Guiding Without Controlling: Parental Influence on University Students’ Career Choices

I had a conversation with one of my former students whom I taught during my teaching practicum. He has been admitted to three different universities, which is certainly something to be proud of. However, he is now faced with a difficult decision.

One of the universities was suggested by his father, who also wants him to pursue a particular program. The challenge is that, although the program is related to what his son wants to study, it is not actually the path his son would prefer to take. This situation got me thinking about how important it is for parents to be involved in the career choices and direction of their children.

Dear parents, your involvement matters. Your experience, support, and guidance can make a significant difference in your child's life. But being involved does not necessarily mean deciding everything for them or forcefully imposing a particular program simply because it is considered prestigious, respectable, or offers better social status.

Career guidance is an important part of a child's development. The right guidance can help students understand their strengths, interests, abilities, and opportunities, and make informed decisions about their future. Unfortunately, while some parents completely neglect this responsibility, others may go to the opposite extreme by making decisions for their children without giving them enough room to express what they genuinely want.

I understand that parents invest heavily in their children's education and naturally want the best for them. But the child's voice also matters.

Sometimes, students simply obey because they do not want to disappoint their parents. They may pursue a path because "Dad wants it" or "Mom thinks it is better," even when it is not what they genuinely want. Over time, this can affect their motivation, confidence, and satisfaction with their education.

If you are unsure about your child's career direction, seek professional career guidance. Have conversations with your child. Speak with their teachers. Understand their strengths, interests, and aspirations before making important decisions on their behalf. And if your child demonstrates genuine passion or strong ability in a particular area and wants to pursue that path, I believe it is only fair to give them the opportunity to do so.

Parents have an important role to play, but that role should be to guide, support, and provide opportunities, not necessarily to choose the destination. Supporting a child does not always mean choosing their path for them. Sometimes, it means helping them understand their options and giving them the confidence and space to choose their own path.

About the author
Stephen Agbemasiku
Founder & Executive Director, STEPBOARD