Rahul Mahajan’s May-Be Bride Refuses To Marry HIM!‏!!

rahul, mahajan, swayamvar

There is Rahul Gandhi (39), a politician; Rahul Dravid (37), a cricketer; Rahul Bose (42), actor; Rahul Vaidya (22), singer; Rahul Bhatt (20), fitness trainer/aspiring actor; Rahul Khanna (37), actor; Rahul Roy (42), actor but none to beat Rahul Mahajan (35), a who-body.

Jab miya biwi raazi toh kya karega kaazi
(When husband wife agree, what can anyone do?)

Alas! That is the irony of Rahul Mahajan's life. He is ready but the girls, who responded so eagerly, are getting cold feet. Even before there could be a possible marriage with the bride-to/may-be, the divorce has already taken place. Now you would call this the eighth wonder of the world. I won't, considering the groom, who needs (social) grooming.

Toh Baat Pakki! Nahin. Kachchi.

The three finalists: Nikunj Malik (25), Dimpy Ganguly (21) and Harpreet Chabra (20) are coming to their senses and are realising what they are getting into. Till the time it was all fun and jokes with no commitments, it was alright. It seemed a show (there was no talent to showcase!) to launch themselves before the viewers and garner publicity. That done, they stepped into the finals to be one among the three to garland Rahul.

And the Shakespearean tragedy began to unveil. The girls used to cavorting to Bollywood song and dance and getting used to limelight are getting cold feet. Nikunj Malik in an interview to national English daily has said, “He's put me off. I am not keen to marry him anymore.” Here the drama begins and spice gets spicier.

Malik, graduate of NIFT, Delhi and a fashion designer, is on record saying Mahajan must quit smoking and flirting with other women! (Holy cow!) Malik is not on the show out of her own free will but because of her mother's insistence. But she nails the issue saying even after marriage she will not stop working and will maintain her independence. She is planning to launch her fashion label soon, with or without Rahul.

Wow! That's a brave woman, who has spoken her mind. But (obviously) without consulting Rahul. Shaadi se pehle hi talaaq ho gaya! Or so it would seem.

Imagine what will happen on March 6, when the D-Day arrives and the finalist is chosen to marry? Will it be shaadi ke mandap se dulhan bhaag gayi? Poor Rahul will be left twiddling his thumbs (down).

This is not to say he does not have noble ideas (except there is nothing noble behind them). On February 28 2010, he claimed he wanted to be like Gandhi. (And Malik accuses him of openly flirting with other women and smoking!) God forbid! Our father of the nation wasn't anything like this and would squirm if he comes to know of this highly inequitable comparison. (May his soul rest in peace.)

Another noble idea was to buy a heart-shape (oui!) solitaire ring for his may-be bride on February 25, 2010. Nothing bad about that except the bride(s) are getting cold feet. It won't be difficult to imagine that in just three days all three finalists would disappear like the proverbial horns from a cow's head (not highly improbable.) On February 7 2010 he claimed, “I am getting MARRIED!” Noblest idea indeed! And he wants 'non-itchy wear for his swayamvar'. (Couldn't have asked for better.)

The worst part is 'moonh dikhayi' of the girls. When they are already visible to the entire world on this reality show, what is this farce all about?

What's so great about a divorcee shouting from TV channels about a (future uncertain) second marriage? Wonder why the girls are in their twenties and not in their teens or better still in cradle? Imagine then they can call Rahul (by mistake, of course) pitaji or chachaji or mamaji instead of patiji! Had he been married at the right age, he would be a father of a 10-year old. Think about it (but don't waste your brains on it.)

And the (un)noblest episode was a complaint filed with the Information and Broadcasting Ministry for the immodest portrayal of women on this show. Nothing could be further from truth. Marriage is a holy process. No one should be allowed to make a mockery of it.

And a slight impediment to the farce of the century: Pravin Mahajan (uncle, who killed Rahul's father Pramod) expired on March 3 2010. Will this stop Rahul from tying the knot as the family would be in mourning? Doesn't seem so.

I remember a saying: doli na kahaar, banno baithi taiyaar (There is no horse or its puller but the groom is ready). Poor Rahul! Being on a show enjoying the fun is easy. In real life, it won't be all song and dance. The question is will he get married and how long will the marriage last?

As mentioned, Nikunj Malik is an aspiring fashion designer planning a professional life. Will she be able to devote time to a married life with an equally demanding husband, whom she has already accused?

Dimpy Ganguly has as yet not spoken her mind. She is getting along famously with the groom. And why not considering she is a model and an aspiring actor. What do they say about birds of a feather, flock together.

Harpreet Chabra, (model, anchor) from Delhi is on record saying, “Rahul can marry Dimpy. My life won't stop.” (This is highly uncharitable considering Rahul may select her. Hmm). This is the state of matters just three days away from marriage.

Rahul's future shaadi strongly dangles between abadi or barbaadi. He needs to decide what direction it should take after the nautanki is over.

The luckiest of girls got eliminated. You would ask – why lucky? That's a very bold question after reading the entire story. You won't need a psychiatrist (forget astrologer) to predict the future of this marriage. The answer lies in your heart. As for Rahul, I wish him all the best with a rider: jiska kaam usi ko saajhe, aur kare to danda baaje.

This is instalment 2 of swayamvar 2. Please wait for instalment 3 when matters will be settled for good. So stay tuned till March 6.