A Minute Of Gain, A Lifetime Of Pain

Growing up, sex was a theme we never discussed openly, at least not in my home. Like every typical African home, this taboo topic was shrouded in mystery. Unfortunately, many of us had to learn about such a critical subject from the wrong sources.

As a parent today, I will do better. My children must learn about sex from me first. I must teach them the right things before their friends teach them what is wrong. In a world of diversity, equity, and inclusion, I must show them the right path before the media they are exposed to does.

Sex is a gift from God to His creatures. It is a gift that is supposed to bond people until death does them apart. I can imagine what a boring world it would have been without sex ─ as exciting as it may sound.

Even though sex is a great gift, it can be a gift that can destroy people when abused. Imagine buying an expensive birthday gift for somebody. You keep this gift in your home. In haste, they unpack it before their birthday. You will be gravely disappointed. This is a perfect picture of having sex out of wedlock.

When I married, I was a virgin. It was not a choice I made solely based on my faith. I had seen some great people fall into the valley of death because of illegitimate sex. Some lost their worth and wealth courtesy of sexual indiscipline. I have seen great institutions that have been built for decades on the sweat of many destroyed. Thanks to one person’s sexual indiscipline.

Sexual indiscipline affects everybody. When a married man gets entangled with other women, he brings shame to his wife and children. When a married woman goes flirting, she brings into this world children who will suffer for no wrong done when a DNA test exposes her.

One may have mastery over everything. However, the greatest mastery they can ever have is mastery over their desires, especially sexual desires. A (wo)man who has achieved great feats in life but is yet to achieve the feat of controlling their libido will soon destroy all the feats they have achieved. Life’s greatest feat is to conquer oneself.

A minute of pleasure it may be. However, sex outside of the confines of marriage can bring on oneself a lifetime of pain. The wrong sexual desire can take people to the wrong places. Some are in prison because of uncontrolled libido. Some have their lifetime savings because of sex outside of marriage. A minute of gain can cause a whole generation a lifetime of pain!

Each day, I remind myself that I am not above shame and disgrace if I do not control my sexual desires. When I see some side-chicks unapologetically sue married men because of unfulfilled promises, I observe and learn. When I see the dirty deeds of some women leak into the public, it is not time to laugh. It is time to learn. It may be them today. It could be me tomorrow if I do not tame the lion called sexual desire roaring inside of me.

Sex is a double-edged sword. Though a great resource for every marriage, it could be a great resource of shame when enjoyed in a place of hiding. Sex can bring joy to a couple as much as it can bring them pain when one of them goes to enjoy it elsewhere. Sex outside the confines of marriage can break hearts that will take forever to be mended.

A minute of pleasure has destroyed talented people. Just one night stand… and that was how some men innocently sold away all their decades of hard work. In all your getting, get self-control. Do not boast of having a lot of cars and mansions when you have little self-restraint as far as your sexual desires are concerned.

The man who can control his lust is the last man anyone can ever control. When a man takes his emotions into his hands, he has firmly grasped his destiny with both hands. Nothing can take it away from him.

Sexual indiscipline makes a (wo)man vulnerable. They may seem to be conquering the world, but it will take only a day for everything they have worked for to come tumbling down. A man who will fall for every woman will fall into every trouble. Blackmail will be his daily meal. Until he is intentional about self-control, destruction will come upon him unintentionally.

Sexual indiscipline will bring a man to his knees. Despite how much he has built for himself, his addiction will soon tear everything down. The greatest people are not those who have built great businesses and amassed fortunes. They are those who stand unfazed by the desires of the flesh, especially sexual pleasure.

Control your libido before it controls you. Your greatest dream should not be to build things. It should be to build yourself ─ building yourself into a (wo)man who barely gives in to their desires.

An uncontrollable libido is like fire. It will soon consume everything in its way. It will consume one’s reputation and leave no crumb. An uncontrollable libido will leave the mighty hopeless. Some extraordinary (wo)men who were gifted in their prime died regretting the day they refused to zip up.

You have read and heard about many great people who were reduced to a loaf of bread because of their lust. Do not add to the statistics. Fight your demons every day, and keep them locked. There is a price for every pleasure. Never spend your lifetime paying for a pleasure that lasted for a few seconds. It is not a profitable venture.

I will teach my children about sexual discipline. Before I do, however, I must live it. I must show them. Teaching it will go to their heads. Living it will get into their hearts.

Sexual discipline is a must for everybody ─ the young, old, small, and mighty. No one is too young or old to control their libido. The small need self-control as much as the mighty. Your greatest conquest is the defeat of your pleasures. Until then, a minute of gain may be your lifetime of pain.

The writer is a playwright and Chief Scribe of Scribe Communications (www.scribecommltd.com) and Scribe Productions (www.scribeproductions.com).