now being employed by other sects. Apostle Joseph Babalola, the late founder of the Christ Apostolic Church, CAC and a noted Christian terrorist is Dr. Olukoya's 'father in the Lord Jesus!' The tragedy of all this is that this man could have done something better with his fine education. An accomplished molecular biologist, Dr. Olukoya earned a first class in his first degree and at 27 years of age, he took a PhD from a top UK university. As a scientist, he has over seventy published papers to his credit before he went off track into the infamy he calls full-time ministry! I warn you with my heart in my mouth to be very careful of this cursing prophet, his wife Shade and his church. Don't let them know that you are investigating them or they will fry you in a cauldron of boiling oil or roast you in a special hell fire! And don't let them know that I talked with you. I hear that death is not even the end of suffering for their enemies. According to Dr. Olukoya, 'death is just a change of address. All other particulars remain valid!'”

Fred was now sweating profusely. “What has come over these Nigerians? I want to stop their alliance with America's Bible belt, Moral Majority activists, televangelists and other Christian conservative trash. Honestly, we must stop them urgently. Jumping Jesus, I have an urgent task at hand. Please tell me about the next infidel among them”. Tammy was now cold with fear. “William Folorunsho Kumuyi stands at the head of the conservative storm troopers of Nigerian Pentecostalism. He embodies its holy grail. If any man is its Isaiah, its Jeremiah, its Ezra and its Amos put together, he is the culprit! Fame, women and money are useless tools of enticement before William Kumuyi. Old Testament biblical dogma is alive, well and steady in this apostolic criminal who has not been tainted by any personal scandal in over thirty years as the General Superintendent of the Deeper Life Christian Ministry popularly known as Deeper Life. While many other pastors court the press for the limelight, William Kumuyi is happiest preaching, praying and fasting without television cameras. Showy stagemanship and sound bites are mortal sin, the ways of the heretic in Pastor Kumuyi's way of life. Not for Pastor Kumuyi the message of prosperity being belched out by some of his brother pastors. To this unrelenting pastor, the central message of his Jesus is repentance from sin and eternity with God in heaven! He does not go for the bile of ungodly pursuit of material wealth. He shuns vigorously all trappings of worldliness. It is whispered with respected laughter that armed robbers raided his house some years ago after a major programme by his church. Hoping to cart away truckloads of raw cash, they were sorely disappointed that only books, magazines, periodicals, tracts, tapes, CDs, DVDs, manuscripts and letters were his only earthly goods! They did not find stacks of dollars, euros, pounds sterling, stately wardrobe, precious jewelleries and costly state-of-the-art alloyed four wheel Japanese wonders. The men of menace had figured that as the head of a church with thousands of adherents all over the world, he will indulge in conspicuous consumption like his brother prosperity ministers. They reported lambasted him for living like a pauper and left in great anger and regret. While the wives of many pastors bestrode the pulpits as 'mummies', many members of the Deeper Life Church didn't even know his wife of over thirty years until her death early this year. In an excellent marriage, she bore two handsome boys. Her burial was almost a national affair with government ministers, church leaders, business barons and ex-leaders paying tribute to a woman they regarded as having lived a holy life. While his brother pastors parade their expensively attired wives with the best hairdo, exquisite manicures and showy pedicures as 'Mamas', Mrs Kumuyi operated outside the limelight, editing a well regarded Christian women's journal. While many Nigerian churches are the 'me and my wife church', not so Pastor Kumuyi's ministry. His children are not the finance and administrative directors in the church. A former academic, he taught mathematics in one of Nigeria's oldest university before he got deceived! A sweet fluent writer, he's gifted as an essayist. I hate his messages but I admire his great writing skills. Pastor Kumuyi is a self-appointed judge of sexual mores and in my view; he is the pastor who will hate gays and lesbian longer and harder. The Deeper Life church has not made any accommodation with modernity, the showbiz world and the excesses of the century. From the distinctive non-flamboyant dress pattern of the female folk to their low key lifestyles, they strenuously seek to return to the desert austerity of the Israelites who came out of Egypt.” Fred was now so wet that he removed his shirt. His heart was palpitating. “I don't think I want to hear more of these enemies of Gaydom. O my God, what are we going to do against such a company of conspirators and their wicked messages and discrimination? How can we mount successful attacks against such as austere man? Please spare me further pains I beg you.”

Historian, freelance journalist and writer, Pastor Joseph Emeka Anumboris the author of THE INTERCOURSE OF TROUBLED THOUGHTS, a critically acclaimed discourse on homosexuality published by AuthorHouse Inc, Indiana, USA.